Blogflog March 19

[pearkiwi.livejournal.com]

This blog had me quite giggly, but I'm sure that's my issue, and not one of LKH's many many issues. Hey, at least she's talking about the books in this blog, and not stupid things I could care less about, like: her throwing up eel, her talking more about her guns then I've seen her talk about her kid, ever, or that she totally coined the term "Sometimes you nail the interview; sometimes the interview nails you."

Link to this blog here. LKH in Italics, me normal. Anyway, here's:




I've thought of a lot of things to blog about tonight. That we just finished watching the Disney movie, ENCHANTED, and it was great. All three of us highly recommend it.

My first thought was "Wait, now she's forcing Darla to watch movies with her?" Then I realized that maybe, just maybe, she was spending time with the kiddo.

I'm over half way done on the Merry book, SWALLOWING DARKNESS. That's nice, over half way done. I've found my stride, at last. The scene I did today was fun and frightening, beautiful and horrific. It was a Merry moment. I can't tell you much about it without giving away some very major plot points. I'm in the end game on the book, so I can't share. Sorry.

Seriously? Swallowing Darkness? Hahahaha. Oh LKH, we all know that this "Merry moment" you speak of is just Merry gaining yet another power, likely though some sort of weird sex. And wait, she's in the end game of the book, but she's only midway through it? It's nice that she's getting that pesky plot out of the way, for more sex. Because if the Merry books are lacking in anything, it's sex.

just wanted to reassure everyone that though I'm blogging about Anita, Merry is well in hand.

[Cheapshot]I'm sure Merry is in many hands. Haha. [/cheapshot]

I've been giving myself permission, if I finish the deadline pages early enough, to write on anything I want later in the day. What's been wanting to be written is Anita. I've never actually written two different books in two different series at the same time before. I've written one, and edited the other, but I've never attempted this much first draft of two books simultaneously. I wasn't sure it would work, but since the next Anita book is due at the end of November, it's not like the work will go to waste.

Poor LKH, being forced to write (by herself, even). It's not like her job is writing or anything.

I loved the first two chapters of the Anita book yet to be titled, but then I bogged down. I just couldn't seem to bridge the next scene. I put it away for a few days and just concentrated on Merry. Then an idea came to me, or rather a way to get Edward on stage earlier, at least by phone. So, chapter three was Edward on the telephone, and it worked. Now Anita is on the ground hunting vampires out of state and Edward is there.

Well, hey, at least Anita is back to doing something besides having sex, and bitching. And hey, Edward is always good. (Hope is flying around wildly in excitement at the potential return to plot.)

Olaf is on stage, and I've even brought back a character oft requested that was also in OBSIDIAN BUTTERFLY, yep, Bernardo. It's like old home week.

Oh good gods, she's going to screw all three of them. And we're going to get more subtle racism in this book. Poor poor Bernardo. (Hope just got hit by a plane. It's twitching a lot...I don't think that's a good sign.)

I almost didn't do this book next since we spend most of BLOOD NOIR out of town with just Jason. I didn't want to do two books in a row where we're out of St. Louis with less than the full cast.

Because if Anita isn't banging everyone, then feelings are going to be hurt. And wait, how can Anita go out of town with just Jason? Doesn't she need another guy to feed off of, at the very least? And when going out of town, doesn't she have to take people with her to ensure that no one tries anything while she's in their territory? I have a headache from thinking about this too much.

I actually work at one desk in the morning on Merry, then change to another desk and the second computer in the afternoon for Anita.

That's weird. I mean, I'll switch from laptop to scribbling on a legal pad when I'm writing, but two different computers & desks? Does LKH really need to worry about, um, cross contamination between the books? More importantly, would anyone even notice?

Comments

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

I still can't believe that no one told her that titling any book "Swallowing Darkness" is a bad idea. I mean, sexual innuendo jokes aside, "swallowing" is just an ugly word. It doesn't sound nice. It doesn't bring to mind any nice or interesting images. If this book was not being written by LKH, I would assume its some Dr. Seuss knock-off horror book for children. Since it is being written by LKH, it makes me think of badly written blow-jobs. If LKH were not so afraid of describing a vagina, I would think it was a book about badly written oral sex scenes.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

So, chapter three was Edward on the telephone, and it worked.

LOLz If it was any other author I would not think she literally meant the entire chapter was a telephone conversation. Since this is LKH I KNOW that is, in fact, exactly what she means. She's so proud of this too. Awww. Yes dear Laurel, a telephone conversation with Edward is a brilliant idea. Such a creative way to bring him into the story early on. We've never seen that one before. Well, not too much. Just in every book he makes an appearance in. *pats her*

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

Haha, my favorite part of her blog was this:

The voices are strong, not crossing, and the supporting cast is unique to each book.

Honey, if you put down the characters on index cards, threw them up in the air, and randomly separated them into two piles, I'm sure 90% of the readers would NOT know the difference.

