Blogflog - Carving words out of flesh

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: Carving words out of flesh
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

The moon hangs in the sky glowing like white-gold. I can see it as I write this, and I see the beauty of it, I do. I’ve found a new band that I’m loving, Imagine Dragons. I’ve got their album up full volume roaring around me. All three dogs are scattered through the office asleep even with the happy thud of music. I was never allowed indoor pets as a child, and having the dogs fulfills a wish I’ve had since I was very small.

I’m in the middle of a great scene with Anita about to wade into a fight between the police and the undead. We have zombies! Except for the jeopardy to my imaginary friends it’s a great scene, the kind I used to love, but I’m hitting one of those moments that just happens when you’re writing a big book. I don’t know if it’s the size, so that you begin to despair at every finishing the journey, or something else. I just know it always hits somewhere between 300-500 pages when I realize that 500 won’t see me done. Yay, for you guys, more to read, but I still gotta write it and my deadline does not change. So, on one hand I’m having a great time fighting zombies on paper and seeing new facets of my characters as they rise to the occasion, but on the other hand the amount of pages stretching before me . . . it’s a little daunting. But between this sentence and last our Japanese chins woke up and invited me to play and it’s impossible to be unhappy after playing on the floor with two adorable dogs that happen to be yours. Sasquatch, our pug, watched from his bed confident I would pet him after the rough housing was over. His expectations were fulfilled, lazy ol’ pug.

I am resolved to finish this scene tonight. I’m not sure why but I feel if I get past it that some magical page barrier will be past. This feeling is usually right and once past a certain point the book gains steam and flows. I’m really looking forward to that part of the writing process. Right now, I’m stuck in the part of writing where it feels like I’m carving the words out of my own flesh. It hurts, it leaves a mark, and you begin to worry about scars, but I’ve learned that if I just keep carving eventually the right symbol is painted on my skin and the muse and I are one again. Until that time I have the moon, music, the dogs, and myself. Sometimes the solitariness of my job is not my favorite part, especially when the dark is populated with demons from old issues, but then one of the ways I exorcise my demons is by writing them out in fiction. And no, before someone asks, I have never really had to fight zombies. Sorry, fiction.

Comments

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

Nothing like Hamilton telling her publishers, "You know that draft that's due now? Yeah, it's only half done". And don't be deceived by the number of "pages" to think she's working hard. The way LaLa does her page set up for her drafts a 1000 page draft ends up being her typical 350 page book.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

The worst of it is, she "has to" write longer, so by the time the actual draft reaches her publishers she has never actually gone over it and cut out all the extraneous crap.

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

I'm glad she clarified at the end there she's never actually fought zombies. I was wondering.

As much as I hate to wish failure on anyone, I can't help think it would be better for LKH if her publisher dropped her about now. It sounds like the books have taken a massive dive as far as sales go and her blogs, tweets, and FB rants don't strike me as the words of someone who loves what they're doing. Being dropped would be gutting but maybe having an excuse to let go of Anita and Merry would do her some good.

[magdalen77.livejournal.com]

She's severely burnt out. It's obvious she doesn't care about what she's writing anymore. It would be a great mercy if her publisher refused to renew her contract.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I don't think she's capable of letting go of Anita. The line between truth and fiction is so incredibly blurred, and LKH has all those demons to exorcise out on paper.

Though if she did get dropped, can you imagine the blog? Especially after the whole thing about why there's no Merry book this year about not wanting to fuck with Merry's happy home life?

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, they're boring demons. How much does "I'm being judged for being a strong, sexy woman who doesn't need a man to protect me and instead has a harem of men who I fuck on a regular basis. Yes, all of them. You're just jealous of how enlightened I am!" need to be exorcised before it's over and done with?

[plastraa.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA! forever. I snorted for real at your comment.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Not to mention how short she is. Or how she's so "guy" and more guy than actual guys with guy-bits. Naughty guy-bits. And all the guys are like "holy shit, you're just like a guy! But you're a girl!" and their minds are TOTALLY BLOWN. WHOA. And then something something heteroflexible that flat out does it for her.

[allthingspoison.livejournal.com]

This comment is GOLDEN.

