LKH Wolf Howl videos

[michael-b-lee.livejournal.com]

So, last week, Jonathon posted a video (in three parts) of LKH's Wolf Howl Q&A on his YouTube site, and it's full of interesting and incredibly snarkworthy bits. If you've ever been curious what LKH, Jon, Darla and Charles are like in public, here you go. WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that these videos have been known to melt the human brain after only a few seconds of exposure. Death from hysterical laughter has also been known to occur.

Some highlights:

LKH's perspective on Richard. "He's a guy who is just determined to get married." With extra-special bonus rant on stupid men who decide they have to get married *right now* and will wed the first woman who comes along that even remotely fits their profile. Women do the same thing, she points out, but she has more sympathy for them because "their biological clock is ticking". Nice.

LKH's thoughts on Edward getting married. She's making "no bets" on whether he will marry Donna or not, but if he does, then Peter will be the best man and thus, responsible for organizing the bachelor party. Which Anita will then of course attend. Imagine the hilarity.

LKH displaying her total ignorance of firearms.

Jon (and Charles) acting like complete dorks. After seeing this, I'm so glad I'm not at Comic Con this weekend, because I know I would have crossed paths with Jon-boy at some point and...well, it would not have been pretty.

Here's the link to the main page: http://www.youtube.com/user/jondgreen. The videos are titled "Wolf Howl Q&A 1-3". Watch and be amazed. Or offended. Or amazingly offended.

Comments

[michael-b-lee.livejournal.com]

I know.

And then she goes on about how, eventually, Richard will bring home some nice, normal girl, and then Anita will have to admit to herself that she's "the other woman".

[recovered-dream.livejournal.com]

*checks the temperature in hell*

Nope, not today!

[sevariusjr.livejournal.com]

Off topic, but: OMG, icon love.

Sir Didymus!

[michael-b-lee.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Didymus is my hero. ;)

[recovered-dream.livejournal.com]

What bothers me is the idea that OMG someone wants a wedding and a real family! GOSH! How bad of them!

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

I still would like to these to happen to Richard:

To be the first person to get the cure ....

Marry a nice young lady ...

have 2.5 children or more...

grow fat and old and die surrounded by his wife, children, and grand-children.

Richard is the whipping boy for LKH. She got to put the blame on someone why not the character her ex-husband was based off of.

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

I don't understand how LKH thinks she is a feminist. She is very clearly not.

[nimnix.livejournal.com]

You know, I tried to watch, really. I ended up getting slightly queasy after the first few minutes of her pacing on the stage and the camera trying to follow. I'll just have to take your word for it.

[michael-b-lee.livejournal.com]

She keeps pacing the whole damn time (at one point she even turns her back on the audience to talk to Jon and Charles at one point), but the cameraman gives up trying to follow her around by the second and third video segments.

Not that I blame you for not watching. Not one bit. :)

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

She does this at all her signings during Q and A than puts on sunglasses and signs her books.

[shalanar.livejournal.com]

I tried but I just couldn't watch. Her voice...it annoys me. And Jonboi with his leprecaun looks...scares me. And now I feel slightly nauseous.

[recovered-dream.livejournal.com]

I'm watching the science center ones right now. *snicker*

Part 1

She admits that she's trying to get rid of Richard. This following a statement that Richard doesn't talk to her. Gosh, I don't know why. He's a powerful male who doesn't want to be coochie-bait! I wouldn't talk to her either. I give Richard bonus points!

She couldn't even clearly answer if she had a master list of characters or whatnot when asked how she keeps track of the characters by her own person!??? *eye roll* stupid wench! If you have canned questions, have answers to them!

Oh, Ronnie isn't around because she doesn't have as many men as Anita, so she's jealous! Naturally! She also "can't handle" Louie fighting with Ronnie anymore.

Part 2

She has no plans to stop writing these. Ahha.. thus the utter lack of plot! It's got to last... FOREVER! She says maybe in 20 yrs she'll retire. Oh god...

No happily ever after for Anita, because LKH doesn't believe in happily ever after.

