Misogyny and LKH

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

  Given Ms. Hamilton's attitude with women that aren't Merry\Anita that even former friends get burnt at the stake one has to wonder if she absolutely hates women as a whole.  Anita just goes to such extremes to not be "girly", forgets that women can have law enforcement or other "macho" jobs, attractive blondes are all bubble-headed bimbos, females who display "weak" emmotions are looked down on compared to her character, and any other woman is either jealous, a prude, or a total bitch.  As said before, even the decent females will eventually have their personalities ruined.

  I wonder if LKH was raised in a chauvanistic home that gave her such an extreme dislike toward her own gender that she has to prove that she is nothing like other "weak, girly, jealous bimbos".

Comments

[polymexina.livejournal.com]

yeah, she pretty much hates other women.

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

Yet ironically her men (especally the ones Anita\Merry fucks) are so femmy.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

I think you've got to be extremely insecure yourself to have that big a hate-on for any group of people. Laurell--and I just nearly typed "Anita" again; I have got to stop doing that--appears to have such a grandiose, it's all about me, overinflated sense of self-worth that it wouldn't take much from anyone else to pop it, so she labels other woman immediately as 'weak' so as to protect herself.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Well... she was raised by her grandmother, and recently she killed off Merry's grandmother so... make of that what you will.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

Well, we know that: 1)she was raised conservative Catholic in the Midwest, 2)she still has issues with her grandmother who raised her, and 3)she's a bit of a narcissist (which masks a lot of insecurity).

Begin rampant speculation: I'd guess that she was raised in an environment that emphasized more traditional roles (wouldn't she have been growing up in the late '60s, '70s? tumultuous times for gender issues that she may have only had secondhand exposure to in a disapproving context) and she didn't like them. Maybe she resented her grandmother for various reasons and wanted a cause to rebel against. Perhaps many of the women she knew growing up did fit the feminine mold; perhaps she saw her grandmother as miserable and attributed it to being a kept woman (I think religion played a factor, too, and we know how she feels about that). (But I have fuzzy recollections her grandmother had to work...and had her grandfather been abusive, or am I think of something else?)

She went to a Midwest college, as well, and so might not have had an opportunity to hook up with any feminist or otherwise liberal groups that would give her an outlet + help her realize she's not the only tough, ballsy, independent woman out there. Add in narcissistic insecurity and voila: she's the only one to kick through the glass ceiling and be tough and rugged and play in Boy Land, etc.

I'd suggest it odd that she continues to maintain this idea despite evidence to the contrary, rather than focusing on her actual accomplishments, but perhaps she's just feeling old and aging and mid-life-crisisy and needs something else to hold onto.

/too much?

[yaoihuntresse.livejournal.com]

That's a good point. There probably was some heavy male sterotypes thrown at her (only macho, unfeeling borish types are real men) so that probably why she tries so hard to have Anita act like one.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

Well, I cared enough (and I'm procrastinating on a paper, yay) to find this (http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/index.php/site/comments/happy_fathers_day2/):

My grandmother and I didn't need a man around the house to tote and fetch and do the hard labor, that was my job as I got older. She raised me to be the man of the house because that's what she needed. She was woman enough for any household. If we needed repairs beyond simple ones done, we hired it done.

Also this (http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/index.php/site/comments/the_fight_is_over/), which is probably where I got the grandfather thing from, though I'm not honestly sure what exactly she was trying to say:

Granny had two great loves in her life. The first, my grandfather, beat his love out of her for about twenty years.

but also

Two strong, independent women in one house was one too many when I got older. She'd raised me too well. Then there were the parts of me she didn't understand at all, and that was a lot. She apologized years later for not wanting me to play Dungeons and Dragons. "Who knew it would be important to you, " she said. I did. "I'm sorry I didn't want you to read so much, I didn't think it was good for you. Who knew it would be so important to you?" I did.

*shrug*

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Her grandmother sounds a lot like my mom and every other mother of a geeky kid in 1980-88. My parents complained endlessly about D&D, Rock & Roll, fantasy novels, romance novels, science fiction conventions, SCA events, weird clothing and for some still to be discovered reason Doritos. They complained about me NOT going out and partying enough and my sister going to too many parties.

I think its called a generation gap and it always starts with a line that goes something like this, "When I was 16/17/18 I didn't spend all day sitting around the house. I went to a dance/sporting event/USO where I...

You know what? Most of us forgive our parents right around the time that we hear these words coming out of our mouths, "When I was 18 I had to..."

[oo3.livejournal.com]

It's not just LKH's series. Take just about any book/series in the werewolf-vampire-urban genre with a female lead and you'll find that the main character is the only worthwhile female in the whole series, or just about. I can think of three series off the top of my head. Blondes, especially, get the short end of the stick.

