Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[othellia.livejournal.com]

My eyes change color depending on lighting/what I'm wearing.

Perhaps you have hazel eyes too. Then again, to me hazel is synonymous with "other." How else do you explain eyes that are blue when you're little, mostly green, brown, or green/brown now, but occasionally change back to gray and slate blue from time to time.

And a bit more random, but I thought most stereotypical vampires had red eyes... (Mine have a high chance of having blue eyes, but I don't think they really count as "vampires" anymore.)

[easol.livejournal.com]

Sounds hazel to me. My brother change from greenish to brownish when he changes clothes, and depending on the light.

I used to have hazel eyes, and I just put down "brown." Nobody really checks that stuff unless you're buying coloured contacts. :)

[lannamichaels]

Nope, mine hang out in the blue to green spectrum.

As for the vamps, no, not red eyes. This thing came about after I had to walk home for a half hour on a very sunny day after getting my pupils dilated. Oh, the pain, and that was with sunglasses. I decided to explain the vampires' aversion to sunlight is that they have huge pupils and black irises. So, you know, they won't look like freaks who just got their pupils dilated even in the middle of the night. Although I suppose I could give them light eyes and have people go "oh my fucking god, their pupils are huge! o.O"

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Haha. I thought the same thing when I got my pupils dilated a few years ago. Of course, as soon as I realized I felt like a vampire, I decided to make the most out of the situation. Except, even though they have big pupils, they still maintain their original iris color. And then this other subrace, with an entirely different set of complications, can adjust to light somewhat. Their pupils just contract over a hundred times slower than a human's, and they'd still probably only be able to tolerate a partly-cloudy day before they had to switch to sunglasses... but they can re-dilate and adjust to sudden darkness extremely fast. And then there's this other race, but their pupils are extremely small instead of...

... I'll just stop now. XD