Blogflog: Rolling the Dice

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

In which we read a touching tale of identity confusion and indecision.

Entry: Rolling the Dice

Link: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/07/rolling-dice.html

Seventeen pages yesterday. Fourteen today. Still not

King?

done.

Same thing.

So many choices. I am lost. Death has come at last. We stand bloodied and unbowed with the gore of our enemies on our face,

OUR face?

and I am content.

Blood makes such a wonderful facial.

Merry would wish it were otherwise, but neither of us is bothered by what we've done, only trying to figure out what to do next.

Jigga-WHAT? Look, Laurell. Merry is a character who has just killed other fictional characters. It makes sense for her to feel guilty or not feel guilty as her personality and the situation demand. It does NOT make sense for you to feel guilty about telling a make-believe story!

I can feel the end,

Not surprising. Anita and Merry spend a lot of time feeling guys' ends.

as if I have reached into a dark space, and am reaching as far as my finger tips can stretch. I feel something at the very limit of my reach. I know it is the end, but I cannot see it. I cannot feel all of it. I do not know it's shape complete, but only in the few pieces I can touch. A corner here, a smooth edge there . . . It's there, I can feel it, but it's just out of reach, no matter how far I stretch my fingers, my hand, my arm, my shoulder.

So you're getting closer to the end but you still don't know what the end IS. Right. Got it.

By the way, "its" is the possessive. "It's" means "it is" or "it has." Please learn the difference.

I shove myself against the hole,

Again, something that happens all the time in Merry and Anita books.

and try to grab a hand hold so I can drag it out of the dark and into the light.

Um...you can't drag a handhold into the light. Handholds are fixed to the sides of things; you use them to climb up or down, or to pull yourself out of somewhere. A handhold that comes off in your hand is of no use whatsoever.

I am no longer worried about what shape it is, or what it may be, only that it is the end. I long for the end of this book. I beat against these last few pages like the bars of some cage. I want out!

Translation: "I don't give a shit HOW the book ends by now--I'm bored! I wanna write about Anita, not Merry!"

Thank you, Laurell. We appreciate the advance warning about the true quality of this book.

I've been trapped in fairie long enough,

That's Faerie, with a capital F.

and I want concrete under my feet, and buildings looming above me.

LKH: I want St. Louis!

Humanity has never looked so good to Merry and me as it does in this moment.

Humanity--the new Lunchables. Seriously, doesn't it sound as if Merry and LKH are both longing for humanity because they aren't human?

If we could only decide which way to turn, what choices to make, but they are such final choices. Make a mistake here and Merry will be paying for it, for the rest of her days.

She's a fictional character. The only way she'll pay for ANYTHING is if you write things that way. And we all know you're not going to make your Merry Sue suffer.

For me as a writer, it will either simplify my life or complicate into a Gordian knot, that no sword will be able to cut through. I have to be so careful not to make choices that will simply make my job easier, but hurt the series itself.

You mean like killing Merry to end the series that bores you to tears?

I'm so tired, so very tired. Hard to think clearly.

*puzzled* When did you ever think clearly?

I broke for a few minutes to do the physical therapy for my ankle. I'd hoped that would help me choose, but I've sat down and feel just as muddle headed. I can't decide. I just can't decide. So frustrating. But I'm so tired, I don't trust myself.

Oh, kwitcherbitchin'. Stop whining about how hard this decision is. You've clearly run out of inspiration and you're bored sick with the book, so you have to work through that and make some choices when you're feeling uninspired.

Roll some dice. Flip a coin. And get GOING.

When I say tired, I don't mean physically. Any writer that's really tackled a big project will know what I mean, when I say that my mind is tired. That part of me that gets used when I write, is tired.

Yeah, I guess even one-handed typing gets boring after a while.

I need something to recharge the batteries.

...of your vibrator?

Sometimes, just a few minutes of doing something else is enough. Sometimes, you need to walk away for a little longer, but I'm so close to the end that I don't want to quite. I could finish today, damit, if I could only think my way clear.

If you only had some self-discipline.

I'm going to step away from the computer for a little while. I'd promised the kiddo a trip out today, if I finished the book, but maybe I'll do the trip now, and hope to come back to the book refreshed. Or, I'll come back to the computer with the book dead in my hands, having lost all the momentum I've fought for in the last two days.

I'm betting on the latter. Because, seriously, this book is so dead that it might as well be called Nosferatu.

