Laurell's very hard job: comic book follies

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

Because you demanded it, (really, we didn't) the ISB brings you the next wacky installment of Anita Blake's adventures in 2-D: Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: The Laughing Corpse: Book Two: Necromancer #1.   Or better known by its underground title, Anita Blake: Some Girl Who Knows a Guy Who Hung Out This One Time With a Vampire.   Now with an alternate cover featuring Wolverine!  (Note that he doesn't actually appear in the comic, as Marvel felt they needed to explain so on said cover.  Frankly, I think Mr. Overexposed might have perked up the issue.  He's the best at what he does, after all.)



The regular cover is a hoot; Jean Claude can not rock the sexy when he looks like a pale imitation of Cher from afar.  Not to say that Cher isn't sexy in her own way, but let's hope we won't be seeing him in that frisky number she wore on the aircraft carrier.   I don't think our eyes can take it.

We do, however, get to see the (in?)famous penguin bath, after zombie slush got all over them.   I always remember thinking when I first read this, "Those must be some cheap-ass toys."   I dunno; maybe I just expect stuffed toys to not fall apart after a few hours in water.  And maybe I felt bad that they had been so brutally spattered in the first place.  No, I did feel bad; they didn't ask to be in the line of fire.   Even if they hadn't fallen apart, did she expect them to even get clean, soaking in that water?

Three pages of lengthy, useless dialogue!   Ah, Laurell, you have yet to fail us.

And yes, even Chris knows any mention of Anita's "slim hips" is hysterical considering no artist seems willing or able to draw them.  Granted, as of late they've looked reasonably toned, and less like Honeybaked Hams, but it's still funny.   I suspect this is a general problem in comics: no woman has normal legs.  Or breasts.  Or in some cases, proper crotch placement.

I can't say I remember the whole exchange with the thugs that prompted Anita's "I Know Guns" speech, but I have to say I can't stop snickering at how utterly STUPID it sounds.  Big guns do bad things, small gun...not so bad things.  Wow.   I'm pretty sure if you hold the muzzle next to anyone's nuts, it means you'll be kissing them good-bye.   And if she wasn't holding her gun there, then I think all she can blame "possible soreness" on is her bad aim.

“I know what you're thinking- "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

(I can admit that the quote is easy to screw up.  But seriously: did no one notice that, as they wrote the comic script?  Did no one say, "Uhm, I think you misquoted.  Maybe we should fix that, so Anita doesn't look so dumb?"

Yeah, likely.)

Comments

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

I loved this so much.

Assuming she’s quoting Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry–which seems like a safe bet, since she drops a ham-handed reference to the same last issue–that is not the line. And not only is she getting the “quote” wrong, she’s getting the quote wrong on a line that every single person in America knows by heart. In fact, it’s the kind of line that you’d have to actively work to get wrong, like if she said “Use the Force, Bruce” or “You want the facts? You can’t handle the facts!”

And that’s Anita Blake, folks: Actively working to get it wrong.

I just said, "Use the Force, Bruce!" to my husband. Who was confused. Because he is not named Bruce.

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

Now I'm thinking of other possible Anita-isms.

"Hasta la vista, toots!"

"Where's the meat?"

"Show me the cash!"

[othellia.livejournal.com]

She's actually quoted Yoda before and got that wrong as well. I want to find the blog she did it in, but I don't have the time to wade through it all...

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

But seriously: did no one notice that, as they wrote the comic script?

I'd go with the alternative explanation: They did, but knowing just how long it would take for them to convince Laurell she's wrong about something or that readers will pick it up and that it needs to be changed, they figured it wasn't worth the hassle. After all, it's an Anita Blake comic; it's not like readers need more excuses to hurl it against a wall.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

I can't get over the way Anita is drawn. It's just so...

... so...

... fitting. Especially her face, which only seems to have two modes - sad, self-pitying pouting and angry, impotently disapproving pouting. That is actually perfect, since Anita's only two emotional modes are "boo hoo, life is so haaaaaaaaaaard" and "grrrrrrrr, life is so haaaaaaaaaard and this jerk is making it even harder."

And LKH has personally approved this style of drawing, right? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but I am - for some reason, I would have expected that seeing the visual representation of what she's always writing would have made her go, "hang on - this isn't really what I had in mind..."

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

Did you see the size of her lips? (Especally the bottom one) It puts Angelina Jolie's to shame.

[easol.livejournal.com]

It looks like her lip is eating her chin.

totally Awed

[flaveur.livejournal.com]

What a fabulous Comics, that's a first rate, and place in my heart !!! And, we see, Anita don't have the same legs than all people.
And for the misquoting, I'm an Only Chuck-Norris quotes part... with a little bit of J-C Vandamme. And Doc Savage, too, but that's a thing with the translation, so... I've found an other books who look promising !! In browsing in Mobipocket, there was this Thing, with a so magnificent free sample, Read it, dude, Anita is the spiritual mother of this one !
http://www.mobipocket.com/en/eBooks/eBookDetails.asp?BookID=167999

Re: totally Awed

[flaveur.livejournal.com]

And the Name, Raven... that so teen titans.. and goth... oups... wiccan.

in blake, weren't a moment when Anita is censed to learn hers powers with a witch ? Didn't hear of that witch furthermore, weird....

Re: totally Awed

[whispertwistair.livejournal.com]

wat?

Re: totally Awed

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

Man, that description of the story sucked. If her writing is just as bad, she's definately the spirital daughter of Ms. Hamilton.

Re: totally Awed

[flaveur.livejournal.com]

and you didn't see the description in the free sample. Priceless. Simply priceless

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

I love that cover beyond all reason.

[jerel.livejournal.com]

Me too. :)

Now, is it the actual Wolverine, or is it the disclaimer that he's not in the book? Because I'm going back and forth between which of those makes me love it more.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

JESUS. Even if she had misquoted the line the usual way it gets misquoted--"Do you feel lucky, punk?"--it might have MADE MORE SENSE.

[easol.livejournal.com]

The "punk" and "do ya?" are the most important parts, even if you get the rest incorrect. Without at least one of those, it sounds like a genteel old lady trying to sound badass.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

The Wolverine vs Anita...brilliant, just brilliant. I could hardly believe it was real. And I too am oddly amused by the blood pouring out of the stuffed penguin.

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

I could just imagine if there's a crossover and Anita beliving she's getting another sex toy goes for Wolvie only to find out he's even shorter than her, hairy, and grows back his balls after she hacks them off.

[denelian.livejournal.com]

i am... confused... at the title.

i only have the first two compilations (gulty pleasure 1 and 2) and the first death.
i had had such high hopes for the project...

le sigh

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

If only LKH was actually told to stay away from the project it might've been readable.

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

Worst heroine ever. Even I knew not to put stuffed animals in the bath tub when I was a kid.

penguin bath icon

[sacky-xxx-iii.livejournal.com]

Alas, I could not make the text readable and still get the full impact of the poor penguin.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I was just reading this ghastly mess, and it occurs to me that LKH's annoying habit of acting like everything she thinks/realizes is a big revelation extends to Whorenita. There's a whole panel devoted to her dramatically saying that she feels more vulnerable when she's naked... as if every other person in the world wouldn't feel the same way.

(It's also very hilarious when you consider that later she spends at least half of entire BOOKS naked)

You can really tell that LKH was heavily involved in this disaster, because no matter how it bogs down the storyline she includes anything that A) makes Anita look even vaguely expertish or B) lets her try to sound tough, even if she's getting knocked on her wide ass and having to be rescued by Ronnie.

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

It's like LKH\Anita likes to hear herself talk\monologe.