lkh_lashouts | Skin Trade Bookflog, chapters 9-12 (Reply)

Good evening, lashers :) I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this up, but here are the next four chapters in the Skin Trade bookflog, snarked up and ready. I very much enjoyed the discussions on the last set of chapters, they really brought up a lot of interesting points and things to consider. So please feel free to join right in with me.

As always, any quotes from LKH are in boldface, while my commentary is in regular font. If you'd like to read the previous chapters, you can do so by clicking on the tags below.

So without further ado,

CHAPTER NINE:

An hour later, Anita "still hadn't seen the crime scene," because she's been sitting in the interrogation room. She remarks that "you can watch all the CSI you want," but "the Vegas interrogation room was just like all the others." Speaking of people who obviously watch a lot of CSI, there was an episode in the fourth season of the original Las Vegas CSI called "Jackpot" where Grissom heads to a small Nevada town after a severed head arrives at the crime lab. He goes alone, without the help of his usual team. And what do you know! Anita is in Nevada, alone, in search of a killer after receiving a severed head. There was even a shady, uncooperative sheriff involved, for crying out loud.

The stupidity of this is rather alarming--you know good and well that if you're writing a mystery set in Las Vegas, you're going to draw comparisons to the CSI television show. That's just a given. So clearly, the wise move to make is to write a plot that bears A LOT of similarity to an episode of that very show. And what's more, to have your protagonist mention that her description of Las Vegas is more realistic than that of the television show.

At any rate, on this week's episode of AB:CSI, Anita had been forced to leave her vast arsenal of weaponry in a locker before entering the room to meet with Sheriff Shaw. Which would be fine, except the entire last chapter described, in painstaking detail, every weapon Anita wanted to bring with her, the equipment used to transport it all, and the history behind her fancy grenades. And truly, I'm assuming that most of the people who have read the series aren't beside themselves with glee when Anita introduces a new, exotic, and difficult-to-obtain weapon. Anita was much cooler, in my humble opinion, when she packed her Browning Hi-Power and a knife or two, period. She didn't need the psychological mind-tricks of a vampire, the speed and strength of a lycanthrope, or a gym bag with enough artillery guns to recreate The Battle of Stalingrad--she used her favorite gun, that was easily obtainable, and she became rather proficient with it. The other side of the spectrum was always Edward, who clearly loved his special toys. Turning Anita into an Obscure Weapons of the World centerfold changed her character completely, and it just seems like a cheap way for the author to slip in some "research."

Anita admits that she had thought she'd be sharing information about Vittorio with the Vegas police, and instead, she's being interviewed, and "not in a good, happy way." I can't imagine why Shaw would want to interview her, of all people. It isn't as though the killer left her name in blood on a wall, or anything. Oh, wait. Any investigator would question that, or else they'd be as incompetent as the fictional St. Louis police department depicted in the Anitaverse. Shaw gives her his best "hard look," which Anita notes is pointless, since "unless death or heartbreak was involved, you could look at [her] as hard has you wanted and [she] wouldn't fucking care." Watch out, Vegas. Here be a badass.

Shaw asks Anita to tell him about the last time she met up with "this bloodsucker," and she answers that she's already told him twice, and already made a full report when it happened. She tells him she can verify by checking the reports of the St. Louis SWAT team against hers. Shaw insists that he wants to know the extra little details that Anita and her "vampire boyfriend kept secret." Anita thinks about it for a minute, and tells him that the only thing they hadn't reported was that "Vittorio could hide from other Masters of the City."

Shaw says that Max admitted he couldn't sense Vittorio, but that he assumed that Max had been lying. Anita confirms that he was being truthful, so naturally Shaw is extra-suspicious, and suggests that Anita may be lying to cover for Max. You know, for once I'm surprised that Anita hasn't told this idiot to take a hike. LKH went through all the trouble of getting Anita U.S. Marshal status so she wouldn't have to bend over backwards, no pun intended, with local law enforcement when she's out of state. And yet, here she is, putting up with a dumpster-sized load of crap from the Generic Local Woman-Hater. This just smacks of a weak attempt at illustrating Anita's "I'm with the guys" attitude.

Anita insists that she came to Vegas to help Shaw, and he reminds her that she only came because Vittorio sent her a personal invitation. He insists that he needs to know why Vittorio seems to be targeting her. Anita tells him that she'd hunted Vittorio and he'd gotten away, and that she'd always known he'd resurface because "he's a serial killer, and being a vampire doesn't make that big a difference to the pathology." Meaning that "most serial killers have to keep killing," and that they "won't stop until they die or are caught." Shaw points out that the "BTK killer stopped for years," and Anita immediately chimes in with her knowledge of that case. She tells Shaw that she "hated that moniker" and that the BTK killer played "hell with a lot of the profilers" because he didn't fit the typical definition of a serial killer.

