Kiss the Dead: Linked Amazon bookflog
Sep. 17th, 2012 10:14 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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lkh_lashoutsRemember the Kiss the Dead bookflog that I mentioned coming across in my last post?
For those interested, I went back and found the same bookflog so you all can enjoy it as well!
http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-The-Dead-Book-Flog/forum/FxTO3NBR31RJME/TxJHAGA5M4KT3Z/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_ef_tft_tp?_encoding=UTF8&asin=0425247546&tag=5336432714-20
The highlights (in my opinion) include...
* Anita interrogating a vampire and getting her three-inch stiletto heel stuck in his chest when she kicks him so that when he falls backward, she gets taken with him and her thong panties get shown to everyone, teehee! How awful! This is surely a way of making Anita seem flawed (hint, flaws do not mean 'totally incompetent at something you're supposed to be the best at' like Anita supposedly is at dealing with vampires) and not an excuse to show off her sexy undies to all the boys without her MEANING to flash them. Gad, can you imagine the old Anita showing up to work in heels at all, let alone heels with a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings? There's really no job outside the sex industry I can think of where that's anywhere near office-appropriate, let alone when doing police work.
* She can apparently feed on rage now? Rage that is like cupcakes? Anita, I thought you were a living member of Belle Morte's bloodline, not the Dragon's? But feel free to switch if you like, at least the Dragon doesn't carry that ardeur nonsense!
* Apparently, vampires label the four vampire hunters they fear most after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Naturally, Anita is one of these. She, ever-modest, says "Let me guess, I'm Death" and the vampire tells her that's Edward (DUH) and that Anita is War because she's killed more vampires than Death. Um, what? Listen, whether you die from war, famine, or plague, you still DIE. Death gets you in the end regardless of cause, therefore shouldn't Death be the label for the hunter who has killed the most?
* Anita looks at a vampire boy she doesn't know and wonders why his hair isn't longer. GEE MAYBE BECAUSE MOST GUYS, DEAD OR ALIVE, ARE NOT TRYING TO BE RAPUNZEL LIKE YOUR HAREM? And then finds out JC steals energy from other vampires to grow his own hair, lololol forever.
* Bitchy jealous bimbos hate Anita because they think she is going out with some hot new police guy she's just met who wants to learn how to kill monsters from Anita and divulges he is actually a gay man in the closet (not much of a closet if you're telling people you've just met?). He agrees to date said bitchy jealous bimbos so they will stop being mean to Anita over him. Wut.
* Remember Cynric? That teenaged weretiger who is Anita's blue tiger to call (because she has a tiger to call of each color!) and who likes to be called Cyn (pronounced Sin)? Hooray, he's eighteen now! Yes, he wasn't before. Ew. Although to be honest, him now being eighteen does NOT make anything about his relationship with Anita better. See, Anita and JC are acting as his guardians (JC legally his guardian, Anita doing mommy stuff for him) and he's living with them (along with the other sweeties) and Anita goes to his PTA meetings like his mom because he is still in high school. Apparently it makes her feel awkward to be doing this AND banging him. UH WELL IT SHOULD. God you are a fucking skeezy sexual predator, Anita. It gets even worse when one considers this tidbit from Cyn's entry on an AB Wiki: "Cynric's youth makes him particularly vulnerable to the way Anita forges metaphysically bonds with her servants, leaving Cynric besotted with her for an unknown length of time. His level of devotion, however, does not appear to entirely remove his free will." Oh, not ENTIRELY? Just partly then? Well then that's just hunky-dory and not creepy/rapey at all, carry on! Which you have been since he was just a junior (he's now a senior) which makes me wonder why you're just NOW feeling weird about it.
* At the end of the book it is noted that Nathaniel is teaching Cynric how to strip-tease so he can do a private dance for Anita. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH NO IN THE WORLD.
* Anita thinks that using a ball-gag in bondage takes away the ability of the sub to say no. NOT HOW IT WORKS, HONEY. Helloooo, non-verbal signals? I thought you did ~research~ on this stuff, Hamilton?
* Nicky the lion, who used to be a bad guy until, according to an AB wiki, she "roll his mind completely, making him her slave" which he "does not seem to mind" is now the Rex of the werelions. Because having your leader be the slave of someone else is exactly what any group of wereanimals would want. And I guess that makes her the Regina, of course? Oh, and the term for such a slave is being a Bride, as in Bride of Dracula, nevermind that the three lady vamps in the novel were never actually referred to as such and people just started calling them that later. In addition to this being stupid as fuck, I guess Anita could never have a groom, because that would make her the bride, how girly, ew, she's Prince Charming dammit!
* Anita's gold tiger to call is a guy named Mephistopheles. Since that's such a mouthful, he's usually called Devil or just Dev. His sister is named Good Angel. Seriously. He and Anita have sex, then instead of cleaning up they decide to just nap as they are. When they awake, they find that this has resulted in the condom they used being glued INSIDE Anita and to his genitals. I cannot make this up.
* I have like zero idea what the actual plot is aside from it getting a few chapters in the beginning, wrapped up in a few chapters at the end, and the rest of the book having nothing to do with it at all. Oh yeah, and Asher is the new Richard.
