Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[easol.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hate that too. Especially since she goes out of her way to mention how Whorenita wuvvies all her penii, and then makes it sound as unromantic as possible. It's really very telling, actually.

Maybe it's because "fucking" sounds more brutal and/or aggressive than "make love", "screw" or even the more clinical "have sex" or "copulate." Then again, maybe LKH is shooting for a more masculine style instead of the traditional romance terms. Or she thinks it will piss off the "right-wing Christians" who are obviously deeply threatened by her Anne-Rice-lite porn.

Which reminds me: does it seem out of place in some characters' speech? It seems appropriate for someone like Jason, but given how hard she works to make JC and the other male vampires more-ethereally-refined-than-thou in speech and manner, it seems weird that they'd be talking endlessly about "fucking this" or "fucking that." Technically it isn't inaccurate, since the word originated in the 1500s, but it doesn't fit...

Re: screaming, it can also be damn annoying for anyone trying to sleep down the hall.

[genchaos.livejournal.com]

*rolls eyes* I'm a left-wing Christian, and the way she renders it disgusts me. Of course in her own deluded little world, anybody who doesn't blindly and dopeily worship the crud she turns out as the Best Writing Evar is against her, so lo we are lumped into one giant conspiracy. Ooo, I am *so* threatened. I guess in her worldview, feeling like we're threatened by her ever so avant garde writing is better than disgust or pity, which is far closer to the truth and better reflects her tripe.

And yeah, the screaming is ridiculous. Maybe occasionally, but sex doth not necessarily involve that level of noise. But nope, it's never sighing or moaning or groaning, it's screaming like a cat stuck in a blender, encounter in, encounter out. Give me a break.