Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

Add to the Awful Simile category any time Merry describes herself as "looking like I'd swallowed the moon" when she means glowing and not spherical.

Actually, one I can't stand but we've been spared from is when, every god damn time she talks about Ronnie:

"Veronia - Ronnie - Sims ..."
or
"Ronnie - Veronica - Sims ..."

Because other than that, she NEVER calls Ronnie Veronica. So why the hell did we ever need to know, and why does she repeat it every. Bloody. Time. There's a scene with Ronnie?

[lannamichaels]

Because Ronnie's normally a boy's name? This one I actually understand. As much as it annoys me, she really does need to do a recap of minor players the first time they show up in a book in case people haven't read the other books or haven't read them in a while.

Although she could do it smoother, true.

[easol.livejournal.com]

She should do one of those Agatha Christie-style character lists, where you devote a page or two to the characters that are in some way important, and any brief relevant information (not hair colour, but maybe who they're feuding with, dating...).

A character list that did not so much Fall as saunter vaguely downwards

[lannamichaels]

That would work, too.

Re: A character list that did not so much Fall as saunter vaguely downwards

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Points for the Good Omens reference. ^__^

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I guess, but I think it's fairly obvious that "Ronnie" is being used as a nickname, and surely there are other ways to explain it than using the same wording every single time? I realise I'm talking about the Queen of Cut-And-Paste Authors here, but it makes my brain skip like a faulty record.

[the-mome-wrath.livejournal.com]

"looking like I'd swallowed the moon"


You mean she's full of cheese?

[kerame.livejournal.com]

"You mean she's full of cheese?"

It's the only way she could handle that much bacteria.