For those interested, I went back and found the same bookflog so you all can enjoy it as well!
http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-The-Dead-Book-Flog/forum/FxTO3NBR31RJME/TxJHAGA5M4KT3Z/1/ref=cm_cd_fp_ef_tft_tp?_encoding=UTF8&asin=0425247546&tag=5336432714-20
The highlights (in my opinion) include...
* Anita interrogating a vampire and getting her three-inch stiletto heel stuck in his chest when she kicks him so that when he falls backward, she gets taken with him and her thong panties get shown to everyone, teehee! How awful! This is surely a way of making Anita seem flawed (hint, flaws do not mean 'totally incompetent at something you're supposed to be the best at' like Anita supposedly is at dealing with vampires) and not an excuse to show off her sexy undies to all the boys without her MEANING to flash them. Gad, can you imagine the old Anita showing up to work in heels at all, let alone heels with a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings? There's really no job outside the sex industry I can think of where that's anywhere near office-appropriate, let alone when doing police work.
* She can apparently feed on rage now? Rage that is like cupcakes? Anita, I thought you were a living member of Belle Morte's bloodline, not the Dragon's? But feel free to switch if you like, at least the Dragon doesn't carry that ardeur nonsense!
* Apparently, vampires label the four vampire hunters they fear most after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Naturally, Anita is one of these. She, ever-modest, says "Let me guess, I'm Death" and the vampire tells her that's Edward (DUH) and that Anita is War because she's killed more vampires than Death. Um, what? Listen, whether you die from war, famine, or plague, you still DIE. Death gets you in the end regardless of cause, therefore shouldn't Death be the label for the hunter who has killed the most?
* Anita looks at a vampire boy she doesn't know and wonders why his hair isn't longer. GEE MAYBE BECAUSE MOST GUYS, DEAD OR ALIVE, ARE NOT TRYING TO BE RAPUNZEL LIKE YOUR HAREM? And then finds out JC steals energy from other vampires to grow his own hair, lololol forever.
* Bitchy jealous bimbos hate Anita because they think she is going out with some hot new police guy she's just met who wants to learn how to kill monsters from Anita and divulges he is actually a gay man in the closet (not much of a closet if you're telling people you've just met?). He agrees to date said bitchy jealous bimbos so they will stop being mean to Anita over him. Wut.
* Remember Cynric? That teenaged weretiger who is Anita's blue tiger to call (because she has a tiger to call of each color!) and who likes to be called Cyn (pronounced Sin)? Hooray, he's eighteen now! Yes, he wasn't before. Ew. Although to be honest, him now being eighteen does NOT make anything about his relationship with Anita better. See, Anita and JC are acting as his guardians (JC legally his guardian, Anita doing mommy stuff for him) and he's living with them (along with the other sweeties) and Anita goes to his PTA meetings like his mom because he is still in high school. Apparently it makes her feel awkward to be doing this AND banging him. UH WELL IT SHOULD. God you are a fucking skeezy sexual predator, Anita. It gets even worse when one considers this tidbit from Cyn's entry on an AB Wiki: "Cynric's youth makes him particularly vulnerable to the way Anita forges metaphysically bonds with her servants, leaving Cynric besotted with her for an unknown length of time. His level of devotion, however, does not appear to entirely remove his free will." Oh, not ENTIRELY? Just partly then? Well then that's just hunky-dory and not creepy/rapey at all, carry on! Which you have been since he was just a junior (he's now a senior) which makes me wonder why you're just NOW feeling weird about it.
* At the end of the book it is noted that Nathaniel is teaching Cynric how to strip-tease so he can do a private dance for Anita. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH NO IN THE WORLD.
* Anita thinks that using a ball-gag in bondage takes away the ability of the sub to say no. NOT HOW IT WORKS, HONEY. Helloooo, non-verbal signals? I thought you did ~research~ on this stuff, Hamilton?
* Nicky the lion, who used to be a bad guy until, according to an AB wiki, she "roll his mind completely, making him her slave" which he "does not seem to mind" is now the Rex of the werelions. Because having your leader be the slave of someone else is exactly what any group of wereanimals would want. And I guess that makes her the Regina, of course? Oh, and the term for such a slave is being a Bride, as in Bride of Dracula, nevermind that the three lady vamps in the novel were never actually referred to as such and people just started calling them that later. In addition to this being stupid as fuck, I guess Anita could never have a groom, because that would make her the bride, how girly, ew, she's Prince Charming dammit!
* Anita's gold tiger to call is a guy named Mephistopheles. Since that's such a mouthful, he's usually called Devil or just Dev. His sister is named Good Angel. Seriously. He and Anita have sex, then instead of cleaning up they decide to just nap as they are. When they awake, they find that this has resulted in the condom they used being glued INSIDE Anita and to his genitals. I cannot make this up.
* I have like zero idea what the actual plot is aside from it getting a few chapters in the beginning, wrapped up in a few chapters at the end, and the rest of the book having nothing to do with it at all. Oh yeah, and Asher is the new Richard.
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