Strange writing

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

I haven't read any of LKH's books past Harlequin, as they were so trippy and orgy-tastic by that point that I felt ashamed to be seen reading them even by my family, but curiosity got the better of me and I went to read an excerpt on Amazon of the latest book, "Bullet", to see what it was like. Immediately, this two-sentence gem leapt out at me:

"Monica's son was under five, so he didn't count as male yet. He was just a generic child."

I was under the impression that if he's Monica's son, that means he is a male. You can't be called somebody's son unless you have male genitalia. Since when has biological sex been determined by age? And what is a "generic child"? Does she mean that to Anita, Monica's son is unremarkable from other five year old boys? Is that because Anita isn't a mother, and is blind to the powerful individualism mothers ascribe to their offspring from other people's? Is it because he has very ordinary features - brown hair and brown eyes, the most common of phenotypes?

"I heard my name squealed out, in that high-pitched generic toddler voice."

What is a generic toddler voice? Squeaky? Of course it is - a boy's voice doesn't break until puberty. I think I can see what she means, and from Anita's perspective that all children seem alike is probably understandable since she doesn't have any and doesn't know anyone who has any, but it is a remarkably clumsy bit of writing. There's a lot of commentary on the sheer avalanche of sex scenes in LKH's novels, and on excessive word repetition (e.g. spilled) but has anyone else been turned off by the lack of writing quality?

Comments

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

The descriptor 'generic' and any kind of human do not belong in the same sentence if your a professional writer. I mean, it's kind of her job to make the characters and the world *not* be generic, yes? It's especially cold when talking about a child. Just read that again and see...

"He was just a generic child."

That's wtf crazy. And please tell me that boy is not squealing in delight because Anita showed up. Do even the Not Chronologically Male children become instantly enchanted with Anita? Ugh.

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

Yes, he does come running up to her and even glomps her - although it's more describing as a frontal running hug, and Anita picks him up so as not to appear "churlish." She comments on how the boy feels (at three...) that he's too grown up for cheek kisses and kisses her on the mouth instead, getting himself covered in her lipstick in the process. Now, I have younger cousins and younger sisters, and toddlers do kiss on the lips but it's an innocent thing. They don't make quasi-sexual comments about wanting to be like "the big boys who kiss you" and you certainly don't think of it that way.

I can't recall her interacting with children before - now they find her enchanting? I think a three year old would find a scarred woman with a serious expression and a big gun on her hip (which she says she brought as a little girl saw it before she sees Monica's son) quite terrifying!

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wouldn't think my darling nephew would find Anita charming. He's 5 and very much a male. So much for "generic children". The nephew has behaved differently than the niece from the very beginning.

Now, his is too adorable (in his besotted auntie's opinion) because he uses "y" instead of "l" in l-words. So, he "yikes" "yegos" and wants just a "yittle" cake. And he "yoves" Auntie Maggie.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Hee, that's adorable. I yove him already.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I like the word "yittle", a "yittle" cake sounds like a lot less than a "little".

[albinowolf.livejournal.com]

That's just even more creepy than deeming him 'not male yet'. ;

[dwg.livejournal.com]

It's worse that at first Anita blames Monica for making out with her boyfriend (because "knowing Monica, there was always a boyfriend") in front of Matthew to give him this idea, but after he kisses her, she begrudginly admits that OH SHIT maybe she's the bad role model here? NO WAI.

My skin would not stop crawling all the way through chapter one.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Now I need to know, where does one find this awful piece of writing?

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Found it. And oh god, it's even creepier to read that scene in full.

http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/Anita%20Excerpts/BulletCh1.pdf

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

I read the excerpt on Amazon because it lets you see the first and the second chapters, but I suppose the Source of Evil itself is just as good. It does add fodder to the argument that Anita suffers from latent paedophilia, doesn't it?

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I couldn't see the preview chapters on Amazon for some reason.

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't have clicked the stupid link. Now I must wash. *goes for the brain bleach*

Definitely incipient pedophilia. EW.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Monica, what a tramp. She shouldn't have a boyfriend she should have 27 "sweeties" instead.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

They don't make quasi-sexual comments about wanting to be like "the big boys who kiss you" and you certainly don't think of it that way.

Wait, WHAT?!

FFS woman! Ugh!

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Yeah... in the context she puts it in, that's a little too much for me.

[chococomilk.livejournal.com]

It's quite appalling, really. There's enough sexualization of small children without LKH turning it into the latest must-have fetish.

[wellowned.livejournal.com]

i just threw up a little bit in my mouth at the kissing comment. eww.

[plum-arden.livejournal.com]

My 4-yr old son will attempt to stick his tongue in your mouth sometimes, but it's not a sexual thing at all. He thinks it's funny, and grosses us out, so he does it. I've been gotten several times, and just tell him not to do that. LKH needs to get a grip. He has no idea why it's wrong.

[naeko.livejournal.com]

They don't make quasi-sexual comments about wanting to be like "the big boys who kiss you" and you certainly don't think of it that way.

I'm very behind on the books (CS was it!) but from what I remember about Monica and her kid, this kind of behavior actually wouldn't surprise me. I mean, Monica was inappropriate and desperate and a little nutty before becoming a mother. Now that she's a mother, one who has Jean-Claude (and probably lots of the other attractive, oversexed vampires) helping to raise her kid, I doubt she's gotten any better. Motherhood doesn't change who you are inherently; my aunt is very similar to Monica, personality-wise, and her kid started talking about sex and kissing and all that WAY too young just because of what her mother brought home from the strip club, without thinking about it.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

I don't know how close together the sentences are, either, but using "generic" TWICE to describe said kid is A BUCKETFUL OF FAIL.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

Having read the full chapter preview, it's even worse when she describes the kid as having his mom's same hair, and then two paragraphs later describes the mom as having her son's same hair.