LKH's Hair Fantasy

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

I came across this picture on the Failblog, and immediately thought of LKH/Anita's hair fetish. 

more Poorly Dress
Sooooo....Nathaniel or Asher? Or one of the other interchangeable penises of the Rainbow Hair Harem Brigade?

 

Comments

[katekat]

DUDE, it's white, it's gotta be ... Frost, right???

(and yes, i gave up my LKH books and am too lazy to go search to make sure frost has that long of hair, but really, it's LKH, of course he does).

btw? EWWWWWWW. THAT IS ONE LONG DREAD.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

That... is one of the most disgusting things. Ever. Seriously.

The length is right to be Nathanial... Perhaps she needs to be forwarded the realities of ridiculously long hair?

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I kind of threw up a little in my mouth when I saw it.

I think LKH needs to be informed about the realities of many things. But the absurdly long hair has always been a pet peeve of mine, especially the whole 'strippers that use floor-length hair as dance prop.' There are not enough face-palms in the world for the idiocy of that idea.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

My tummy just shivered. In the bad way.

Of *course* they use it as a dancing prop! They gel it until it is nicely hardened and the hair *is* the stripping pole.

...The disgusting, matted, dragging, filthy, there-are-dead-birds-in-here stripping pole.

It's... uh... sexy?

[staringiscaring.livejournal.com]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M SEEING.

Anita seems to be permanently stuck in the 80s.

[mystoflare.livejournal.com]

Is that REAL? Holy crap, my longhair dog doesn't get matted fur that nasty (then again, we brush her out every other day).

Just...uhh...my eyes! The sad part is, I can easily see this being any one of Merry/Anita's men. If she's that neglectful of their needs, I can totally see them getting hair this awful and not giving a crap about it, because, you know, it takes away from zexxy times.
Poor guys. *gets biggest brush in her possession and prepares to tackle it*

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

There can be no zexxy times with hair like that!

[mystoflare.livejournal.com]

This is a great argument for wearing short hair, isn't it? Keeping out giant dreads *and* the Doomcrotch would be warded off because the man doesn't look femme enough for her to want to shag.

That said, I want to take some scissors to that poor guy's head. I can't imagine running around with that THING dragging on your head.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

Aaaaugh.

You know, I was just musing the other day on LKH's unrealistic hair descriptions (well, unrealistically beautiful anime hair that then made me think of Nathaniel's hair). Particularly in regards to how pretty much every person I've ever seen in real life that had butt-length or longer hair did not also have pretty hair. It gets scraggly and broken and thinned out in the last several inches or foot of the overall length. (Never mind the impracticalities of it getting caught on everything, etc.)

However, none have been so bad as that. That is just awful.

[subtle-shades.livejournal.com]

To be fair, as a child I knew several girls with extremely long *beautiful* hair. One had hair down to her waist and the other had hair down to her calves. (The girl with the longer hair alway wore it in a braid as thick as my wrist which shortened it to around her knees.)

But it was a *lot* of work, it was painful to brush when it tangled, and it took forever to wash/brush/style. And the moment they were considered "old enough" to make their own hair cut decisions, they got pixie cuts. It can be done, but it requires great hair genes and *at least* one other person to help you maintain it.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

Oh, waist-length hair I've seen looking lovely. Can't imagine trying to wrangle calf-length, though. And on a kid? Good grief.

[the-mome-wrath.livejournal.com]

Never mind the impracticalities of it getting caught on everything, etc.

Or have it get stuck under other people. I can't imagine how any of the men in either of LKH's series manage with all the time they seem to spend in piles.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

This gives me a funny mental image of Nathaniel trying to ride the bus, but people are sitting on his hair so he always misses his stop. Maybe some yakety sax playing in the background.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

I had butt-length hair and it looked pretty good (my hair grows really fast, so I ended up there while still getting the split ends cut at least 2-3 times a year so it wasn't that thinned out)
BUT I gave it up because it was too much of a hassle
No way to care for in an acceptable time frame, sometimes I really needed help to brush it after washing it, I needed to plan time in for washing it - drying it took ages even with a hair dryer ...
it got caught on things, I accidentally sat on the ends, and I woke up more than once tangled up so badly in my hair that I was a hard time untangling myself from the mess - not to mention how often I got grumpy with my bf because he sat on it, was lying on it, accidentally got tangled in it and so on

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

I had waist length hair into my late 20s. It's not so bad, though you have to spend some time tending it. I mostly kept it in a long braid for work. The one problem with that was inadvertently slapping people with it if they were standing nearby when I was making a quick turn. The one thing good about long hair is that you can lean back against it and it doesn't blow around when you have all the car windows down. That was an important consideration back in the days of few air-conditioned cars.

[pandaemonaeum.livejournal.com]

i have two female friends who have hair long enough that they can sit on it. It doesn't look like that. I have one male friend whose hair is longer than waist length, but isn't long enough to sit on. It doesn't look like that either. All of them have this beautiful, glossy, fall of hair that would send LKH into an ecstasy of purple prose. Oh, and the guy flicks it round in a way that a male stripper would be proud of. Because he can.

I have wavy hair, which is almost waist length. I like it to look a certain way but all I have to do to have a neat, glossy mane is wash it, condition it, brush it, and I have LKH-worthy hair.

I have one friend who has very long dreadlocks which look kind of messy, but that's her chosen look.

Everyone else I know who has long hair takes proper care of it. If you think everyone who has hair longer than mid-back has a scruffy mop like that guy, I'm sorry to disillusion you. Long hair does take a bit more care than short hair, but you need to deliberately neglect it for a LONG time to get it like that guy's hair.

The hair on the men in the faery pron is deliberately unrealistic, but the hair on the men in the AB:VH books is entirely achievable, if unusual. It's like the fashions - just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist :)

And I am now done with defending LKH, because it's making me feel dirty.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

I don't have an issue with waist length hair. In fact, my own hair is waist length. I use a ton of shampoo and carry a comb around to keep tangles down. I have to wrap it up in a bun for work, or tie it back to do anything productive.

Problem is, the men who have hair to their freakin' ankles, such as Asher and Nathaniel. And Nate supposedly can use his absurdly long hair as a prop for stripping. The way LKH describes this 'hair dancing' is completely unrealistic, unless Nate's hair is a separate and living entity that attached itself to Nate's head.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

And just to clarify: I'm aware that it is possible to have hair to one's ankles and still have it look nice. It just takes, as many have pointed out, hours of care. Hours that the men of Anita's world really don't have. Asher is passed out during the day, and nights are devoted to sexxy times. Not to mention, I can't imagine how anyone could try to fight with all that hair flying around. And most of the men don't try to tie their hair back, they let it fall down in 'a long spill of gold/auburn/ebony/insert overly florid adjective here.'

'ecstasy of purple prose' made me giggle. I can just imagine one of Anita's screaming/nail raking/bone breaking orgasms over the sight of such hair. :)

[wanderingworlds.livejournal.com]

I imagined those girls from the circus who hang from their heads by their long hair, but with Nathaniel doing a strip tease with his hair instead.

[gator-grrrl.livejournal.com]

This poor guy's hair looks like a huge length of gunk that was extracted from a giant clogged drain and then rolled on the floor under the bed of someone who never vacuums (like Anita Blake) to collect all the dust balls and other detritus. Apparently he's never had a haircut in his entire life. Repulsive!