Hot guys. One uber powerful sex addict. They all have sex. The end.

Not exactly unique, LKH.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

Still trying to get over Swallowing Darkness - sorry Doyle - I'd safe you if you hadn't already been taken over by the cardboard syndrom

Damn Olaf, Bernardo and Edward? All in the 'hands' of the crotch of doom at once .... no, no please ...
I want them to kill her not be killed by the STD's they get from her

[rin-x-x.livejournal.com]

It's come up on the forums, actually. Theres an entire thread dedicated to it.

And people asking how she could have possibly gotten it past her publishers and the Twu-bies claiming that she's always wanted this title and she should get her way because she's the author. And that many didn't even see the sexual innuendo and thats not really what its supposd to meeeean!~

That run-on sentence was supposed to portray the attitude there.

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

I'd bet the "plot" of this book is about marrying giving a blow job to some fairy guy who can only get women pregnant if they swallow his soldiers. Which will probably be "dark" in some way.

. . . The sad thing is that is actually not completely insane when talking about LKH.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Dear LKH,

Please do not be tainting Enchanted. Disney is one of my last joys in life. Please be staying far far away from it.

Thank you,

Me

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Really? Sure the movie was cute, but my thoughts on it are mixed. At least LKH didn't misspell the title.

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

me toooo....I know I'm going to wind up kicking myself for it in the end.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It could have been, "OM NOM NOM NOMMING DARKNESS" and then nobody would take it seriously.

Then again, it's not like they do now.

[friedwallaby.livejournal.com]

Nathaniel will suddenly be able to call little animals to help him with the housework!

[phyrra.livejournal.com]

Now that's a funny image :P

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Can someone explain to me how LKH can write Merry when she wants to be concentrating on Anita? It seems counter productive.

Oh wait-I'm talking about LKH. Damn.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Actually, she writes by use of Mad Libs. All she has to do is fill in the key words in the template and she's done.

[rfienneslover.livejournal.com]

Or, "Gobble-Gobbling Darkness."

[rfienneslover.livejournal.com]

Aren't the characters interchangeable anyway?

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but the super dooper special powers are different. Anita heals with the power of her sex. Merry can actually flip a person inside out with her hand.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I forgot how cool Merry sounds on paper. "She can turn people inside out. And they're immortal so they don't die!" That is awesome. So why is the book full of boring sex and not enough gore?

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

Oh, god. I liked Bernardo in OB, but I just know that in this book there will be a discussion of his penis size versus Micah's.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

IMHO LKH had a cowriter for GP-OB and Kiss of Shadows. I don't know if that person was her first husband Gary or someone else that she managed to eliminate from her life. I'm sure that in LKH's mind that person was "just helping her edit" or some crap like that. Anyway that person has clearly left and took with him pacing, plot and editing leaving behind characters that suffer from Narsistic Personality Disorder.
http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/whatisanarcissist.msnw

[xenia-27.livejournal.com]

I know a woman, who translates MG novels into Russian. She is already having headache when she is trying to find a decent way to translate Swallowing Darkness. A Lick of Frost was bad, but is almost too much. :)

[duchym.livejournal.com]

Yep...it wouldn't surprise me at all if the entire chapter is a phone conversation with perhaps a framing sentence or two at each end of the phone call.

Hamilton always tells rather than shows.

[duchym.livejournal.com]

Maybe Bernardo is safe? Anita does not do humans...

[judaistic.livejournal.com]

No!!! I see character assasinations ahead!!!

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Bernardo's a gonner. Either he becomes a wereanimal or he's been hiding the fact that he's a secret monster. He'll expose his life long trauma and secret identity to Anita because she looks at him as if he was a human and makes him feel like a man, not a monster.

[darkese.livejournal.com]

>>I almost didn't do this book next since we spend most of BLOOD NOIR out of town with just Jason. <<

How convenient that Anita has to constantly surround herself with pretty boys in case of the ardeur or one of her many many beasts start to come out but as soon as she wants to leave town she can do it with just one man.

I was going to say that I bet she comes up with some cutesy Mary Sue explanation as to why she can suddenly do this when she can barely go to the bathroom without an entourage in previous books. Then I remembered all her other plot holes and know she's just not going to mention it. It's maaagic.

[rfienneslover.livejournal.com]

*sings* Oh oh, it's magic!

[bubblefaerie.livejournal.com]

I'm actually scared of Edward being in any future books. You know that Peter won't be far behind. He'll have jumped a few years and become a were so Anita will have to have sex with him.

[moontear.livejournal.com]

!!! XII icon! :O Sorry, that made me happy. Haha.

