Blog Flog - "Mama Mia"

[naeko.livejournal.com]

"Mama Mia."

I know I -just- did a flog, but I couldn't resist this one. It's too silly XD

Today was the first day that I got that endorphin rush from the writing since I sat back down to the new Anita book being the priority project.

Clumsy writing aside, it's nice to see that she IS capable of happiness.

It felt pretty darn good. In fact, by lunch I had twelve pages and was done for the day. Very cool. In honor of it being summer, and me being done so early, we went out to lunch, then a movie. Trinity, Mary, and I, had wanted to see Mama Mia, and neither of our husbands were keen on it. So it was a girl’s afternoon at the movies. I mean that girl’s part because there were like three men in the entire theatre. It was pretty full, too. One young man with his girlfriend, and a couple of older husbands.

"Excuse me, sir? Are you an *pause for dramatic effect* older husband?"
"Why yes, young man, I am. And so is that gentlemen over there!"
"Excellent! I'd like to bring you to the movies with my girlfriend."

I guess all the rest of the men were in seeing The Dark Knight. I think Jon and I are going to wait for a few days. The crowds look pretty serious.

WHY SO SRS? The crowds have got their hair in tight buns and are all holding lectures on, "how to get the most out of your pursed lips."

Mama Mia was very fun. Meryl Streep was great. In fact, pretty much everyone was great. There are some huge dance numbers that are entirely too much fun.

O-ho! Watch out! Those dance numbers are too much fun! Anytime now the Serious Crowds are going to bust in and order them to stop because things are getting too silly.

I haven’t this much beef cake in a movie that could dance, act, and have fun in a long time.

The movie could dance and sing? So all those intermission videos that show the film reel dancing happily across the screen were actually live action!?

The casting for the father’s was spot on. Pierce Brosnon was especially good. I didn’t know he could sing. I admit that there were moments when I felt I had too much testosterone for this movie.

She sprouted a mustache and a beard, respectively.

It is a woman’s movie, but it’s not a chick flick. By that I mean, a lot of supposedly chick flicks leave me cold.

Stop sitting under the air conditioning vents.

I just don’t get them.

I'm sure there are a lot of things you don't get, dear.

How to Make an American Quilt, left me puzzled. I usually feel that way about those kinds of movies, but Mama Mia was actually enjoyable all the way through. It’s interesting, what kinds of movies are marketed for women and men.

Watch out folks! She's about to drop some knowledge!

I guess there’s no better example than Mama Mia and The Dark Knight. Like I said, I haven’t seen that one, yet, but even though I enjoyed the movie today, I was still a little puzzled. Not much, but a little. As much as I love my husband, and apparently, enjoy being married...

She makes it sound like Jon tells her every morning when she wakes up, "Okay, Laurell- now remember, you enjoy being married. It's not a burden, you LIKE it. Now repeat after me, 'I, Laurell, love my furry husband and will never let him get a real job. I will support him forever because I enjoy being married.'"

...since I’ve done it twice; I still don’t believe that the end all, be all for a woman is finding that perfect man and "getting" him to marry her.

She just believes the end-all for women is finding several men and "getting" them. Period.

First of all, there is no perfect man, just as there’s no perfect woman. But, in this movie Meryl Streep’s character has done well on her own. She’s operated her own business, raised a daughter, and she’s doing okay. She’s not wasting away for anyone. I liked that.

Wait, didn't she just say she was puzzled? By what? She liked that Streep's character didn't need a husband, but she was still puzzled. By what? Now I'm puzzled.


Another interesting thing is the daughter, Sophie’s, desire to find her dad. Her belief that somehow that will make her life complete. I met my own biological dad three times. The last time I saw him, I was six, and it was my mother’s funeral. He had no part in my life then, or since, and I haven’t missed him. I’ve never felt the lack of a father.

Your writing says otherwise.

I felt the lack of my mother, because I knew and loved her, but my "father" was just some guy who married my mother, fathered a child with her, and then divorced her. Other than the genetic material, my father had very little impact on my life. We probably wouldn’t know each other if we passed on the street.

Oh, he'd probably know who you are. He'd probably cover half his face with his hand and pretend he didn't see you so he didn't have to admit that his genetics turned out your last few books.

My life is complete, I don’t need to find the owner of the ejaculation that helped make me.

...Eugh.

