LKH Lashouts

A friend of mine has a tick-the-boxes form letter for online abortion debates.

We could have something like:

Dear Rabid LKH Fan:

I am:
[x] A fellow fan of LKH
[ ] A former fan of LKH
[ ] Neither, but I'm'a gonna reply anyhoo

I complain about LKH's work because:
[x] It used to be SO DAMN GOOD
[x] Her spelling is terrible
[x] The sex scenes are worse than the spelling
[ ] I am an embittered unpublished writer who can't believe LKH gets printed
[ ] I am bored
[x] Your anger amuses me

I still read LKH’s books because:
[x] I live in hope that she will kill Richard
[ ] I want to find out what happens to the characters
[ ] I seek out a glimmer of hope that she hasn’t really sold her soul
[x] I laugh at the sex scenes and read them aloud at slumber parties
[ ] I do not, in fact, read her books

I call myself “a fan” while complaining because:
[x] Being a fan and being a mindless sycophant are DIFFERENT THINGS
[ ] I DO like the books ... except for the bits I don’t
[ ] A freak flood carried away everything else on my bookshelves
[ ] I live in hope that things will get better

But I think it needs fleshing out a bit.