Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[dwg.livejournal.com]

"Flat out did it for him/her/it/me/ficus" Yeah, I get it already. I flat out get it, Laurell.

"kitty-cat eyes" (FELINE! FEEELIIIINE!!! AND OMG, CHARTREUSE IS NOT AN ATTRACTIVE COLOUR! I have a snot green laundry -- and it's mocking you, LKH!)

"too pretty to be handsome, too beautiful to be real," -- specially when it comes to describing the men.

"pulse like candy" and variations of it rolling around mouths and/or over tongues, "tasting sweet, so sweet, like copper pennies".

"He was fast, but he was slow." and variations on the theme. I'm sorry, but it has to be one thing or the other.

And possibly my favourite, "Fuck me!" mm-hmm, that never gets old. NEVAH.

You know, I probably have a list somewhere of phrases that just piss me off, or I just point and laugh at the wurdz.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

"pulse like candy" and variations of it rolling around mouths and/or over tongues, "tasting sweet, so sweet, like copper pennies".

Now, those always confused me. One, my candy doesn't pulse. And two, copper pennies aren't sweet. Maybe I'm eating the wrong candy and sucked the wrong penny.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It's more of a referral to someone's pulse-points being like candy or some shit like that. Or there's the ever popular, 'fluttering like a caged thing/butterfly/whatever' which makes me think of that HIM song and how much I just laugh about RIPPING OFF THE BUTTERFLY WIIIIINGS TOOO MYYYY SSSSOOOOUUUUULLLL, but HIM usually provokes that reaction out of me.

I swallowed at 20c piece once. Not fun. Not fun at all.

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

The copper pennies one gets me everytime. I sucked on one as a kid and it was so gross and yucky! I think I did it on a dare. YUCK.

[cheeky-duckie.livejournal.com]

I choked on one and passed out once as a kid. If kissing anyone was like that, damned if I'd kiss anyone.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

"Flat out did it for him/her/it/me/ficus"

OH GOD I HATE THIS ONE SO MUCH.

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

OT: If my eyes do not deceive me, that be Alfred Hitchcock in that there icon :D

[dwg.livejournal.com]

That IS Hitchcock! I found the image aaages ago on a vintage movie hunt (Vincent Price & Christopher Lee, FTW!) and decided that I NEED THIS as a motivator. And Hitchcock is probably the best person ever to poke fun of LKH with, so here he is, passing out the nooses. :D

[easol.livejournal.com]

Because Hitchcock was like the KING of darkity-dark-darkness, but he didn't include enough SEX and LOVE and PRETTY LONG-HAIRED MEN in his movies. So now we have the NEW-AND-IMPROVED Queen of Darkity-Dark Darkness Wot Is Dark, who will educate us on the true nature of gawthy angsty darkness and screamy sex!

[genchaos.livejournal.com]

*snorts her Coke*