That’s almost a direct quote from the movie, the main character says, that she won’t be displaced, or outdone by an ejaculation, when the "fathers" show up. The story book ending, is just that story book.

Er. What story books is she reading? None of the story books I read as a kid dealt with ejaculation.

In real life, the long lost father is usually better long and lost.

*finger guns* Oh yeah. He's long, all right. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

If you have the feeling that you’ve misplaced a part of yourself, then by all means go searching, but I find that fathers, mothers, that perfect job, that perfect house, whatever you think will fill up that empty space inside you, it’s not about anything outside yourself, it’s all about the inside part.

It's about your liver and your kidneys, and possibly your left lung. But not the right lung, oh no. The right lung is a selfish bastard who never does anything!

You’ve got to fix what’s inside, before the outside world can help.

Perform self-surgery on that damned, ungrateful lung.

You want to find what’s missing, look in the mirror.

Is she insinuating that I'm a vampire?

Comments

[spittingfish.livejournal.com]

I could quote all the times I seriously LOLed at your sporks but I'll just go back to the first that made me laugh:

It's too silly XD

I just imagined someone walking up to LKH and being like, "U so silly! U haz ma LOLZ!"

And also, is "the owner of the ejaculation", now an appropriate substitute for father? I'll tell you who'll be appreciating their father's day next year...

[naeko.livejournal.com]

hahha Now I'm picturing one of those elegantly restrained father's day cards ruined by Laurell's sentiment:

You have always been there for me, even when I didn't make it easy for you. I'm not very good with words, but I'd like to say, Happy Owner of The Ejaculation day, dad!.

Owner???

[cherose.livejournal.com]

Hi!

At least she doesn't refer to him as the sperm donor. Aside from THAT, he doesn't WON the ejcaulation once he's finished, his hapless recipient does.

WHEN did lkh get a degree in psychology? It's too bad that she's now trying to be clinical and philosophical as well.

Blessings,

-,'-,'-,'--@

[shimmerfox.livejournal.com]

"Trinity, Mary, and I, had wanted to see Mama Mia, and neither of our husbands were keen on it."

Trinity's married now? How did I miss this?

"Another interesting thing is the daughter, Sophie’s, desire to find her dad. Her belief that somehow that will make her life complete. I met my own biological dad three times. The last time I saw him, I was six, and it was my mother’s funeral. He had no part in my life then, or since, and I haven’t missed him. I’ve never felt the lack of a father.

Your writing says otherwise."

And Loudly. Snirk.

"You’ve got to fix what’s inside, before the outside world can help."

This the reason to never trust psychiatrists. They're outside of you they could never understand the inter-darkity-dark. Instead you can better deal with your issues by ignoring them and writing "edgy" novels.

Great flogging of a quite interesting blog; the woman really needs to shorten her paragraphs, your spacing spacing made it much more legible.

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

The casting for the father’s was spot on.
The father's what precisely? Ejaculation?

Excellent flogging! *hands over black forest cake*

[naeko.livejournal.com]

*snorts juice at casting ejaculation*

ahhahhha

yay cake! *noms heartily*

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I love how her definition of "chick flick" is "anything featuring female protagonists that might force me to think".

[mystickiwi.livejournal.com]

When I saw that Laurell, her daughter, and another female friend went to see a movie that wasn't billed as 'ACTION!VIOLENCE!TESTOSTERONE!NOT GIRLY!' I knew it was a matter of lines before the "I dont like chick flicks, i'm a guy, rawr!" thing was brought up.
She held off longer than I thought she would...

[bludflower.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. Mark that one down on the Official LKH List of Gender Clichés. Funny, my dad loved action movies AND chick flicks. My boyfriend does too. What's that make them? Women? Gay?

[gwynethfar.livejournal.com]

It's a musical with a plot concocted specifically to fit around ABBA songs.

Get a grip, LKH.

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't cast Dark Knight as a guy movie, it's a COMIC BOOK MOVIE. I'm a girl and I've seen every Batman movie that's been on the big screen since I was a kid, I grew up with Batman and wouldn't just think of it as a guy thing.

When the trailer first came out, I was the one who turned to my boyfriend (the Wow and D'n'D playing geek that he is) and said "We're seeing that." Mama Mia I found annoying by the trailers alone, despite the fact that I like musicals for the most part.

