lkh_lashouts | Storm Tossed Blogflog

deadroman.livejournal.com posting in

My first flog... don't hurt me.

It's about LKH brooding after a STORM. She delivers us poetic nuggets of darkness that surely rival Bulwer-Lytton's... ~~florid rubbish~~ dramatic prose?

http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/07/storm-tossed.html

Storm Tossed

LKH in bold.

I woke up at 1:00 AM with a roll of thunder that shook the house. One window shaking thunder roll I could have gone back to sleep after, but not concussion after concussion.

-- Nice sentence structure, dude! I had to read the last one three times before I could make any sense of it. *twitches*

It sounded like the damn storm was parked over the house.

-- Yeah, damn storm! It must be one of those malevolent cartoon rainclouds from Looney Tunes that only rain on certain characters to piss them off.

LKH's house:

By 3:00 I was just trying not to toss and turn enough to wake Jon. He was sleeping just fine. I guess it’s fair, the last round of storms woke him. I guess we’re taking turns being on watch.

-- On watch for WHAT?!

By 4:00 I promised myself that if I was still wide awake at 5:00 I’d get up. I spent the next forty-five minutes planning the quietest way to get dressed and ready to go downstairs.

-- It's important to be as quiet as possible when there's a huge rainstorm battering the windows and roof tiles. =_= Jon might wake up to Laurell pulling on her.. her what? Bunny slippers and spiked leather bra. But the cracks of thunder? Nahh, that won't bother him at all. It's so nice of Laurell to care so much for Jon and his beauty sleep.

The last fifteen minutes was spent waiting for the clock to hit the hour. Then, finally, it was time. I could get up.

-- The clock strikes and she rises out of the ashen tomb of a stormy night into the dawn of a new day! *gasp* It's horrifying!

I’m downstairs now. I managed to get dressed without waking Jon, so he can sleep until the alarm goes off. No reason for both of us to watch the sky lighten to blue. I started to write, no reason for both of us to

-- No reason for Jon. PERIOD.

watch dawn stretch across the sky,

-- Ohh, the sky lightening, ohh the dawn stretching! It's orgasmic, poetic writing!

but that’s not what’s happening.

-- :O What a stunning sentence. I am so curious to know what could possibly be happening now. Really, Laurell, you are a mystery wrapped in a enigma stuffed into a gothic elastic catwoman suit.

The sky is growing blue, as if the black of night fades to blue. It’s not like night leaves and day comes, but simply the light grows, and color steals back into the world.

-- No wai, I've never seen a sunrise before!

The only positive note I can find in all this, is that I have the house to myself. Except for the dogs,

-- What about Jon? Or did she count him as one of the dogs? Or does he not count at all since he is sleeping?

who seemed puzzled that it was still dark when I took them outside. Even Phouka seemed more disoriented than normal, and I know it’s not the darkness, since she’s now completely blind. It’s probably the rain from the storm. Darla and I decided a few months back that it washes away scent trails that Phouka must use to find her way around.

I can see the road now. It’s shiny and black, almost liquid with the remains of the storm.

-- Lol, "liquid with the remains of the storm." Doesn't this imply that the remains of the storm somehow made or caused the street to become shiny and black... For example: "the night sky bright with the light of the moon" or "my boyfriend drunk with a bottle of Baileys."
Please correct me if I'm wrong. That phrase is messed up! I know there is something wrong with it and it's making me grind my teeth.
Plus, storms do not have "remains!" That word has me thinking of half-devoured antelope carcasses and feces. I totally see a shiny and black tar pit (the liquid street) filled with body parts and, you know, "remains." I think the word Laurell was looking for is "debris."

The grass and trees are that vivid swimming green

-- Go, adjectives! GO! Multiply and be merry! Attack the unpoetic masses!

that says you’ve either just had a storm, or you’re going to. The sky has skipped blue, and looks white. The world looks washed clean by the storm. Right now, I feel sort of bright-eyed and ahead of the day.

-- She... she's happy?

Sometime today that feeling will begin to fade

-- OH. XD

like the color of the sky as darkness will find it and begin to suck the color away.

-- Can you get any more darkity dark and brooding? Let me try...

"like the wet, bright, dawn as it is enveloped by the darkness that creeps like a dark creeping thing."

"like the blue sky's color when it is sucked away into blackness as though by a bloodthirsty vampire."

"like the color of the sky as darkness spills all over bringing rain, like one of the Anita's orgasms."

:/

Bright-eyed will turn to bleary-eyed, and my body will wonder where all that sleep I didn’t get has gone.

-- Wait... your body will wonder what happened to something that you didn't even get?
That makes sense. Sometimes I wonder why I am still hungry after not having eaten those pancakes I never made.

But until then . . . I’m going to eat breakfast and hit the office early.

-- *prays*

****edit: Please excuse me if you read this post with a number of errors intact. I fixed it all up. :)