It's like rolling the dice in Vegas. If you keep going when you're hot, sometimes you break the bank, but sometimes you roll that one time too many and you loose it all. But until the dice hit the table, you don't know whether it will be lucky seven, or snake eyes.

I suspect that the dice will bounce off the table, roll under the carpet and not be seen again until late September, at least. And that we can count on Laurenita bewailing her exhaustion, the misery she shares with Merry and the difficulty of making a decision until then.

Comments

[recrudescence.livejournal.com]

I love when people eschew contractions in order to sound more dramatic.

[easol.livejournal.com]

It's so teen melodrama!

[slayra.livejournal.com]

She certainly seems inspired to write blog posts... such sorrow, such WOE-ness!!!! Oh, poor Laurell. WOE, woe, woe!!! Why can't she quit her whining and just starts working? That's what everyone else does. If she was a regular employee, she would have been fired already. :p

This book will be so bad, it will be worth the money it costs just to see how awful it is. O___o

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I bet it'll make Blood Noir look like a masterpiece by comparison.

[ravynwolf.livejournal.com]

Cry more Emo kid.

I can't believe she isn't embarrassed to post crap like this. I coudln't understand half of it, and the other half just make me go WTF?

[kimbearlysue.livejournal.com]

Holy crap! She is so melodramatic. And over what? 300 pages of bad porn?
If she worked on her book as much as she wrote in her blog, she would have been done a month ago. STOP WHINING LKH!

[easol.livejournal.com]

"I suspect that the dice will bounce off the table, roll under the carpet and not be seen again until late September, at least."

I suspect the dice will be sucked into La Petite Fissure de Ruine and never be seen again, unless Laumerita needs a new sex toy.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

BEST USE OF FRENCH EVER

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Sigh.
To LKH: Okay, bitch, you know what? You lose. I'm in a similar predicament with my novel: I can feel the ending, I just need to get there. It's like running in a dream in slow motion, with your spine tingling and frustration exploding and all that. Yep, we get that.
Are you still bitching about your ankle?

Bitch, I have fibromyalgia. I'm tired and hurting all the time. It doesn't end for me. And I don't complain half as much as you do, because I can write through the symptoms. Get the fuck over yourself. You've complained, that's nice. Now stop it. If you don't want to write the series anymore, then end it. For fucks' sake.

And for the last time your characters are NOT REAL PEOPLE. GAH.

/end rant

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

*carefully hugs rosefox8*
I have lupus and, like you, fibromyalgia. 24/7 pain and exhaustion...while LKH bitches about a bloody sprained ankle.
If we were really careful, and took turns, do you think we could beat some sense into her without hurting ourselves? *is willing to give it the old college try*

[kethlenda.livejournal.com]

OK, so writer's block is like some kind of metaphysical fisting...

[easol.livejournal.com]

*snorts Coke all over keyboard*

[easol.livejournal.com]

When she starts babbling about "our enemies" and "our faces," does anyone else imagine her clutching a Whorenita paperback and mumbling, "Yesss, the nassty negative readerses, they wants to stop our sex life, precious... but we won't let them, precious!"?

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Our face. Not plural faces. Singular. In the sacred bond between an author and her creation, they share one heart, one mind, one soul, one depthless vagina.

[longtail.livejournal.com]

Apparently the "ending" fell down behind the sofa and is just -that- far out of reach.

She needs a Gopher! (http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/Gopher.html)

If she can't decide on what to do with her series, I am not surprised. She couldn't decide whether or not to start eating breakfast regularly, and had to go ask Jonboi once whether she should stop working for the day.

[polymexina.livejournal.com]

heh. maybe merry just earned her red wings?

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

A friend on mine on AIM observed that Laurell talks about her characters as if she and they were all part of a MPD system.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

MPD?

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

LOLDRAMA.

"We stand bloodied and unbowed with the gore of our enemies on our face."

Am I the only one who winced while reading that? That sentence is so ugly!

[jamoche]

"bloodied and unbowed" gets a lot of Google hits, mostly British. I suspect it's a quote from somewhere; it has a WWII Blitz-era feel to it, but her particular phrasing is her own clunky creation.

It's also the title of a documentary on the Vancouver punk scene. (Please, keep her far away from Vancouver punk).

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

Lord, but that woman is burned out. Among other problems, anyway.

What is it with published writers these days? Why the heck don't they have a goddamn ending before they begin? I -always- know what the end of the book/series is going to be before I start writing. I -have- to. Trying to start a book without an ending is like trying to get directions without a destination. How the heck can you possibly get to where you're going if you don't have the first clue where that even is?