Does that make me a guy? No, it makes me a fan. Laurel, please feel free to get over yourself any day now...

[novadivine.livejournal.com]

Word. I'm exactly the same. I saw the stage version of Mamma Mia and love ABBA generally, but I have no desire to see the film. However, I'm going to see the Dark Knight tonight and can't wait!

By the same token, I wouldn't necessarily call Mamma Mia a women's movie, as I know plenty of gay men who loved the stage version and have probably already seen the film.

See, Laurell? Women can see a "guy" movie and men can see a "woman" movie. It doesn't make either more of a guy or more of a girl than the other.

[gorgeousnerd]

I'm going to nitpick and point out that it's Mamma Mia, but really, I think not knowing that the title has that extra 'm' is probably one of the more innocuous misspellings LKH has done in her time. The point where she talked about the casting for the father’s bothered me a little more because I think she's trying to convey that there are three potential fathers in the story, and it drives me nuts when she can't properly convey a simple statement.

Most of all, I'm getting really sick of her "I'm so manly" talk. I like musicals okay, but even though I'm a woman, I saw a midnight show of The Dark Knight and probably won't see Mamma Mia in the theater because I'll be seeing TDK more. That doesn't mean I have more or less testosterone than another woman or that I'm more "guy-like". It means I like comic book movies.

And don't even get me started on her makeup and heels discussions. *shudder*

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

makeup and heels discussions? what, you mean like in her books, where Merita has to wear more makeup than a clown and skinny spike stilettos to be viewed as a woman?

damn. *writes to doctors for a sex change, since this girl is apparently a guy and they just didn't realize it yet*

[kd-lalala.livejournal.com]

Does the woman ever just sit back and enjoy something without analyzing it?

You'd think, what with the fact she has to give every single solitary thing she does DEEP DARK THOUGHT, she'd be so mentally and emotionally exhausted by now she'd be an empty shell...

Oh, waitaminute...

[easol.livejournal.com]

I think she thinks that is what being DEEP is -- constantly seeing TEH MEANINGZ in everything around you. I'm shocked Whorenita hasn't started doing this, instead of searching for the personal discomfort and annoyances in everything.

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

The blog - so much fail. Your flog - made of win.

I saw Dark Knight at midnight and I'm a chick. And I plan to see Mamma Mia in theatres. Oh, I'm so confused about my sexuality!

I just fear the entry when she finally sees The Dark Knight...

[easol.livejournal.com]

Oh, it'll be more of the same -- she's so MANLY and strong that she likes this instead of fluffy sparkly chick flicks, grrr raaarggghh flex nonexistant biceps wave nonexistent penis. She'll then ogle Christian Bale.

Then she'll ramble about how she was born so angry and darkity-dark, and Batman's tortured nature appeals to her inner RAAAAAAAGE and DAAARRRRRRKKNESSSSSS, unlike most women who are made of rhinestones and cotton candy. Then she'll remind us that she channels all her RAAAAAGE and DAAAAARRRRKNNESSSSS into her writing, and Anita's life is so dark and dangerous and darkity-dark, etc.

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

I wonder if those older husbands were each other's older husband; the gay bits of the internet have been going mad over Mamma Mia (they want to see Colin Firth and Dominic Cooper in bathing suits as much as anyone).

As a woman, I would much rather go see Dark Knight. And I'd like to tell Laurell that I also like wearing pink, and sparkly jewelry. Chomp on that, Ms. Darkity-Dark.

[jamoche]

I don't like "chick flicks" but that doesn't mean I'm suffering from a hormone imbalance. Not that I'd count Mamma Mia as one; it's a musical.

Reminds me of all the PR that boasts "women are going to see $ACTION_MOVIE because we added $STRONG_FEMALE_CHARACTER!" No. Women are going to see it because of the hot guys who aren't just interchangeable cardboard cutouts like in the average "chick flick".

[slayra.livejournal.com]

I thought she was female. But maybe I'm wrong. What really makes me go all WTF? on her blogs is that she really thinks about everything carefully so she is sure she isn't doing anything too... girly. That's way over the top. What's wrong with liking "chick flicks"? I confess I don't like them, but I know some men who enjoy them. LKH just gets it all wrong... so freaking weird! :p

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT.

Isn't she the one who WHINES every Father's Day about how she doesn't have a dad? But she's "never felt the lack of a father"?

