Happy Gawthy V-Day

[easol.livejournal.com]

1. What kind of sick freak would send an "Anita Blake" V-day card?

2. Love how they didn't remove the Marvel logo. Nothing says V-day like comic books.

3. What in God's green earth makes LKH think that anyone would want Whorenita as their symbol of love and romance? She makes it glaringly clear that she hates romance and anything else considered "girly," despises anyone who doesn't, prefers sex to any form of emotional intimacy, and loathes anyone who wants any kind of emotional attachment to her even as she demands use of their penis.

If we ever heard anyone in the series talk about V-day, it would either be 1) Nathaniel begging for some kind of romantic Valentine gesture, and Anita squirming at the thought of (icky! yuck!) NORMAL RELATIONSHIP STUFF or 2) Anita reflecting on how V-day was such a big deal when she was a kid, and she hated it because it was so GIRLY AND MUSHY, thus making her superior to all those stupid little blond girls who made/gave them.

4. WAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH... sniffle snuff...
http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/images/Anita_Blake_Postcard.JPG

What can this presage but future Edward bonkage? Couldn't have a pic like JC snogging Whorenita in the rain -- no, she has to soil Edward!

Comments

[unrund.livejournal.com]

*cries from laughter*
Whorenita looks like a bowling pin! Seriously, with that kind of bottom and that kind of waist she needs to be beware of bowling balls!

[pith]

Modly: Not a big deal, but the postcard was brought up at the beginning of the month, as part of the Valentine's Day challenge :)

http://community.livejournal.com/lkh_lashouts/335194.html

[easol.livejournal.com]

Oh, sorry. :( I didn't really look at that post because I suck at all contests.

[lovedstrangely.livejournal.com]

edward looks yummy there. too bad his character will be ASSASSINATED SOON.

*sigh*

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

Poor Anita. Something bit a big chung out of her lower torso. :(

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Edward actually looks pretty good. Anita, on the other hand, looks like she has extreme scoliosis, especially next to Edward's relative normalcy. We can't even see the full extent of the spinal curvature because her arm is in the way, and anyway her internal organs couldn't fit in that itty bitty torso. Damn, it's almost like Liefeld art without the pouches.

Edited because I just realized they're pointing guns at each other under their arms (and through Edward's coat) and that's...actually kind of clever. Heh.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I thought she had some kind of hunchback and her shirt was torn to reveal bloodied skin at first, due to the skin-like colour of the background.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Heh, now that you've said that, I can't stop seeing it that way.

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

OT, but damn your icon is hot. :) I really need more Supernatural icons...

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Ain't it just? It's actually kind of an in-joke, but I love it too much to not use. I can't remember what the context was, but one of my friends once said, "Of course Dean would be the hottest vampire! If he were a lampshade, he'd be the hottest lampshade!"

[darkese.livejournal.com]

It is clever and LKH never thought of it. She never had Edward and Anita stand like that. An artist made this up.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

I'm fully aware of that, and was giving credit where it was due: to the artist.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Sigh, he could have done a lot more with the concept, I think.

[darkese.livejournal.com]

He could of because it looks more like they are trying to inoculate themselves with their guns then shoot each other.

[sadlikeknives.livejournal.com]

Well, sure, he could have, but let's face it, this is not the greatest artist in the world, and he's working with, well, Anita. I think it's meant to evoke those Mr. and Mrs. Smith posters, which, Edward fits much better into that ethos than Anita does. Less pink and falling rose petals would've been a huge start. But then I think it's supposed to be cheeky...

Hmm, let's run with this. Keep Edward and Anita (they are soulmates, after all...), keep the idea that it's a valentine, how could it be reworked to be more appropriate to the characters? My first thought was 'an actual heart' a la that AU Midnighter comic where he leaves the hearts of his enemies as 'flowers' at samurai!Apollo's grave, but Edward would probably find that terribly gauche. A bolder color palette, maybe, reds instead of pinks, and if Edward had an actual expression on his face (Anita looks kind of annoyed, which I like), and the guns could be aimed so it looks less like they're planning to shoot each other's elbows.

Damn, I wish I could draw.

[nicbemused.livejournal.com]

Nothing says love like a couple of sociopathic assassins. Yay romance!

[jeannette.livejournal.com]

Who are apparently pointing guns at each other. That really gets the message across.

[viridian5.livejournal.com]

Then comes the hatesex, Anita's favorite kind!

[nicbemused.livejournal.com]

plus office sex, desk sex, love sex, sex on the floor, sex in the tub, sex in the car, sex on a plane, sex on a stage, sex in a house, sex with a weremouse, sex in a lurch, sex in the church...