This must be where LKH's "serial killer books" came into play, which she mentioned in her blog. And like most of her research tools, they left out some key information, namely that the term "profiler" isn't used in real life, the actual job title is either a forensic psychologist, or a criminal psychologist. They work to create a profile, and it generally isn't an exact blueprint. I find it hilarious that Anita tries to drop some knowledge on the Sheriff by mentioning that "we're taught that serials can't stop for twenty years," as if she's been studying criminal psychology for years on the sly, building up an encyclopedic knowledge on the workings of the criminal mind. Would it really be so terrible if there were information in the AB:VH books that Anita didn't know first-hand? That another character could give her, in an exchange, without it turning into a pissing contest? And she's doing this while being interrogated as a possible suspect, at least tangentially. If Shaw wanted an "expert" opinion, I imagine he'd call in in an expert on violent crime. Anita isn't a police officer, she's a U.S. Marshal that hasn't been trained. Being a U.S. Marshal doesn't automatically make you an expert on law enforcement, freaking Drew Carey is a U.S. Marshal in real life.

Shaw comments that it sounds like Anita has given a lot of thought to the BTK killer, and responds by asking, "hasn't every cop?" She goes on to say that "the BTK killer has thrown a lot of our traditional theories on these guys into the crapper." Here we go again, using the plural pronouns when referring to law enforcement. It just seems as though Anita is positively desperate for acceptance into this particular club. Shaw says that she "talk[s] like a cop," and Anita detects a tone of surprise. She explains to him that she's a girl that "clean[s] up well," which gets the gossip mills going. That, plus the fact that she's "dating a vampire" means that "the other cops" have a low opinion of her. For the last time, Anita isn't a cop! Or a combat tactician, or veteran of the armed forces, for that matter.

Anita mulls over the fact that she'd moved into the Circus to "help Jean-Claude's reputation among the other vampires," but she hadn't realized that it would harm her already shaky reputation amongst the police. She admits that it both surprised her and hurt her feelings. Detective Morgan enters the interrogation room, ostensibly to play "good cop to Shaw's grumpy cop." He brings Anita a cup of coffee, and nicely tells her that they "just want to know why this guy is after [her]." He addresses her by her first name, probably to build up some sort of camaraderie, and so she calls him "Ed" in return, commenting that he "could have called himself Tip O'Neill and [she] wouldn't have cared." Which...is a really odd reference to make. Either she's referring to the former Speaker of the House (which doesn't make sense) or the former baseball player (which makes even less sense.) It just sort of hangs clumsily in the paragraph. While Anita's busy dodging Tip's question, Lieutenant Thurgood enters the room, who was a woman, "but she was one of those women who seem to hate other women." OH HERE WE GO. Put on your raincoats, Lashers, this is about to get messy.

Thurgood is tall and muscular, with short curly hair. She had the sort of cheekbones "that people pay surgeons for," but Anita assumes that Thurgood's cheekbones are natural, since she's wearing an ugly skirt suit that didn't fit her properly. So of course, the Woman-Hating Female Cop doesn't dress well and has a short hair cut. And I'm sure she's wearing sensible shoes too, to completely flesh out the stereotype. Thurgood instructs both Shaw and Tip O'Neill to leave, insisting that she and Anita "need some girl talk." As soon as the men are out of the room, Thurgood asks Anita, "Did you fuck this Vittorio, too?" She gets right in Anita's face, and Anita refuses to flinch or lean away. They remain "close enough to kiss," when all of a sudden Thurgood jumps back, and says that she didn't think Anita liked girls. At this, Anita decides she's had just about enough, and she stands, telling Thurgood to have her "little lesbian fantasies" some other time, because she's got a crime scene to visit, and little daylight remaining. So, the worst insult Anita could come up with is accusing the Lieutenant of being a lesbian. As though it's something completely horrible and shameful. It can't possibly surprise anyone that the burly woman-hater has some sort of eye for Anita. I've often lamented LKH's treatment of gay characters (like that poor bastard Byron, to say nothing of Jean-Claude) but I think the most maligned characters in the Anitaverse are the lesbians. Anita goes on to say that unless the police have reason to charge her, she's leaving. Shaw and Ed return, and try to convince Anita to stay, but to no avail.

CHAPTER TEN:

Shaw escorts Anita to pick up the weapons she'd been forced to leave behind. She notes that "they couldn't keep [her] from doing her job," nor could they keep her "from having more weapons than God." Um, ok. If you say so, Anita. She mentions that she'd tried to be nice, but that she now understands why the Feds were often "so grumpy."

