Just recently finished Flirt...or wait, was it really a book?

[agrimlullaby.livejournal.com]

Okay…so, I miraculously just came out the other side after spending a few tortured days dragging my feet through Flirt. Maybe it’s just me, but I get increasingly more discouraged with every book I read in this series these days. They’re just so…well, if you’ve read them, you know. Beyond words would be a good way to put it, but when in reference to anything put out lately by LKH, it’s really just my way of saying I’ve never read something so irritating that I can barely even articulate it properly.

 

At any rate, most people are probably more eager to discuss Bullet (those who have made it that far, anyway), but I’m not going to bother getting that monstrosity to tackle until the traffic over it at the library clears up, so I’m game for discussing Flirt.

 

 

But some things that I found HORRIBLY annoying in Flirt:

--The very annoying, constant referencing to people just about being able to read someone’s actions by the slightest of motions.

Okay, STOP. Please. When it kept happening, I just wanted them all to shut up and someone to die. I don’t think you can pinpoint someone’s thoughts with perfect accuracy when they so much as have an eyelid twitch. It was almost as annoying as the constant power plays that were really just unnecessary muscle flexing. It really and truly gets old VERY fast considering that most of the wording for each “powerbath” seems to just be a recycled and rehashed one from some other part of the same book or a previous one.

--The reoccurring descriptions of just about every darn little thing. The most annoying that I can recall off the top of my head is saying that someone’s pulse is like a piece of candy. How long have we heard that one? Honestly. I understand that it’s part of her style, and I understand her style as being witty and (supposedly) creative. There’s hardly any creativity in reusing the same description for quite a few more than just several occasions.

--All the pathetic group hugging (which I find hard to imagine someone so set at being hard as nails and THE man accepting without thinking) and sudden doting on Blake because she’s so darn beautiful. I don’t mean to say this in a mean way, but to most people I know, scars aren’t necessarily beautiful. Isn’t Blake covered in them? And her descriptions of them are never pretty, so I feel like I’m missing something when it comes to those and how EVERYONE seems to fall under the impression that she’s just gorgeous and flawlessly perfect for EVERY man she meets.

--All the awing over her weapons and skills. Can’t we just have bad guys who don’t care? All the commentary just adds to the inflating balloon known as Blake’s massive head full of hot air. Yeah, we get it that she’s just SO badass. Can we move on now? Please?

--Mistake in Nicky’s eye color. Really now? It says his eyes are blue earlier in the book, and then near the end says they’re brown.

--It was said earlier that lust never lies, but hope does. Later on says that the ardeur, essentially lust itself, can make lies seem like truth. Inconsistency is rampant and slowly driving me crazy, here. Stupid hypocrites.

--Honestly, I’m tired of her trying to justify herself like as if she firmly believes God forgives every murder she’s ever committed—even those done in the name of saving others. I understand possibly those for others, but she also kills purely because she feels it’s “necessary.” Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t have done to yourself? Do I just sleep through church every week or what? I do believe that God is a forgiving being—I truly do. But I despise how LKH abuses that to say that Blake is still “good.” Uh-huh. I’m finding it harder to by that with every new “book.” The only good she does is in the eyes of her half-blind boytoys so infatuated with Blake I doubt they know up from down.

 

I also just love *sarcasm* how she seems perfectly okay with stealing Nicky’s free will to help herself, but when Silas is supposed to be drugging a hooker with drugs and pretty much taking that woman’s free will, suddenly they don’t have to right to do that. Uh-huh *sarcasm* Right. Got it. Makes perfect sense. And then later, she has the audacity to say she feels guilty about it, but when with her men it doesn’t seem to matter. I read that and was sputtering with anger because I think anyone in their right mind would think themselves as bad as…say…Belle Morte for doing that. But no. Because she did it so she could come back to her other brainwashed, one-dimensional sweeties, it’s okay. The heck it is because it’s not. I used to think she had a conscience…but apparently having lovers out the wazoo means that have one isn’t necessary anymore—along with having standards and morals.

 

*sigh* Okay, I’m going to can it there before I blow a gasket on this thing. It’s not worth it. All this already makes me feel ashamed to share the same first name as the “heroine” of this series and actually live in St. Louis.

Comments

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

That's what she keeps whining about. The height difference between Anita and Richard or JC is too great for regular missionary position. I don't see it unless either JC or Richard have abnormally elongated torsos. The height difference between my man and me is about 14" and we have no problems. So, I don't believe that her 10" difference would matter. I know LKH has her favorite height for a man. She's stated she prefers men who are no more than 5'8" or so. She's probably never been with someone that much taller than she is and she's never bothered to find out.

I realize it's a small thing to be annoyed about, but in Bullet she did the same whine in two successive chapters. First she's boinking Richard and he's too tall for regular missionary position, then she's boinking JC with the same comments. I guess if she was boinking Wicked and Truth there would be the same story.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

I guess I've always assumed Gary was tall, but maybe not?

For someone who prides herself of her sex scenes, she doesn't seem to have much imagination on how to go about it when it doesn't involve adding extra people.

[agrimlullaby.livejournal.com]

And apparently as of late, adding people means you just have someone lying there watching and commenting on what the other person should be feeling (*coughcough*SkinTrade*coughcough*)...? The fudge is that? A secret fantasy of LKH's?

If she's complaining so much about height in missionary...what have they been doing before now? I'm pretty sure they've (Blake/Ricard and Blake/JC) done it missionary style in more than a couple books before now, so what's the hold up? What changed? Is she shrinking? Or is this just LKH finding something "creative" to whine about?

Maybe that's where her creativity is going...into finding new things to whine about while still whining about the same things we've heard about and accepted from the get go.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

She may have written about this before, though I can't remember another instance. This was just so obvious and annoying because it was in back to back chapters.

And yes, Skin Trade was all about Anita getting boinked by whomever whilst another member of the penis parade sat by observing and talking about how tight n' wet she is. Sort of like a pimp having someone "try out" the new girl.

[agrimlullaby.livejournal.com]

If my attention lasts me long enough, I'll see if I can find evidence of this, but I honestly just DON'T remember ever being keyed in that height is oh so vital when it came to Blake having sex with her various men. Then again maybe I'm just that good at blocking out parts of the books I don't care to remember. I can only recall it being recent, but I'll check anyway.

It really is like a trail for the latest skank. And the fact that pretty much every man is saying that now seems...just ugh for lack of a better descriptive word. Not to mention that if she's having sex pretty much every day to possibly several times a day with several men, wouldn't that mean she's completely the opposite? Maybe I'm just not understanding the physics of an insane sex life...

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I personally think that by now Anita is about as "tight" as the Lincoln Tunnel. Especially since mamy of the members of the penis parade are renowned for their ginormous schlongs.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether Gary is tall or not. But the only way her constant whining that a woman who's 5'3" and a man who's slightly over 6' tall can't possibly do regular missionary position makes sense is if she's never experienced it and is just assuming. If she had ever been in the situation she would know it's possible/no problem.

Like I've said I don't know why this out of all the weird things LKH has written bothers me. I guess it's just that it's more evidence that she can't be bothered to find out if something she's written as fact is actually fact.