[oo3.livejournal.com]

Editing to add - This is just from my experience, and I certainly don't mean to imply that this happens in every series in this genre.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

It's that fucking blond complex that has to appear in any series that includes vampires and vampire romance. 'Anita Blake', 'Twilight' and others all feature petite dark haired Sues, while every blond in the book is a complete bitch.

On a 'Twilight' chat site (don't ask me how I got this info...it wasn't pretty), fans were defending the idea of why every main character of a vampire romance has to be dark haired. Because they didn't want to read about "prissy blond bitches."

So essentially, and it is ironic, LKH and others perpetuate this stereotype that all blonds are bitches. Hair color somehow is somehow genetically linked to personality. And here irony kicks in: We're suppose to read the brunette Sue as being someone who doesn't judge other by appearances and is totally not shallow, while blonds are shallow bitches who judge others by looks...yet every blond is being fucking judged as being a bitch simply by hair color.

It's laughable and utterly pathetic.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

This is why I want to write a paranormal series with the main character as a complete basket case (and red haired) and is so afraid of vampires and werewolves that she nearly screws up saving the day because she's too busy throwing up.

And there's a blonde, kick butt sidekick who is completely awesome, and not the main character, but lovable and a trained fighter, and the guys go for her before the main character. :D It'd just be interesting.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling. I just started reading a Caitlin Kiernan book, and the heroine is SO INCREDIBLY OBNOXIOUS in the Anita mold -- all macho and gun-wavey and smartass (despite supposedly being a COP) and of course she's better than everyone else and there are no women around at all, and of course she's the ONLY female cop in an entire major city POLICE PRECINCT.

And despite being a despised "lone wolf" everybody is scared of how tough and dominant she is. The only other woman is her bitchy witch cousin who is always fighting with her; all the other cops there are sexist louts who hate her for being a Strong Woman. I cannot wait to rip this book a new one on amazon.

There are a few series that transcend it, but not many, sadly.

[ukoku.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think the problem lies with the fact that Anita is LKH. I love characters with a ton of flaws, I think they're more realistic. I guess we know why now, huh?

Sidebar, isn't the blonde thing dead? I mean, there was a time where you were a Better Barbie if you were blonde, and so everyone felt pressure to lighten their hair. I've never heard of anyone feeling that way anymore, not for years. I'm outside the mainstream fashion loop, so I don't know.

The reason I point this out is Anita's very "boo hoo, I've got dark hair, and even though I'm gorgeous I'm less pretty than blondes because everybody wants blondes". It's just that I'm surprised this supposed blonde versus brunette competition still exists.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

Now that you mention it, I haven't heard the blonde thing in a long time (though I notice there are still lots of dye jobs around). The last time I saw it discussed (on Fark, of course, so who really knows), the winner was redheads. =p

[easol.livejournal.com]

I got over that complex in first grade. Finding out about Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Taylor didn't hurt that either -- one of them was the most gorgeous back in her youth, and the other is STILL gorgeous. And both of them had brown hair.

And looking back now, the girl we all envied for her perfect blond hair actually had terrible volume (she's probably bald now) and a ratty face. She was also a spoiled bitch. :)

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

I know someone rather like Anita. She identifies as being very manly, because she sees other women as weak, over-emotional, spewing pink glitter from every orifice, etc., and also claims to hate them because they’re all petty mean backstabbing bitches, yet adores femmey and/or gay men to pieces. It’s so curious because she’s got the feminist consciousness that the stereotypes of men and women are messed up because she’s not like women are “supposed” to be, but she’s got the sexist idea that all other women are, and that all men aren’t. Whenever another girl defies those stereotypes or isn’t someone that she hates, she says they’re “not a girl”, and what’s more, says it as though it were a good thing. This is all very troubling to me, really, and I see Anita as being the same.

Basically, I think LKH has the mistaken idea that all men are MANLY and this is GOOD and TOUGH and AWESOME, and all women are GIRLY and this is BAD and WEAK, and that since she/Anita is not, from her point of view, stupid or frivolous or vain or weak or inclined towards pink or any number of sexist stereotypes, she must be a man, and since men are superior to women, so is she. She doesn’t just talk about Anita/herself as being different from other women, she talks about being superior because of it, or at least that’s what I get from the tone. Ironically, for someone who thinks she’s so edgy and enlightened, she’s just doing what sexist men, or indeed sexist people as a whole, have been doing for ages, and that is declaring a woman who doesn’t fit the mold as being “not a woman” as though being a woman is privilege that needs other people’s approval in order for one to have it. If she was a transman, that would be one thing, but she’s not. She’s a huge fucking misogynist woman, and a gender essentialist who thinks you can either be a MAN or a WOMAN and that there’s a strict set of traits that define each, and if that ain’t sexist, what is?