Anita treats us to yet another pointless diatribe about her weapons. She's using a new backpack, tailored to fit snugly, since she has "more lethal toys" than she can carry. There's more discussion on holsters and vests, and she describes where she holds each of these guns on her person, as if we're all picturing it in our heads. For those keeping track, she is carrying:

-her big giant knife in the spine sheath

-her new Browning, with extra magazines, in a shoulder holster

-a Smith and Wesson on her waist

-an MP5, in a tactical sling (OK seriously? An MP5? Those are submachine guns, and pretty much impossible to conceal. These were the guns used by Gruber in Die Hard)

-a shotgun, carried in the backpack, along with holy water, grenades, and extra ammunition

-her vest and helmet

I know she went through that whole "look how much I can lift" charade to prove that she can haul all this crap around, but it isn't terribly realistic and it makes for a rather ridiculous mental image.

Shaw is impressed with Anita's arsenal, and more than a little annoyed that she is ignoring him. He tells her that she "packs like a soldier," and a voice from outside the door says that "she had a good teacher." It's Edward, of course, who teases Anita by saying that she was "still wet behind the ears" when they met. Anita gives us the stock description of Edward, which we could all probably recite from memory now: blond-haired, blue-eyed, cold-ass smile. Although this time Anita mentions that Edward was "just too damned WASP-looking to hide anywhere too ethnic." Ethnic! This is the second time, in only ten chapters, that LKH has used the word "ethnic" to describe anywhere you aren't likely to find white people. I just can't even.

Edward says that he'd been detained by the Las Vegas police as well, where he was accused of sleeping with Anita. Anita is shocked, and Edward goes on to say that the assumption was that Anita had slept with not only him, but with Otto Jeffries and a few other people as well. Instead of addressing the rumors, Anita asks about Donna, Peter, and Becca. Apparently, Peter is taking his black belt test, and Becca is performing in a dance recital.

Shaw feels a little left out with the friendly, domestic conversation, and tries to explain himself by asking both Anita and Edward to look at the situation from their standpoint. Anita tells him off, saying that she's tired of being treated like a bad guy, just because she's "better at [her] job than the rest of the men." Edward clears his throat at this, and Anita amends her statement by saying that Edward is the exception. She boasts about her high kill count, and claims that everyone assumes she's "fucking [her] way to the top." Shaw insists that she can't possibly be as good as she says she is, because she hasn't had any training. Edward, or Ted as he's being referred to, backs up Anita's claims, by saying that Anita isn't a good soldier or a good cop, but that she is good at killing.

I have a feeling that if anyone other than Edward had said that, Anita would be furious. Instead, she agrees with him, saying that in the end she isn't a cop or a soldier, but a "legally sanctioned murderer." Shaw is surprised that she'd refer to herself in that way, and she says that she doesn't "want to pretty it up," because she knows what she does for a living. She also admits that there is only one person better at her job than she is, and she glances at Edward while saying so. Finally, Shaw grudgingly tells them that he's lucky to have them along.

Edward and Anita head out to the car that Edward has brought along. On the way, he mentions to Anita that he didn't "mention Olaf just for kicks." Apparently, Marshal Otto Jeffries was "on the ground" since he's a western state marshal. Anita infodumps the relevant information about Olaf, namely that he too is a serial killer, and that Olaf had gotten the idea to become a Marshal from Anita, so that he could kill legally. I'm assuming the screening process wasn't too stringent, since we were told that the government knows of Olaf's, um, extracurricular activities.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Edward leads Anita to a large black SUV, which he was able to rent while the other three U.S. Marshals were being interrogated. Anita does some quick math, and realizes that she's missing someone. Instead of answering her, Edward motions her towards the back of the building where a group of police were standing. Olaf is there, clad in black from head to toe, and he stood out like "a Goth among uniforms." Olaf approaches Edward and Anita, and gives Anita a smile. She notes that it's the sort of smile "a man gives to a woman he's had sex with, good sex, and he's hoping to have it again." Naturally, this gets her back up immediately. He offers his hand, and while Anita is reluctant to shake it, she recognizes that Olaf had a "pathological hatred towards women," and as such, a handshake from him was quite a big deal. During the awkward handshake, Anita remembers that she and Olaf had taken the heads and hearts of the vampires together on their last adventure, when Olaf had a creeptastic time caressing an open chest cavity. She realizes that Olaf views her as his "trophy of that kill," and that her touch "brings back the memory of the slaughter." She tells him to let go of her hand, and he doesn't do so until Edward insists upon it.