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

"Anita is so happy, dammit! She's too happy! She's too happy for anything! She asked me to give her peace and quiet for Christmas and so I did and you're all mean for wanting me to write about her when she's so freaking happy! Everyone's happy! How can I write about happy people when they're so happy and I have so much angst to work through forever! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY."

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the side of "OMG You dare ask me to hurt these people who are my closest friends? You monsters. THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL TO ME SOB. Obviously you're not emotionally invested like I am and any writer that can do terrible things to their characters is an unfeeling hack. Now I need to weep over how this scene is so taxing to me and my imaginary friends because someone said something mean in my childhood."

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I BLEED FOR THESE IMAGINARY PEOPLE WHO ARE TOTALLY REAL! ADMIRE MY UNFALTERING WORK ETHIC, DAMN YOU!"

[dwg.livejournal.com]

"AND I DO WORK HARD! SO HARD THAT I FORGET HOW TO HAVE FUN. Now I must go pack for a weekend visiting friends interstate because I need to play as hard as I work."

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

Isn't it awful that we're not actually parodying her?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

If anything, it's a little bit terrifying.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

"We have zombies!"

So does Walking Dead...and it has way better action/fight scenes and is an infinitely better story with shocking twists and in-depth character growth and badass women who could kick Anita's ass any day. I really would like to see Anita try to face down Michonne and lose her head.

Sorry LKH, you may try to tease us and tempt us with 'zombies', since you know that's what the young cool kids are into these days and you are so desperate to be like one; but we all know what little zombie fight action we get will be stilted, boring and buried beneath pages of whining angst and IKEA sex.

[shadwing.livejournal.com]

*face palm* You hear that sound? It's the sound of her next contract being even less plush than this one...

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

That opening line reads like a parody. In fact, it reads like Cold Comfort Farm ("The golden orb hung in the azure sky"). The difference is that LKH is serious.

[lady-fellshot.livejournal.com]

I would be more impressed with any potential fight if no metaphysical stuff took place (or was severely pared down) and they all just used flamethrowers. As it is, I expect Anita to be naked and sweaty at the end with a bunch of cops uncomfortably trying to look in any direction but Anita's.

I would love for her to drop Anita like Marley's chains but as dwg mentioned, LKH won't do that.

[plastraa.livejournal.com]

^This!

I sense that she's having a difficult time because Anita is still wearing panties. Get those pants off and let Anita solve the problem with her magical...uh 'womanliness-nectory' parts, and stuff. Ta da! Problem solved, sex the zombies back into the grave.

[maedren.livejournal.com]

Uh... won't lie. I'm really really a little scared about the "dark is populated with demons from old issues". I DO NOT want to read 7 pages about how she's not white enough AGAIN.

[the-mome-wrath.livejournal.com]

I just hope this fight scene she's writing is an actual fight scene and not one of those metaphysical staring contests. I'm kinda glad to see zombies coming back into the series though. It's been a long time since they've been in the books.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

I think we're all hoping that this fight scene will actually include fighting...but our hopes have been cruelly dashed so many times, that I'm beginning to think that we are being unfairly optimistic when it comes to LKH.

[rodentfanatic.livejournal.com]

Right now, I’m stuck in the part of writing where it feels like I’m carving the words out of my own flesh. It hurts, it leaves a mark, and you begin to worry about scars, but I’ve learned that if I just keep carving eventually the right symbol is painted on my skin and the muse and I are one again

As someone with a history of self-harm, the title of the blog reminded me enough of said problem, but this...yeah this is way, way out of line in a really personal way for me. LKH, someone people actually DO carve into their flesh, it's a real problem and not an edgy metaphor, kthnx.

[astronauta.livejournal.com]

This woman. I like how she sometimes talks about how crazy some of her fans are -- believing that vampires are real, sending them gifts, etc.

Then she blogs about how real her characters are to her.

[plastraa.livejournal.com]

I feel the same amount of pity for her busy, hard, writing life as I do for multi-gazillionaires when they whinge about paying their employees a decent wage...which is to say NO PITY AT ALL! It's your job lady, and if you were going to actually do anything other than fling Anita's crotch at the problem I would probably feel something other than 'meh' for your woe is me. *shrugging in my heartless fashion"

[igenlode.livejournal.com]

My first reaction to this blogpost is "Why are you writing a big book, then? Why not tighten it up a bit...?"

It's not as if the readers want loads of padding just for padding's sake.