....Shut the fuck up, Laurell.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Well, we're expected to forget all past blogs when she is dispensing Teh Great Sexy Wisdom!

[kisstheground.livejournal.com]

i'm confused. i'm all kinds of girly and want to see dark knight DESPERATELY and have no desire whatsoever to see mamma mia.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

You're secretly a guy.









That likes to be pretty.

[popelizbet.livejournal.com]

I'm almost willing to bet that she meant "older husbands" - with Laurell's usual utter lack of language subtlety to mean "a gay couple" - i.e., she knew they were gay, and if they weren't she'd say "an older husband and wife" or "an older couple", but instead of figuring out a clear way to indicate "The two people in the movie were gay, together, and advanced in age", she just kind of cherry-picked both and then made no sense.

"And then made no sense" bout sums her up, though.

[easol.livejournal.com]

That "older husbands" thing confused me too, because when I think of that, I think of older dudes wearing a wedding ring but with no wife in sight. Why not just say "older gay couples"? Very confusing.

Maybe she doesn't want to actually say they are gay, because that means they would not be attracted to her. Same reason she doesn't call Byron gay even though he keeps dropping hints heavy as stone slabs.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__fantine/]

Someone just email her a penis already. She clearly wants one.
I'd love to see both the Dark Knight and Mamma Mia. My brother is a manly guy who wants to go see MM. I'm a girly-girl ballerina and a gamer. So, LKH: Am I your interpretation of a guy, or am I your interpretation of a girl?

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

I'm a woman and would love to see both movies as well. It's ironic that LKH claims to be breaking gender boundaries, and she's such a non-conformist to the modern sterotype of women...yet she holds very rigid definitions of the genders. "Women are this and men are that, and there is no in-between or any deviation"...in accordance with the holy word of the Dark Diety.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

"Oh, he'd probably know who you are. He'd probably cover half his face with his hand and pretend he didn't see you so he didn't have to admit that his genetics turned out your last few books."

That does bring up an interesting point. Does any relative of LKH want to stand up and rejoice that they share genes with this particular genetic disaster? It's like someone pointing out that one of their relatives is a Darwin Award.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Lookit me! Lookit me! I watch MAN MOVIES which means I rack up six manly points, and I disdain those icky chick flicks which bring me six more! I might as well have a penis! I wish I had a penis! Biological men, cower before me because I'm more repulsed by girly things than you are! Nyah nyah!

[longtail.livejournal.com]

After reading this over a few times, I really don't have any disagreements on the points she was trying to make. It just makes me boggle that she's a professional writer and I used to enjoy her writing. This blog looks like it was written by a fifth grader. LKH would never have made it without being forced to bow to her editors before. It's a pity they can't force her to do it again, because she can't even write an informal movie review coherently to save her life.

Great flogging though.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

OMG, this is what happens when I leave the net for a while. I miss out on all the good flogs. Ohhhh, having seen the play Momma Mia, i have a few points to make (and I'm sure the movie isn't too far off from the play).

1. I am not a huge fan of Chick Flicks. Now, I don't know how others define a chick flick, but I call romances or those romantic comedies chick flicks. Silly little movies were the underdog girl gets the hot guy in the end is a chick flick to me. There are a few I like, but I love the more manly horror movies. Yeah baby, that's the stuff.

2. The play was a great production that had a wonderful storyline and lots of fun romance. I am surprised it didn't go right over her head. The story is basically, a girl is getting married. She wants her father to be there. There are three men it can be. Only one is her mom's one true love. She doesn't tell her mom or the guys why they are there and all three think they are the father and will walk her down the aisle. The whole story is to figure out who is the father, will the wedding go off without a hitch, and will the mom reconcile with the one guy she never forgot (who may or may not be the father). I don't think I ruined it for anyone. I'm not telling you the ending.

3. She never got over her father not being there. I don't know the whole story, but I always thought her father distanced himself after her mom died. Now, it looks like they were never married, or divorced soon after. I dont' think she ever let him go and resents that he wasn't there. The whole ejaculation thing just says bitter.

ok, gotta eat dinner.

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

Would somebody explain to me what the blazes constitutes a "chick flick", anyway?

And at the risk of being one more voice in a large crowd, I and my female best friend went to see The Dark Knight. No guys, just us. And we wore makeup, too. Just to confuse you, Laurell! (*bwahahaha*)