*cough* sorry, I started to here Green Eggs and Ham.

[viridian5.livejournal.com]

Heh. But how much "love sex" does she actually do?

[nicbemused.livejournal.com]

Well, she does seem to love sex. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. Does that count? *smiles brightly*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Actually, the cards were free.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Ah, but it's also a sort of ad for her comic books.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

...yes, and authors and their camps are wont to flog such things. There's nothing against that.

It's just that Team LKH aren't really great at it, or providing quality overpriced merch to hawk.

[easol.livejournal.com]

You said it. Ugh, remember those weird photoshopped ads they made when "Harlequin" came out, with strange incomprehensible "I am such a sexy badass" messages and incorrect grammar? The one where Darla's lower body was completely missing, for example.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

...you should avoid LKH's cafepress. That's all kinds of WTF in the worst possible way. (Throw cushions? YARD SIGNS?!)

[easol.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like Monty Python, Star Trek, James Bond, LOTR, etc.

For a cult series with a rather narrow reader range, the "can't Choose Just One" would not evoke anything like the killer rabbit or "Frodo For President" would. It would just make people think, "Hello, pregnant hobag."

[dwg.livejournal.com]

I can't stop laughing at the Mistral themed things, as he looks like some kind of Norwegian rocker.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Oh, he so does! :D The Frost and Galen ones are just really cheap, and oh man, the Merry one is a colorized version of an LKH photo.

And ew, that picture of Whorenita and JC in the tub. Even if it weren't waaaayyy TMI, I can't get over how hairy JC is. Are his eyebrows supposed to be that HUGE? Is his hair supposed to be that enormous? Are we sure he's the vampire and not the werewolf?

And the "Coffin Bait for Asher" one just doesn't make any sense to me. Oh, and "Nathaniel's Keeper"? Very creepy.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Imagine trying to get lucky with some girl, getting her nekkid, and then seeing this? A more effective contraception method has not yet been developed!

OMG... And is it just me, but doesn't the thong make it seem like "Rabid LKH Fan" is a STD? Which, of course, it probably is. And you can probably also interpret just "LKH" as being an STD...

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I'm the only one who was horrified by the "Future Merry Gentry Fan" infant creepers and bibs.

Does that count as aiding and abetting child abuse?

[longtail.livejournal.com]

Ya know, Edward is just about the last character I would consider for a Valentine next to say...Satan.

[novadivine.livejournal.com]

On the one hand, I can appreciate taking the piss out of Valentine's Day. I prefer my romance mixed with a little tongue-in-cheek humor. Therefore, I might send this to my guy as a joke, provided he was in on the joke in the first place.

But this is Team LKH and they are most likely utterly, utterly serious about it. Frankly, I can't imagine anyone finding this cute--besides mysogynist women and submissive long-haired girly men with huge members, that is.

[surcia.livejournal.com]

Off topic, I could be completely wrong, but... is your icon from The League of Gentlemen?

[novadivine.livejournal.com]

It is! That would be restart officer Pauline Campbell-Jones. I share her love of pens.

[surcia.livejournal.com]

...I love that show. Have you read Mark Gatiss' books?

Not to be completely off-topic, I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would dump me if I gave her one of those. Maybe they're actually a cunning ruse to find out if one's significant other has good literary tastes or not? If you give one to your S.O. and s/he likes it, you know to run?

[surcia.livejournal.com]

To clarify, because I'm sick and braindead, I was talking about the valentines in the second part and not Gatiss' books. Those books are awesome, and Lucifer Box is more attractive than all of Hamilton's imaginary men combined.

[novadivine.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the books, but they're on my wishlist. My backlog of things to read is way too long at the moment. I do have "A Local Book for Local People," though. I may have to bump the Gatiss books up in the queue, though.

Back on topic, you're completely right. If I gave my SO one of those cards and found out he was a closeted Anita fan, I'd have to break up on the spot. Yeah, I'm a jerk, but I'm a jerk with standards. :)

[surcia.livejournal.com]

I cannot recommend The Vesuvius Club highly enough. I don't think there are enough good words to do it with. The Devil in Amber was also really good, but not (in my opinion) quite as good as Vesuvius Club.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Couldn't have a pic like JC snogging Whorenita in the rain -- no, she has to soil Edward!

Totally random, but now I have that phrase stuck in my head to the tune of a certain well-known song...

I'm snoggin' in the rain
I'm snoggin' in the rain
What a metaphysical feelin'
I feel sexy again...

XD

[easol.livejournal.com]

Somebody needs to flog LKH's newest blog entry. It's truly nauseating.