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

Yea, I wonder the same thing sometimes. Stephen King often says he likes to write when he just has a "kernel of information," and the story spreads from there, usually without any vision of the ending. I think he's one of the few people who can pull off writing good books with that method. Who knows, maybe he's got a built-in mental compass that tells him the best path to take in his stories. I would like one of those. :o

[zgirl714.livejournal.com]

You know, maybe she should run with going towards a non-violent spell or something and get it over with. Merry doesn't want to fight so just listen to your invisible friend and stop complaining.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

The problem is, she just says "Merry doesn't want to fight" because she has no idea how to write the battle. Oh, and because she wants to look gothy and cool by coming across like a "violent" person who has to control her "rage". :p

STFU Laurell!!

[prettyfate.livejournal.com]

Has anyone else noticed that she is so "uninspired" to write anything in her TWO series but she always has inspiration for her blog? And I'm tired of hearing her bitch about her "job"...if you don't like it I know for a fact McDonald's is hiring! There are authors out there that put out 3+ books a year and don't bitch about it. Nora Roberts for example. Not only does she put out her books but writes under J. D. Robb. She puts out book after book. But she also sees it for exactly what it is...a job. She sits in front of her computer for 8 hours a day and works. When that 8 hours is up, work's done. She doesn't care if Eve's about to crack the case or not. When the timer goes off, show's over. LKH just needs to retire before she completely ruins both series.

Re: STFU Laurell!!

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

Yes. Nora Roberts is professional like whoa. She writes her books, she does the promotion, she's active in the writing community, she seems to enjoy her life--none of the whiny !ANGST! stuff.

La Nora is my personal hero.

[snipervalentine.livejournal.com]

I feel like I need a Silkwood scrub-down after reading that. Ugh.

[easol.livejournal.com]

On a small sidenote, can anyone explain to me why the hell LKH is still writing Merry if it's such a bore, such drudgery, and all she really wants to do is get back to her more psychopathic, violent, abusive Sue?

Why doesn't she just wrap up the series and END it?

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Money-she gets paid a lot of money to write her Slutty Sue

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

Poor bloody Trinity. "No, we can't go out now, Mom has to finish her porn. Oh, wait, the porn isn't flowing, I guess we can go now, it's not like I enjoy spending time with my own child or anything."

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

as if I have reached into a dark space, and am reaching as far as my finger tips can stretch. I feel something at the very limit of my reach. I know it is the end, but I cannot see it. I cannot feel all of it. I do not know it's shape complete, but only in the few pieces I can touch. A corner here, a smooth edge there . . . It's there, I can feel it, but it's just out of reach, no matter how far I stretch my fingers, my hand, my arm, my shoulder.
It might just be me, but reading that bit put me in mind of a veterinary medicine show on TV, with a woman (who, surprisingly, looks a lot like Laurell) buried to the shoulder in a cow's vagina, trying manfully to deliver a slimy, meconium snorting, uncooperative calf.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Yerrrrrggg, now you have me thinking of "All Creatures Great and Small." It sounds just like James Herriot's descriptions of the above activity...

O, WOE is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[cherose.livejournal.com]

Hi, all:

I'd be willing to place a small bet that this next MerrySlut book is going to be so awful that it will make "It was a dark and stormy night" look like SHAKESPEARE in comparison.

I repeat: lkh is having loud, noisy, VERY pulic nervous breakdown. She needs to step AWAY from the computer, and RUN somewhere without the boytoy, the entourage and the legions of adoring troos. BY HERSELF. WITHOUT her cell phone and the rest of her com devices. Of course, since I'm NOT entirely convinced that she could survive without SOMEONE there to run the can opener, I really don't think that THAT scenario is going to happen.

Pity. . . . . we ALL could use the time off!

Blessings,

-,'-,'-,'--@

[http://users.livejournal.com/_argustar/]

You know, given her love for all things trouser-snake, perhaps using snake eyes as a metaphor wasn't the greatest plan.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Did anyone else laugh themselves sick when they read the blog? I've never seen such purple prose in a blog before.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_argustar/]

::raises her hand::

I have to say that it made me want to tell her to crank up the Linkin Park and that she needed to remember that when cutting, it's down the street and not across the lane.

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is that she's just started taking herself much more seriously lately.

It's a problem. No one should take themselves seriously. Anita didn't use to, did she? Sigmund the stuffed penguin can vouch for it.

Sad, sad thing, this kind of disease...