She actually CUTS things to stay within her page limits???? Oh god, another mystery of horrid endings explained!

(Just personal thought here... DUDE! Jon is FUGLY!)

This second one is REALLY hard to hear, but there was some sort of rambling about the MG series...

Oh heavens, she's bragging that there's no sex in the first 4 AB books... that would mean something if AB hadn't more than covered sex since then! Since book 4, there has been enough sex for 20 books... and it wasn't even GOOD sex!

Ahh, she has too many people to give each a major role in every book. Hmm, could that be because her character development SUX!?

She doesn't write MG because she isn't "that close to her" and it was supposed to be 8 books, but she has a "plot block." Oh, and Merry gets a happily ever after because ... it's a fairy tale! Dang... I never saw Cinderella bang her step sisters and the prince and his brother and the footman for her coach!

Ahh, there is a problem with realllllly showing the mother of all darkness because OMG! LKH (rofl, I almost typed AB there!) would have to GO to Europe and be there and do the research! HERSELF! *eye roll* There aren't enough facts and pictures and videos of Europe that she couldn't do it from home? Oh wait... that requires LITERACY!

You're right, these things cause brain rot. They also cause an alien-abduction level of time loss. I am now missing a full half hour or more!

I think I should leave early and go home and recover in the hot tub. Preferrably with LOTS of alcohol!

[easol.livejournal.com]

Okay, why do we have to wait another twenty years for Anita's NON-happily ever after? I want to see the bitch either get blown to pieces or dumped by all her men NOW.

Ah, I doubt she will anyway. Her plans for this series are not solid at all, and somehow I can't see her inflicting an UNHAPPY ending on the oh-so-perfect Anita, her Mary Sue. She'll probably become the goddess of the vampires and weres or something.

And her hatred of Richard is getting really tiresome. I wonder if Gary got remarried or something, because her rage at him is surreal when you consider that she obviously doesn't have a good reason for it. If she had, she'd be spilling it all over her blog so people could see what a wounded soul she is.

It sounds like she's rewriting history so that it's HIS fault she wasn't satisfied with their marriage, as it should ALWAYS be. also explains why she treats Trinity as a nuisance now.

"Uh, yeah, it was his fault because... um, he wanted to get married right away, and I didn't, but I went anyway because... uhhh... uhhh... just a minute..."

I hope Richard DOES come home with a nice, pleasant girl who actually thinks about what HE wants occasionally, rather than just bawling, "you're trying to make me a housewife! You're trying to run my life! You're trying to change me WAAAAAAHHHHH."

She has to go to Europe before she can feature the MoD? Uhhhhh, lack of knowledge has never stopped her before, so I think this is just a way of making her the Voldemort of th series.

Re: wedding, who the hell puts a fifteen-year-old in charge of a bachelor party? And I agree that Anita would, of course, be there doing her butch-who-likes-peenie act -- and then the ardeur would hit and she'd have to jump into a broom closet with Peter.

[door.livejournal.com]

She treats Trinity as a nuisance now? Really? That's so sad.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I mean that she talks about craving time away from her and stuff. She used to dedicate stuff to her and everything, and now she's what keeps Mommy from having all-day over-the-house sex with Daddy Jon.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Re: wedding, who the hell puts a fifteen-year-old in charge of a bachelor party? And I agree that Anita would, of course, be there doing her butch-who-likes-peenie act -- and then the ardeur would hit and she'd have to jump into a broom closet with Peter.

Ok, I agree with this. A fifteen year old can't do or get any of the traditional bachelor stuff. No alchohol. No strippers. No clubs. No party. So, unless this marriage is three years (for some things) to six years (for all of it), then Peter has no legal right to organize a bachlor party.

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

Okay, why do we have to wait another twenty years for Anita's NON-happily ever after? I want to see the bitch either get blown to pieces or dumped by all her men NOW.

I would hope that she would be blown up too. Then, Asher and Jean-Claude could talk about their human servants, mourning about Julianna(?) and rejoicing about Anita and live happily ever after in homosexual/bisexual bliss.

