lkh_lashouts | Actual review of FLIRT (Reply)

Hello all.

I actually purchased a copy of FLIRT in a used bookstore a few days ago- don't ask me how it got there- and slapped together a quick review if anyone's interested...

Let me first say that I have never read an Anita Blake novel before this; my experience with LKH’s writing is all Meredith Gentry. I have no true- or troo- context to put things in, but after reading it, I don’t really think I needed to.

The story almost feels like a stand alone. Granted, there are references and sub-texts from past stories to draw upon, but none really impacted the story. Which would have been hard to do, given what story there was.

This novel/novella/novelette is only 158 pages long, comprised of the too-familiar large, double-spaced type. There’s also quite a bit of padding before and after the story, which is kind of interesting- not so much what it is as to why it might be there.

**SPOILER ALERTS**

As indicated in the blurbs, a rich man wants Anita to resurrect his dead wife. She refuses, mostly on ethical grounds as it seems the man wants to resume their marriage, which she tries to explain is impossible. He leaves unsatisfied, and Anita and a few boytoys- Nathaniel, Jason and Micah- head off to lunch together.

Lunch is all about the science and skill of flirting: touching, eye contact, double entendres, flattery… To emphasize this, the waiter that comes to take their orders is completely flustered by Nathaniel; Anita rises to the challenge and makes her own lasting impression upon him.

Back at the office a wealthy woman wants Anita to resurrect her dead husband so she can exact a terrible vengeance upon him; Anita refuses this time on moral grounds- how’s that for symmetrical…

Anita returns to the same restaurant for another lunch; the same waiter comes to her, hoping for more than just flirting. During the encounter Anita senses another shapeshifter- a were-lion named Jacob- and the lioness in her responds eagerly, despite the danger. Another lion- Nick- joins them, boxing her into their trap, and they threaten mayhem if she doesn’t comply. All three flex their powers, testing and reacting to each other, with plenty of angst and emoting thrown in to drag things out waaaay toooo long.

Anita thinks she knows who’s bankrolling all this, but the too-obvious attempt at a twist falls short. The meeting with the previously-spurned client is ridiculous: they talk about the situation, Anita gets angry, Jacob and Nick try to soothe the savage beast while the client stands there. Repeat as (not) needed.

The client needs something extra to resurrect their spouse, something sinister. Anita realizes what it is, which brings up the lioness- but she’s in heat, having never been with a Rex before. Both males want her; she uses this against them and tries to escape but is stopped by Silas- another lion- and they both suffer for it.

She awakes in a graveyard shed, her contact with her men blocked by the spell of a lioness witch who belongs to Jacob’s pride. Isolated and weakened, she needs to feed; now past the point of normal food, she must use the ardeur and Nick offers himself willingly. Given the choice between flesh and sex, Anita chooses sex, “rolling him like a vampire” and even taking his free will, since she’ll need some help to escape the situation.

Nick and Jacob both realize what she’s done, with Jacob blaming himself for not anticipating it. Silas, the were-lion Anita fought before, tries to kill her but is fatally wounded and becomes fodder to help fuel the spell. Anita discovers that a lycanthrope sacrifice is infinitely more powerful than a normal human; after resurrecting the client’s spouse, she channels the excess energy into the rest of the graveyard, raising them all up. The power shatters the witch’s spell returning Anita’s contact with her men, who are closing in. Anita recognizes the danger the client still presents to them all, and with a little help from her newly revived friends, settles the matter. Micah and the fellas arrive and everyone goes home, with Nick the New Guy in tow.

** END SPOILERS**

Being new to all this I thought the overall setting was interesting, but Anita’s powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men kept hitting me over the head; what exactly can’t she do- windows? I see what people mean about Anita and Merry being almost interchangeable- it didn’t feel like there was much difference between them. The lone sex scene was ok, I suppose; I never put much stock into them per se, instead waiting to see what the new developments are.

It was intriguing the way lycanthropes visualize themselves within their minds and the way they can read each other’s body language, but I thought at times it killed potential scenarios: Jacob & Nick were constantly sizing Anita up and warning her not to try anything. There was also this lame attempt at humor by quoting movie one-liners, not as jokes but metaphors: one of the were-lions would say something and Anita would respond “Did you just quote…?” First one was ok, the rest were lame. Or maybe she was trying to establish some character quirks for them.

The graveyard scene is rife with potential. After the zombies finish their dirty work, there’s something else to them that wasn’t there before, something’s infused within them. Anita realizes what’s happened, and is momentarily seduced by it. Trust me; you’re gonna see this scenario pop up again.

The title FLIRT should be taken literally, as that’s the focus of the novel. Every Anita encounter with the were-lions- which take up the bulk of the story- is about the male/female ritual and establishing dominance. This is clearly stated in the Afterword, where LKH pontificates for thirteen pages about her writing process. Here you get a blow by blow description of a real-life encounter with a waiter that inspired the novel, which is repeated almost verbatim in the lunch scene. LKH admits that writing Divine Misdemeanors was hindered by the overwhelming, looming presence of the idea for this story.

And in case you still don’t get it, you’re treated to a five-page cartoon strip done by a good friend of hers spoofing the seminal moment. Combined with three pages of dedications and an intro that talks about said waiter encounter… that’s twenty pages of clutter around some OK reading. Overall, I’d say: 3 Stars for a new reading experience, -1 Star for the same old problem- too much fluff, not enough story.