I think she probably got alot of pressure growing up to a girly girl, docile, domestic, etc., not from men but from other women, and she not only rejected it (to which I say, kudos her, because I don't believe anyone should be pressured into that) but decided that this was how all women were and that she hated it so therefore she hated them and since she wasn't GIRLY then she must be MANLY and only MEN are worth anything and so only they should be hung around, paid attention to, pleased, glorified, etc. I think she's intimidated by other women, honestly, and that they make her insecure, so she demonizes them. That's the feeling I get from my friend, too.

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one who wants to have a heroine who is very girly. I can just see it now, "Dangit! I broke a nail staking that vampire and my next manicure isnt' for a week!"

[leggomylegolas.livejournal.com]

I used to know someone a LOT like that (LKH reminds me of her constantly) and in a weird way I always read it as her trying to be more attractive to men. "Met hate catty bitches I'm so unusual not like all the other girls they will like meeeeeeeee" and such.

Well, it works for Anita, doesn't it. ALLLLL the men on Earth love her.

[mystoflare.livejournal.com]

I love you, you summed up what I always wondered/suspected about LKH far more eloquently than I could.
This part especially made me think:

who thinks you can either be a MAN or a WOMAN and that there’s a strict set of traits that define each, and if that ain’t sexist, what is?

She seems to think that people should fit into the rigid, unbending "rules" of what makes a MAN or a WOMAN, and it seems like she can't imagine people who inhabit a grey area for either one. I know a young lady who LOVES the color pink, sparkly stuff in shoujo anime, and a few other "girly" things, but then, she can also come across as mean or bitchy if you don't know her. Yet, she's the assistant manager at her workplace, after having been there only a few months. M'dear Nao-chan also has a boy-toy (and admits that their friendship is basically friends with sex on the side), she's not vain, frivolous, or weak in any way, but stubborn as hell. She's also vaguely-bi-leaning-towards-straight. If she met LKH, she'd tear Laurell a few new ones.
On the other side, I know a lot of guys who aren't MACHO BOORISH MUSCULAR MANLY MANZ. One of them does a delightful podcast with some of his buddies, actively networks with both men and women, and he's not the stereotypical muscular, buff bodybuilder, he's a little on the heavy side. And four other guys I know of are either gay or bi, one of them does crossdress sometimes. And they're sensitive guys with a sense of humor, and people seem to like being around them. Then again, I suppose our oddball little subculture doesn't really pay attention to established gender roles/stereotypes, except to make fun of them in good humor, at least in the circles I hang around.

Good gravy, if I ever met someone like Anita, I'd probably either just not want to be around her after the first meeting, or break my personal oath to never do violence to another person, and beat the shit out of her. Just knowing people with extreme Anita-ish traits is enough to tick me off. rodentfanatic, you have kudos from me, you must have the patience and understanding of a saint.

[sandit.livejournal.com]

I think this attitude of hers towards other women is part of a bigger worldview you see in her blogs all the time. LKH--Anita too for that matter--and her opinions on society and social matters are so usually so wildly inconsistent that there isn't any way for her to reconcile them all with each other unless she uses a great big heaping spoonful of "but it's different when it's me!" It's not particularly that either is chauvanistic--though they are--but that both are hypocritical in general.

I don't remember anything LKH has remarked about her grandfather, but I have read many blogs with remarks that her grandmother encouraged her to be capable of tasks that might be considered traditionally male for the sake of self reliance.

The blogs of hers that I have read don't really suggest that her grandmother gave her some typically girly raising she would need to rebel against, they kind of point away from that in fact ... but maybe I've missed some. I'd be interested in hearing if anyone remembers something LKH has actually written about her family that supports this theory.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I do know that recently she was boasting about how her granny raised her to be self-reliant and that it was more important to lug heavy outdoorsy stuff than to have a manicure blah blah.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I don't think that LKH has figured out that people can have stereotypically feminine and/or masculine characteristics and some of them at the same time. It's not mutually exclusive. People can act "girly" (in LKH's view) or "manly" depending in the situation. the traits are neither good nor bad and one set of behaviors isn't superior to the other.

LKH comes across as someone who is very socially inept and was raised in a very limited and sheltered society. Or maybe she just doesn't have the intelligence to realize that people are more than the sum of their character traits and quirks.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

People can act "girly" (in LKH's view) or "manly" depending in the situation.

Using myself for an example, I hate bugs and being dirty and I like wearing dresses. But my idea of a perfect date is hanging out in pajamas, eating tacos, and watching Evil Dead 2. My ex-boyfriend loved me for that. XD

[easol.livejournal.com]

"Or maybe she just doesn't have the intelligence to realize that people are more than the sum of their character traits and quirks."

This is certainly true, because the characters tend to revolve around whatever character traits she gives them and nothing else. Asher, for example, has a scarred face -- ergo he basically obsesses about this ALL the time. We never hear about him, I dunno, crocheting or reading a specific author's books or anything that doesn't involve being angsty about scars.

Or JC, who has the incubus thing going and thus doesn't really say or do anything other than the sexually provocative. He just slithers around oozing sex.