And then Richard could finally suck it up and possibly find his balls. I'm thinking Anita is sucking all his manliness through the link. Actually, I think she's sucking EVERYONE's manliness and exuding Angst! and B!tchiness!.

Sigh, how I liked you LKH but now I worship Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden over yours.

*Daydreams of AB ending by Harry kicking her ass with Thomas*

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

Damn it, I wish there was an edit button. I'm now day dreaming about Thomas kicking Jean-Claude's and Asher's asses and teaching them how to be a real vampire.

Also, men have a bio clock to an extent too, don't they? I mean, sperm quality diminishes as they age and I assume most men want to be actually able to say "this is my kid" with out the whole "Oh, is this your grandchild?" Thing coming up first.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Yes, men have a bioclock as well -- it's not quite as vital as women's, but they get to a period in their lives where they are just craving to settle down and pass their genes on. It's an evolutionary thing, especially since children born to middle-aged (fifty plus) men are more likely to have serious problems like depression. It does happen to different men at different ages, though.

Ooooh, I would so love to see Thomas come barging in with his sawed-off shotgun and start kicking Jean-Claude and Asher around the room. The guy can kick butt in a loincloth and butterfly wings, which would get him points no matter what! He could give them some major pointers about being a sexy luvvable vampire... without French endearments, or being a big wangsty emoite with a Tewwible Twagic Past trotted out every five minutes.

BTW, I've been wondering, is "wangsty" meaning "wank-angst"?

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

HaOoooh, I would so love to see Thomas come barging in with his sawed-off shotgun and start kicking Jean-Claude and Asher around the room. The guy can kick butt in a loincloth and butterfly wings, which would get him points no matter what! He could give them some major pointers about being a sexy luvvable vampire... without French endearments, or being a big wangsty emoite with a Tewwible Twagic Past trotted out every five minutes.

Hah, Thomas could still wear that, bring that crystal sword and sawed-off shotgun and still be "I still look manlier than both of you and I can kick your ass!"

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

especially since children born to middle-aged (fifty plus) men are more likely to have serious problems like depression.

Wow, maybe that explains me...

BTW, I've been wondering, is "wangsty" meaning "wank-angst"?

Sure does. ^_^

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

And her hatred of Richard is getting really tiresome.

I so agree with you, but you have to remember Richard is her whipping boy. If he was to die, who would take his place. She loves everyone else?

I wonder if Gary got remarried or something, because her rage at him is surreal when you consider that she obviously doesn't have a good reason for it.

Actually, Gary did get remarried.

Sunday, June 18
Happy Father's Day ... My ex-husband, is off with his new wife on a trip.

That is just one thing. There is another about Gary wanting to take Trinity out with his wife and family. The way LKH wrote that it was cold.

My favorite of the blogs is the way LKH talked about meeting Gary:

He also had the most beautiful shoulder length chestnut brown hair. It had a lovely wave to it, and looked fabulous when he swam under water. He also had the most lovely brown eyes with great lashes. I've always been swayed by good hair and eyes.

What I didn't realize was that the hair was not a fashion statement. It was being a poor college student. The first chance he got to cut it, he did. His reasoning was that he couldn't get a job after college with long hair. I would spend the next sixteen years begging him to grow his hair long again. He would start to grow it out only in the sixteenth year, when we were separated.

Cutting his shoulder length chestnut brown hair sound a little too much like a character in LKH's book?

Also Richard cut his hair in CS and Anita was pissed sounds just like that blog.

Only difference was Richard came back in ID to say he was sorry and he missed his hair. Can we say someone was wishing her ex-husband would have done the same only came back to her on his knees ... begging forgiveness.

See, Richard is just a whipping boy to get out all that anger on an ex.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it all seems pretty clear -- she hates Gary/Richard because he has done what she can't forgive -- first he made his own decisions about things like his hair (which HE has to shampoo, live with, etc), rather than doing what SHE wants. And when they divorce, he dares to move on with his life with *gasp* another woman. Even though she's remarried and constantly raving about how happy she is, he doesn't get the same luxuries.

