A cautionary tale

[aikikaz.livejournal.com]

First warning: Sweet Mother of Relevant Deity, I've missed this place. Rambling Ahoy!

Second warning: For lo, I was slipping into the path of (really darkity dark) darkness. I'd chucked nearly all -her- books ya see, and part of me was thinking 'Maybe it might be something like the blurb. Maybe this next waste of paper might have more than 2 lines of plot...'

Yes, I had fallen. I admit to this moment of weakness.

But just when all was looking grim, I recovered my net access and recovered... well, sanity might be pushing it, but you get the idea.

I wasn't going to touch the numerous idiocies inherent in the -steels self, whispers- Harlequin. Really, I wasn't. It's already been done, in exacting, hilarious detail, by those far more eloquent. -coughsharkbytescough- Still, I couldn't resist this one. I'm sure anyone who's managed to actually read the thing properly - valiant souls all - will correct me but...

Did the supposedly-hardarse Harlequin truly get their heads handed to them because some idiot forgot to send Merita and co. a black mask? Did the flunkies form a union? Were Fed-Ex on strike?

Or am I simply getting caught up in 'plot' points when we all know it's a tissue waved around so Merita can shag everything and flaunt her shiny godmod powers.

One final thing. I always try and stick with book not author bashing. There's so much ammo after all, and truthfully I am indifferent to anything LKH is, says or does. I'm here to listen to the symphony (or help form the mosh pit) not pick at the conductors dress sense. And yet,

"A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero, a bad novel tells us the truth about it's author." G K Chesterton

Comments

[easol.livejournal.com]

Ah, worry not. :) We will always welcome back straying snarkers. :D

Seriously, I thought it was merely mediocre when I first read it, but now it seems almost blindingly bad -- even worse because it SHOULD be better than it is. It really should -- it has so much that could have made it good. Edward, less sexxin', Nathaniel finally giving Whorenita an ultimatum about HIS needs...

... but it DOESN'T work. It just rots as it's built up.

And Chesterton was a wise dude. :) I once quoted him in a vampire-related discussion: "With our weak spirits we should grow old in eternity if we were not kept young by death. Providence has to cut immortality into lengths for us,
as nurses cut the bread and butter into fingers.'

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

YES I second these recs.

I am reading Locke Lamora right now. It's wonderful. Good writing. Thick with plot and characters that are likeable and fun.

And I have praise for Patricia Briggs too. She's a wonderfully quick read. Just the thing to erase that bloated feeling you have after reading LKH. I like the character is independant without being annoying. I have Blood Bound here, I just haven't gotten to reading it yet.

[darkese.livejournal.com]

You think that putting more plot and less sex would be a good thing. The problem is that the plot just doesn't work for many reasons.

This is the plot and logic problems I saw:

Harlequin - follow the rules which actually hinder any assassinations (sending out white masks therefore telling their victims exactly who and what they are) and don't follow the part of the rules that would save their own asses (handing out red masks which makes the emo vibes ok and not a death sentence for them).

Harlequin - Why are they following any rules since they aren't their on official council business at all?

Harlequin - Why do they only send emo vibes and not physically attack when the whole point is to take over JC's kiss.

Harlequin - Why do they kill two humans, masquerade as Church members to take over JC's kiss. These two things aren't even related but the in book logic is that by killing humans they get the Executioner after them so ...not sure where it goes from there.

Harlequin - When the Tri is in a coma why do they stop attacking? Even the characters do a WTF moment about this.

Asher - Why does he call in Haven who was sent away as 'too dangerous' in the previous book? The Tri is in a coma and he calls in Haven to help? Does not compute for those reasons.

Feeding - Why doesn't the feeding on the rats affect Dr. Lillian? No one knows but it sure is convenient since the tri needs a doctor right at that moment.

Belle Morte - Why is she keeping the Tri alive and how from such a distance when JC is his own bloodline now? No explanation given.

Ardeur - It says the ardeur has always been about more then just sex? Excuse me? Huh? WTF?

Final fight - What are these Harlequins doing while the Tri have a discussion about the nature of God and faith? They are good ninjas and are waiting their turn to fight.

There is more but my brain hurts.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Why do they only send emo vibes and not physically attack when the whole point is to take over JC's kiss.

God... The "kiss" thing has always sounded retarded, but seeing it like this makes it sound really retarded. Sorry if I'm not making much coherent sense right now...

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

That's the way it is
Nooooo that's not the way
That's the way it is
Nooooo that's not the way
It's in his kiss

-Isn't that part of a Cher song?

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

Well, it's originally sung by Betty Everett, but Cher did sing a version. Though your lyrics are slightly off. ^_^

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

"Oh, if you want it to be possesive
It's just I-T-S
But if you want it to be a contraction
Then it's I-T-apostrophe-S...
Scalawag"