Noticing Anita's fear, Edward puts his arm across her shoulders, which, though a "fairly innocent gesture," was really about "marking territory" for Olaf's sake. Anita notes that while she certainly wasn't Edward's girl, she wouldn't complain due to the creepy vibes being sent out by Olaf. Oh Edward, no. Anita's skin is like fly paper, once any part of someone's anatomy makes contact with it, it refuses to relinquish the hold. I sure hope Edward has some industrial-strength Bitch Be Gone spray, in the event that he finds himself snared. Anita calms herself by thinking that someday, she'll wind up killing Olaf. The other cops notice Edward's gesture, but Anita can't be bothered with the implications. She notices that the fourth marshal of the group is Bernardo Spotted Horse, currently flirting with a female deputy.

Anita describes Bernardo, who last appeared in Obsidian Butterfly, as a "tall, dark, and handsome" American Indian "with perfect cheekbones," braided hair, and a muscular physique. For those of you keeping a tally of the trite, overused stereotypes, put a check in the column for "braided hair." I know it isn't uncommon for some Native Americans to wear a braid, but way to go with the completely obvious dress code. The best thing I can say is that at least LKH didn't add that Bernardo was wearing moccasins, because it would have driven me into an early grave due to excessive head-desking. He walks over, and remarks that the other cops are now definitely convinced that there's some sort of love triangle between Anita, Edward, and Olaf. Anita and Bernardo shake hands, and recall that it's been about three years since they've seen each other. Bernardo kisses her hand, and Olaf actually glances at Edward, as if to encourage him "to do something about it." Edward seems disgusted with all of the back-and-forth sexual tension, which Anita realizes is rare, since Edward rarely shows emotion. They head for the car, bickering over who gets to ride shotgun (Anita wins, which I'm sure supririses no one) and they head off behind a police car en route to the crime scene.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Anita, Edward, Olaf, and Bernardo finally arrive at the crime scene, which was a "huge warehouse" surrounded by "cops of every flavor, emergency personnel, and forensics." Anita realizes that most of the clues, if any, probably won't make sense since Vittorio "had enough vampire powers to make his less powerful vamps help him get his kicks." But, if they are in fact clues, would it really matter if they were left by more than one vampire? Surely finding members of Vittorio's kiss would be helpful in finding him as well? The logic of this statement escapes me, but then, I can't say I wasn't expecting that. There are marked areas where the bodies of the victims had been, and Edward notices that it had been a "firefight" due to the markers for where "spent shells" and empty weapons had lain. Everyone is surprised that the vampires survived the firefight, since the cops who died were trained and clearly used their weapons. Bernardo comments that the vampire hunter had been ex-military as well, a fact he learned while flirting with the female deputy earlier. Since all of the evidence has been removed, there isn't much to be learned from the crime scene at all. Because the lycanthropy she carries has increased her sense of smell. Anita is particularly sensitive to the "smell of death" in the warehouse.

Bernardo points out the vampires hadn't fed on the victims, instead, they just "bled them out." Edward mentions that the some of the blood could belong to the vampires in Vittorio's kiss, and reasons that he might have taken his dead with him for some unknown reason. Anita is doubtful, since Vittorio typically left his own vampires wherever they happened to die. Collectively, they discern that the vampires were able to ambush the SWAT team because the SWAT team had brought along a psychic rather than a necromancer that could sense the dead.

Anita wonders out loud how the other Marshals manage to survive, since they can't sense the vampires the way that she can. She admits that Edward is better than she is, since he's survived for so long without that particular ability. Bernardo is hurt that Anita didn't include him in the same category as Edward, and she tells him that Edward has proven himself to her on more than one occasion, while he has not. Bernardo is curious, and asks Anita if Otto is better than she is, and she says that she doesn't know, and quietly adds that she hopes that Edward is better than Olaf. Anita is surprised at her own honesty, and explains that someday, Olaf is going to come for her, when "he thinks [she's] less fun alive than [she] would be dead." When that happens, she's counting on Edward to finish the job if Olaf proves to be too much for her to handle. Edward overhears that part of the conversation, and agrees that he and Anita will work with Olaf "until he crosses the line." Bernardo says that sometimes Anita and Edward scare him a little bit more than Olaf does, and Anita points out that he'd be plenty scared if he fit Olaf's victim profile the way that she does. He concedes the point, and says that unless they're killing Olaf today, they ought to get to work. Anita isn't quite sure where Bernardo falls on the "good guy/bad guy" scale, since he wasn't going to "contemplate killing Olaf" but he wouldn't stop it from happening, either.