New BN review

[alucard66.livejournal.com]

 Another review of Blood Noir was put up online not too long ago. As with the PW and RT reviews, it's not a very complimentary one.

I’ll own up to being more than a little naïve when I picked this book up. This is supposed to be a week about romance in Fantasy/Sci-fi and I thought to myself, “Anita Blake has loads of boyfriends; she has to love at least one of them…” Maybe she does and maybe she doesn’t; we will never find an answer in ‘Blood Noir’, a book that makes me want to go to the police and report a case of ‘Wilful abuse and neglect of plot’…
Let’s have a quick look at the plot first as I thought there was a lot of potential here for some cool stuff to happen. Anita and Jason (a were-wolf) take a trip out of town so Jason can say a final goodbye to his terminally ill father. Unfortunately for Jason he’s the spitting image of his cousin, the wayward son of a Governor running for President and target for vampire assassins. A clever plot about mistaken identity looks like it could be on the cards but Hamilton ignores this for nearly the whole book, preferring instead to concentrate on how much sex Anita can have in three hundred and forty pages. This is quite a lot of sex considering how often it is used as an answer to life’s little problems. For example, is your best friend having a crisis in his personal life? Simply agree to his plea for sex (because that’s going to sort everything out isn’t it?) and then let him watch you and your boyfriend play bondage games. Talking of which, unless you’re writing a pornographic novel then I really don’t see the need for the level of detail that Hamilton is prepared to go to. I’m in no way conceited enough to think that this review will come to her attention but if it does, “Ms. Hamilton, we get it! They’re having sex, sometimes they even enjoy it. You really don’t need to tell us how they do it and what they do it with…” I don’t even want to talk about the ‘almost rape’ scene, suffice it to say that there is such a scene and a little part of me died when I read it…
The rest of the book boils down to Anita either having sex with people or getting into situations where her ‘sex power’ attracts the wrong kind of people. It’s like a ‘Carry On’ film but without the humour, especially when security guards (from various agencies) decide that they all want in as well… In fact the only time that Anita doesn’t have sex is because a two day ‘sex bender’ has rendered her physically incapable of the act, she obviously needs to learn to pace herself…
The plot is given the barest acknowledgement throughout the book which makes things difficult if your aim to skim read the sex stuff and get to the story. Anita comes under attack from a very powerful vampire but this seems to have nothing to do with the story and is only there to set up something for a later book. What made me laugh though (a hollow laugh of despair) is that, around forty pages off the end of the book; Hamilton suddenly remembers the ‘mistaken identity’ thing and has to quickly come up with something to address this. It’s rushed and only serves to show the reader what Hamilton could have done with the story if her mind wasn’t on other stuff instead.
I’ve been asked why I put myself through this and all I can really say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time. It’s like watching the aftermath of a natural disaster on TV, painful on the eyes but you just can’t look away…
No more for me though, I’ve done my time and there is a lot more Urban Fantasy out there which is worth looking at. What really bugs me is that this series could be quite an entertaining read if it hadn’t gone in the direction it has.

Two out of Ten

Ten out of Ten if you’re into books where the heroine is so busy having sex that she forgets to take her contraceptive pill…

Lovely. The Harlequin had its fair share of problems but overall it felt like an old-fashioned Anita Blake novel. To say I'm disappointed that Hamilton is returning to the "sex over story" school of thought that dominated her other works is quite the understatement. I think I won't be spending money on this book, which is sad because if done right BN probably would have been a really good read.

On another note, "sex bender"? Ha, I'm surprised Anita didn't have one earlier in the series . . .

Comments

[kessie.livejournal.com]

I'm just going to flick through it at the store and wait for someone to flog it here. :/

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Um, source? I'm only asking because "online" is a really big and scary place.

But oh, lulz -- LKH takes on the presidential erections race. Considering all I know of US politics I learned from The West Wing and watching some Good Morning America (don't ask me why we get it at about 5:30 in the morning here. It's yesterday's news to me) every now and then, it should be interesting as hell.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

http://www.graemesfantasybookreview.com/

[librarista.livejournal.com]

You're knowledge of politics no doubt greatly shadows hers. I'm actually more afraid about the presidential stuff that the sex in this book. Her horrible "erotic" writing I can handle--her opinions on politics will probably make me ill.

[fangedsekhmet.livejournal.com]

"It’s rushed and only serves to show the reader what Hamilton could have done with the story if her mind wasn’t on other stuff instead."

Which sums up neatly why I dropped these books like a stone after Cerulean sins (I think it was that one, I've blocked the memory).

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Same here.
I mean, my gods, does the woman not get it? Does she not realize that her books are getting worse and worse? Is she really surrounded by yesmen every second to the point where no negative review is allowed to come to her attention? This review should be a wake-up call for the author.

[tartful-dodger.livejournal.com]

I feel like the little boy in your icon and its not even fanfic.

[mourning-night.livejournal.com]

So does anybody know if the almost rape scene is like the one in NiC with Micah?

[easol.livejournal.com]

Depends on whether LKH considers it rape or not.

If the dude is short, feminine, slender, long-haired, a vampire or were under thirty (in appearance and/or chronological age), it's just hawt rough sex JUST THE WAY SHE LIKES IT, and she really did want it even if she said no.

If the dude is pudgy, older, macho, human and taller than Whorenita, it's rape.