I suspect she thinks he should have done what Richard keeps doing -- pining after her, unable to find anything but loveless, unsatisfying sex with anyone else, and getting all angry-passionate at the tripodic Mr. Perfect waiting on her. Just like with the hair, where Richard comes back and agrees (of course) with Anita about his hair and says he's SORRY, as if he needed forgiveness for cutting his OWN hair.

But no, Gary has acted like any other normal adult would, and has moved on with life, love and personal choices. And I doubt LKH will forgive him for such a lethal blow to her ego, by displaying that for all her money and syncophants, she can't have what she wants.

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

But no, Gary has acted like any other normal adult would, and has moved on with life, love and personal choices. And I doubt LKH will forgive him for such a lethal blow to her ego, by displaying that for all her money and syncophants, she can't have what she wants.

You are so right. LKH will never let go of Richard because he is the only way she can get what she wants that she didn't get from Gary. There is no back talking. He will never leave her. The character may end up doing something to piss Anita off and than he comes back begging forgiveness. This is so childish.

Working out your issues but this is going beyond working out your issues. This is just sick.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Well, hope he's hugely happy with his tall blonde wife and nice normal life (Which also explains why LKH hates tall blonde people more than ever now, calling them Nazis etc). If LKH's behavior is anything to indicate what life must have been like, he deserves it.

Sometimes living well is the best revenge, to quote a cliche.

[terratheelf.livejournal.com]

I watched/listened to all three. The only thing that really bothered me about her was admitting she cannot keep her characters straight. Has this woman never heard of keeping a record of all her characters in say computer files or notebooks? I am not a very good writer in any shape of the imagination and my various stories all have several txt files dedicated to the details. I have notebooks all over the place with various details for all sorts of things I have written.

How can she not have something for the details beyond her mountain of post its and Darla? Has anyone ever asked her this?

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Oh, she's heard about a bible (character/importantfacs record keeping) and admits she needs one, but she just never gets around to making it. Her words.

[clover-elf-kin.livejournal.com]

Are there any guides out there to keeping such things? I've only recently heard about them at all--and yes, they sound needed!

[michael-b-lee.livejournal.com]

No, no such guides exist. The easiest and best way I've found is just to keep a file on your computer, and when you introduce a cool character bit or setting detail, go into the file and write it down. It doesn't even need to be all that organized at first; just so long as you have a place that you can come back to later to check on things you wrote previously. Me, I just kept going back to my previous books over and over again to make sure I got my character details right - and I didn't have a tenth of the menagerie that LKH has!

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Shit. If she's that lazy, she could probably look it up online. There are enough fans/exfans that keep track of ALL this shit, that someone out there's got to have made an exhaustive list.

-Dira-

[swiftgold.livejournal.com]

My sister and I use a pbwiki to keep files on our characters, places, histories, concepts, etc, etc. It works pretty well, especially since you can edit it from anywhere...

[fishsanwitt]

Run Peter, run!

[easol.livejournal.com]

Run to a therapist, Petie! Except... wait... not a therapist, because apparently Anita has bribed all relevant therapists to say that sex with her will cure anything. Uh, try a grandma or a priest or something.

[easol.livejournal.com]

But wait! That offensive comment doesn't matter, because she is a woman and in hindsight she thinks she shouldn't have gotten married right out of college, so she needs an excuse rather than admit that she made a mistake. It's perfectly okay, so don't you dare criticize the diety!

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Amen. I shot that cooterclock right out of the water YEARS ago, and it's not ticked once since.

LKH, feminism is thinking with something beyond your uterus, and NOT every woman wants or needs to have kids or be married to be fulfilled in life. Nor do all men NOT think with the part of them that wants to reproduce, where it actually DOES wish to do so, and not just get off. Plenty of men actually WANT to be fathers. They ALSO may push women into having kids they DON'T want all the time...

-Dira-

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

I only got as far as the first question before I had to turn it off. I wonder how long it took her to think up the Hannah/Candy mix-up.

I just can't believe that anyone actually cares about her husband, despite how often she shoves him down peoples' throats. Why is he even introduced? Why does he stand there like he has something to contribute?

And really, there comes a point when you have to grow up. She passed that point a long time ago... but doesn't seem to have realized it yet.

