JC's mind whammy

[easol.livejournal.com]

http://gonadsandstrife.proboards38.com/index.cgi?board=female&action=display&thread=1113859454&page=13

I have to say, I laughed myself silly. Basically they're reflecting on the deterioration of the AB series, the absurd amounts of sex, and the "mental" blog ramblings of LKH. Scroll down to Post 252.

The worst part is, I can really see this happening inside LKH's head. She's already established that the boundaries of reality and fantasy are blurred for her, if she seriously talks about buying gifts. Why not manipulation FROM the characters?

Comments

[pith]

Modly: No oneliners/really short posts. I believe I've already warned you about this once. I know you're posting a link, but still aim to have about 5 lines of your own content, please.

[lyndenlaura.livejournal.com]

Can you see this weasley french dude peeking over her shoulder as she types at the computer, saying, "Laurell, ma petite, my member is ever flaccid and although the prudish, hypocritical wonder-crotch does quite amuse me with her false bravado and ridiculous wardrobe, I am most dissatisfied."

(Here JC gives her vamp eyes, to put her under his undead spell) "I must insist that our little necromance-ho stops all this pretense of the 'I don't date vampires, I kill them'. Such nonsense. We all know this to be true. Your readers crave the sex stories as much as I do, and as much as we all know ma petite does, regardless of her many protestations.

In order to secure her position as a strong, independent *chuckle* woman of the 90's, let us create an excuse for her promiscuity."

(He puts a finger to his lips in mock concentration.)

"Yes. A phantom power or magical illness of some sort that will require our Anita to engage in much sex with many partners of the various species. Name it something with a fancy-sounding name to give it the guise of more exotic. Perhaps "dévergondée"? Zat is French. A secret pet name I have for ma petite. No? Simply call it the "arduer."
But of course! This arduer is so powerful, it shall overcome ma petite and there will be much pleasure to be had!"

(He looks in her eyes and gives her vamp mo-jo again just to make sure.)

"You will write interspecies erotica as no one has written outside the houses for the criminally insane sexually dysfunctional people of your subintelligent culture.
I insist that my undead flaccid member be used like so much meat.

If you will allow this Merry woman to be having much sex, then you must allow Anita to do the same. I will whisper these demands to your sweet Jon at night to assure my requirements are met.

For now, I must bid you Au revoir as I have a prior engagement with my beau Asher.

(He whispers in her ear.)

But wait. One more thing. Destroy that Richard gentleman. He is no longer of any use as he will not cooperate in these tales of monster erotica. Create in his stead a man-beast of large penis but no balls.
Bonne nuit, my darling Ms. Hamilton, bonne nuit.

Fucking brilliant.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I laughed myself stupid. Thanks for the link

JC's whammy by Raven of the Strife

[raven-strife.livejournal.com]

LMAO!
Hey, that's me!
I've never been here before, but I have a message board where we talk about authors, one of which is LKH.
Somehow, the snarky thing I posted on my board ended up here.
I thought I was the only one to find that stuff funny.
I'm flattered anyone would be amused to enough to repost it somewhere.

I have no idea how to navigate this place to post and all that, but it's nice to meet people with similar reading interests. (Present or former interests, that is.)
Any suggestions?

[rin-x-x.livejournal.com]

On the next page, someone posted a link to this community, but it says the entry doesn't exist. Hm.