Betcha it's to demonstrate that rural people are all evil backwards bigot rapist pigs.

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

This reviewer deserves tea and cake for their bravery and clever snark.

[i-open-doors.livejournal.com]

Ten out of Ten if you’re into books where the heroine is so busy having sex that she forgets to take her contraceptive pill…

Hang on there...are we really going down this painful avenue again? What idiot goes through a pregnancy scare and then IMMEDIATELY forgets something like birth control? It's not like she's going to hit a sexual dry spell any time soon...

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

And why is it the pill and not the injection or an IUD? Things that don't have to be thought about again for several months or years. Jeebus.

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

Nice review!

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

I think I'm done with this seriess. Finally. Thanks for posting the review because it will keep me strong should I start to get curious and want to read this.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

Does anyone have the text of the RT two-star review? I can't access it on their site becuase I'm not a subscriber.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

I picked up a copy of RT the last time I was at the book store and found the review. It's nothing as detailed as the one above, just a simple rehash of the "plot". Barely even two paragraphs long.

[easol.livejournal.com]

RIP, Jason's normalcy. *bows head* A moment of silence, please.

"If there be no condoms thou shalt put it in the buttocks!"

Someone PLEASE make an avvie with that on it.

[longtail.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to see Sharkey's comments on BN. Her noble sacrifices into accepting literary torture on our behalf and writing out the book flogs are most wholly appreciated. It's the only way I can keep up with the insanity for the sake of this comm without having to bleach my eyeballs.

I have a feeling that no birth control method could help Whornita anyway. Condoms would just be torn to shreds in her vajayjay which has likely callused and scar tissued into vagina dentata by now. An IUD would be ripped out or punched in since she lurrrrves having her cervix bompity bomped. Anita can't stop to take a pill the same time every day because she's too busy having sex, and any other hormone control like injections would probably just...well, not work. Because the Goddess is using her as a vessel and...oh wait...wrong series...well, ok, not really.

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

It’s like a ‘Carry On’ film but without the humour

GENIUS! GENIUS! GENIUS!

This reviewer is a god/dess among humans.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

Wait ... Anita is rendered incapable of Yet More Shagging by a two-day sex bender. Which means she has to have sex more often than she did in ID (IIRC, that was 9 guys in 48 hours, and she was still fine to go, barring minor tenderness from Requiem's leather pants laces).

I'm scared.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

"Sex bender?" Is that anything like a-? You know what. I don't want to know. That said, I am really looking forward to this. Not as a book to read, but as a book to watch other people read... and headdesk.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

From what I read of the guy's site, he's British -- a bender is...basically, well, here it means you go and get drunk off your face, tits, ass and other bodyparts for a weekend or more. It can also apply to drugs. So a sex bender would be Anita doin' the sex non-stop, and on all channels. (Holy uninentional pun, Batman?)

So really, nothing entirely new.

[thetathx1138.livejournal.com]

Actually, "The Harlequin" made me drop the series for good. If it's not sex, it's really anally-retentive highly detailed explorations of werecreature politics, and while I occasionally found items of interest (I'd like to read a book about Christine the weretiger, who seems to be fleeing serious abuse), honestly beyond a certain point I just don't give a shit. It should have been 150 pages.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Someone on Amazon.com posted the reviews from Publishers Weekly and Romantic Times right here (http://www.amazon.com/Negative-Reviews/forum/FxO1U5Z7T5KIR/TxTD738M6WR786/1/ref=cm_cd_et_md_pl?%5Fencoding=UTF8&cdMsgNo=9&s=books&asin=0425222195&store=books&cdSort=oldest&cdMsgID=MxI30EJGYZHW9I#MxI30EJGYZHW9I).

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

I have several new e-crushes from that thread. "Heather Warren" I love you!

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

...well, I guess the only good thing about BN and Anita leaving the city would be... well, Anita leaving the city? Now I'll have le excusee to think about all the hot sex that is going on behind her back^^ All the fun and games, and people trying to get on with their lives.

J.C. "Richard, mon loupe? She's finally gone! Come on over, we're having a barbecue in my mansion."
RAZ: "Sure, you need anything? Beer, chips,... meat?"
J.C.: "No, please leave Micah out of it. Bring yourself and please get Damien from the spa."
RAZ : I'm on it!

[easol.livejournal.com]

"No, please leave Micah out of it."

Many LOLS!

Can also imagine Richard yelling, "She's gone, boys! BREAK OUT THE SWEATPANTS!"

[cywrain.livejournal.com]

This is a fantastic review. I want to take book recommendations from the reviewer now precisely because she disliked Blood Noir so much.

[ladyniko.livejournal.com]

This makes, what, three professional bad reviews for BN now? Do we think LKH is going to understand what they're saying and gee, get a clue?

I kinda doubt it, since Darla & Jon Boi seem to be shielding her from all the bad reviews & continuing to blow smoke up her ass. :-p

[graesea.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that the PW review was not posted on amazon.com. Does that seem strange to anyone else? I just clicked on one of Charles de Lint's books and the PW review was posted as well as the review from Booklist. I couldn't find a Booklist review on any of LKH's works. It's possible that Booklist (the review print and online magazine from The American Library Association) doesn't send her books out for reviews.

The editorial reviews seem to be nothing more than brief phrases by people who may or may not have read the book.