My computer went on strike

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

I tried watching the videos, but my computer refuses to allow part three to load. At least one of us had the sense to say no. Sadly, it was the unanimated piece of machinary.

I have some comments from those videos.

1. The first thing that got me was the first question. Apparently, according to LKH, Hannah was always supposed to be Candy, but Candy wasn't a pedigree vampire name. So, when the new copy editor didn't catch that mistake (or changed it to Candy, I got confused), it wasn't LKH's fault.

My answer: My ass! The copy editor doesn't change names in your books. And if you kept a log of characters, you'd know their names. It's your fault! Geez, accept responisibility and say, "yeah, whoops, my bad. Sorry about that."

2. She hopes Richard's therepist knows that he's a werewolf. Because that's not a secret you should keep.

My answer: What? And here I thought that he had to hide the fact or risk loosing his job. Now, a therepist might not go out and say, "Hey, he's a wolf" but it will be written down in his folder and could get out and where would that leave him? Ohhhh, plot idea!

3. Jason's book is going to be at least 400 pages long and he's not happy with the sex in the book.

My answer: Run Jason! Run!

4. Actually thinks Merry has enough men, but also thinks her characters are a bit pervese. After all, monogomus Anita can't decide between her heram and non-monogomus Merry has to.

My answer: If that's perverse, we need to talk. I think at least Merry is showing the capability to grow up and take on responsibility. Anita still acts like a hormonal teenager (no offense to teens) who wants what she wants now and who cares about the feelings of others. Sadly, Merry has my support in this.

5. Nathanial might get his own book, but not before Richard does. It actually sickened me to hear her talk about wanting to see the Zeeman family before Richard goes nuts. Was I the only one who caught that little tidbit?

My reaction: Richard goes nuts? Oh, sweet baby Moses, what does that woman have planned for poor Richie.

6. The whole shoulder holster speel. I was appalled. Now, I'm a big busted woman, but my sister could wear a shoulder holster with no problems. Why? She's got smaller breasts. I seriously think LKH forms her idea on women and sholder holsters based on her boobs. Not everyone is shaped like that.

My answer: do better research.

7. Jonboi and Charles annoy me. They act like little kids who want you pay attention to them. And yes, each time they acted up in the background, I found myself looking that way because I wanted to know what was going on.

My answer: Just take a seat and shut up!

8. And lastly, the whole character database thing. She doesn't use one. Nothing to keep track of her characters. For the love of little green apples, woman! I have a notebook with just a paragraph quick description of my characters. I save the long bible information for later, when I'm bored at work and have the time to input the information in a longer format.

My answer: Stop using sticky notes!

Y'know, I read this great writer's guide over the weekend. Janet Evanovich's How I Write was amazing. It had great advice, and I think a tips would really help LKH. Maybe, we should send her a copy.

Re: My computer went on strike

[ditaykan.livejournal.com]

I have not heard of Janet Evanovich's How I Write , but now I want it. Her books are hilarious to the extreme.

Sticky notes are good for writing something down that is going to come up in a later portion of the book, maybe, or that you need to write down when your Bible isn't at hand-- but then, one could also carry around a small Moleskine notebook, like I do. It can fit in my bag or my back pocket, has an elastic strap so it doesn't come open, and one of those ribbon things to mark your place. Plus, it holds more (way more) than a post-it, and is less likely to get lost or mixed up. Post-its... eh. Didn't she once say that she 'keeps the Post-it company in business'?

Then, there's the Bible. For my characters, even if I don't yet know their names, I write down every piece of information about them I can at that moment and have it in a Word file. The filename is a brief description of the character and the story they belong in. Before I even start writing, this is done. Sometimes I screw around in Photoshop to create an image file if they have odd and significant handwriting! It keeps me from screwing up or confusing one character for another!

...oh, man. Idea that I'm writing down here before I lose it, since my memory is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Probably inspired by a previous post here (dealing with Nikolaos?), I now want to write something about a vampire who died when she was... I don't know, twelve maybe, and has to deal with the genuine issues that would create.