[moontear.livejournal.com]

Meh. I'm stupidly hoping that maybe we'll get some good ol' plot coming back into the picture. Maybe. If that's at all possible and not too much to hope for. I know I'll probably be a bit disappointed, but it's still nice to hold out a little. XD;;

[longtail.livejournal.com]

He's already got the huge dong and long hair. I agree, he's Crotch Bait.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

That's Edward's real role in the future of the series.

The Peter Pimp

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

Oh great, ANOTHER book without the St. Louis vampires. And I bet she won't even kill off Olaf, even though he badly needs killing.

Dear LKH:

Stop screwing around. I don't care who/what else Anita does, but the following things need to happen post-haste:

Bring Sampson into his siren-powers. Without making him a slave to her royal ardeurness, thnxverymuch.

Kill Olaf very, very dead. Have Edward do it, because it is, after all, his job. Or it was before you decided to make him fluffybunny-Ted.

Get Jean-Claude and Asher together, without the monkey-in-the-middle.

If these things do not happen in the next book or two, I will be forced to mail you giftwrapped doggie-doo. And my neighbors have some very big dogs.

Sincerely,
Me


I actually use two different computers. My roomie's comp is easier to type on than my laptop, so I do a lot of my writing on it when he's not around, then transfer the results to my comp.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Cute little animals, only the cute ones. Though, I have a funny image of after the housework is done, Nate having a snack of chipmunk.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

OH, I can't wait for the Princess and the Frog.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

I felt about the same way about Enchanted - it was cute, but... meh. I'd have enjoyed it more if I hadn't wanted to strangle the heroine most of the time. I mean, I get that they were going for with her was "sweet and innocent," but I felt that what they mostly achieved was "stupid and inconsiderate."

[easol.livejournal.com]

... and to tell his girlfriend to shut up, because of COURSE serving her son to Anita's Petite Fissure de Ruine is a good idea, because Anita ALWAYS knows best, and the kid's own mother is obviously just jealous.

[easol.livejournal.com]

"... when she can barely go to the bathroom without an entourage in previous books."

Primarily because she can't manage something that simple without one of her beasts escaping or Damien collapsing. Why are we supposed to think she's so tough again?

[easol.livejournal.com]

The only way I can tell them apart now is

1. JC and Asher have random spurts of French.
2. Richard is very understandably negative around Whorenita.
3. The emo ones spew poetry.

If negativity, poetry or French are not present, then they all blur together. As for Merry's men, the only one who has his own voice is Frost -- and that's because he's the only one with any development and believable background.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Yay! A fellow brother/sister-in-arms. For me, it didn't irk me too much that Giselle was extremely naive and stupid; it was the fact that the movie started off as a parody and then didn't carry through with it. New York started off as... well, New York, but it suddenly turned right back into true love and happy endings and a really bad CGI dragon when I wasn't looking. Which was cute in its own sense but lacking in... substance, I suppose? And Disney can (http://youtube.com/watch?v=RSu4hOLYrXk) do (http://youtube.com/watch?v=EyS3weMlxLA) substance (http://youtube.com/watch?v=vdjn_85h1Ow); they just haven't been recently. Oh, and I just remembered the shopping montage in Enchanted. That really irked me.

And... I'll just stop my rant before it gets too long. XD

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I don't think that LKH is capable of writing a good book anymore so I have no hopes for BN. I do have hopes that Sharkbytes is going to provide an awesome snark though.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

The pimping of Peter makes me physcially ill. Someone should send LKH to a therapist to work out her issues. Desiring a 14 year old boy is fucking icky.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

Oh, I totally feel the same way. The deterioration in quality just can't be accounted for in anything but that or a massive nervous breakdown of some sort.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I'm glad! I love the little bunnies.

[moontear.livejournal.com]

:O I know! It always makes me sad when I have to kill them for the sake of completing the bestiary.

[assume-a-virtue.livejournal.com]

SKINWALKER. He's Native American! He's totally going to be some native american boogaboo! COME ON. YOU KNOW IT.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I do know it. I was trying to think of a Native American option and I think you've come up with the perfect bugaboo.

[assume-a-virtue.livejournal.com]

\o/

Probably because I found these two fantastic series with Native American traditions in them! The one is the Mercy Trilogy, by Patricia Briggs, and the second is the Walker Papers, by C.E. Murphy. All the awesome of the first three books of Anita Blake and none of the sex!

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Brother. :)

Yeah, I thought about that too - Giselle is supposed to be a standard Disney heroine who isn't prepared for the unromantic real world, but actually, most Disney heroines had to fight pretty hard for their happy endings and deal with no-win situations and spend years living with daily bummers that they couldn't do anything about. They wouldn't expect complete strangers to drop everything they were doing to help them. And if they'd been discovered in what looked like a heartfelt embrace with some man by that man's girlfriend, I don't think they'd have been surprised if she was unamused.

... okay, admittedly, Ariel would have totally expected everyone to cater to her every whim, but that's not because she's a Disney heroine, it's because she's a spoiled, sheltered rich kid. =]