Facebook flog - Jan 24 2014

[blogfloggery.livejournal.com]

Link: Jan 24 2014, 14:06
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's Facebook. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.

I know my characters. If I could draw I could give you their faces. If I could magically let you feel what I feel, I know the difference in their skin when my character runs her hands across their bodies. I would know the smell of Micah's skin, as separate from Nathaniel's in the dark. I could hug most of them blind-folded and tell you who it was by the way they would fill my arms. I know the taste, texture, smell, of them the way I know real life lovers, and in some ways better, because my characters don't hide, or withhold like real people can. I know that special smile Nathaniel has the way I know my husband's, it's not the same smile, but it's special to both of them; the real and the not so. (Please do not let that last contribute to the rumor that Nathaniel is based on my husband, Jon, because it's not true, but I know my husband better than anyone so he springs to mind for such analogies.) I know the way Jean-Claude turns his head, how his hair falls when he looks down, how he fusses with the cuffs of his shirt when he's nervous. I can "see" the movement of it in my head, to the point where it seems almost wrong that they only exist in my imagination and in my books. There are moments when I think if they reached out and touched me for real, I wouldn't be scared, it would almost be a relief, a "oh, there you are," moment.

Thanks to Michelle Belanger, another author, whose comment on Twitter helped inspire this post.

Comments

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

She is a week away from her self-imposed actually-way-past-due deadline.

I think her editor is snarling the following at her:

I know your fucking wordcount, or lack thereof. If I could draw, I would depict exactly what I want to have happen to your characters at this point. If I could magically let you feel what I feel, I [would let you] know the difference in my blood pressure when I run my gaze along any other author's 'final drafts' and yours. I would [let you] know the smell of coffee at 4 AM, as separate from my pounding headache in the dark as I try to bash this monstrosity of yours into readable shape. I could be handed excerpts from your books completely out of context and tell you which book it was by the way my brain started screaming. I know the sight, sound, and stench of them the way I know my worst enemies in real life, and (in some ways) better, because your books don't hide or withhold your bizarre and repellent worldviews like most people [attempt to disguise] theirs. I know that special smile my spouse gives me when I'm subjected to one of your books the way a terminally-ill patient knows that of its nurse - it's not the same smile, but it's rather similar. (Please do not let that last contribute to the rumor that I start asking for medication when I start reading your fifteenth blog post about Jon, your husband, Jon when you're over a month overdue, because it's not true, but I know that I feel terminally ill around midway through editing one of your "masterpieces", so that springs to mind for such analogies.) I know the way a strong bottle of vodka turns my head, how my tears fall when I look down, how I fuss with my letter of resignation when I'm almost done with one of your atrocities. I can "see" the movement of my bile in my throat, to the point where it seems almost wrong that that I've managed to avoid throwing up thus far. There are moments when I think that if I passed out and my doctor forbade me to edit any more of your books for real, I wouldn't be scared - it would almost be a relief, a "oh, thank you God" moment.

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

....now I just want to send flowers to that poor person and console them in some wayT___T

But this is somewhat different from her 'usual-past-deadline-shivers' - way creepier and obnoxious. She was always like that neighbour who always wants to tell you about their pet's lives whenever you met them - but now she chases you down and corners you in the elevator to do it=___=

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

I think everyone does.

Technically, she's YEARS overdue for this book - wasn't it supposed to come out in December 2012? I expect the deadline pressure is correspondingly vicious, given that Anita sales are dropping steadily and the Merry sales are at least salvageable. And LKH has thrown out over 100 pages at least once, as I recall.

LKH-watching is going to be veeeery interesting soon...

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

I am apprehensive yet excited.
Is it even a thing?

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of the snark community is bracing for impact yet watching eagerly in anticipation. So yes, it is a thing.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

It is definitely a thing, and either there's a word for it or we should steal one from the Germans.

[ravens-shadow.livejournal.com]

Expectant schadenfreude?

[deadsong.livejournal.com]

Schadenticipation?

[cheeky-duckie.livejournal.com]

I'd like to vote for this one. I want to use this word forever.

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

While I believe that is almost exactly what her editor would say to her, one part sticks out as unrealistic:

I could be handed excerpts from your books completely out of context and tell you which book it was

They'd have to have superpowers.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

...Okay, fair enough. Though perhaps the flashbacks are intense enough that they can tell versions of Micah's Tale Of Woe apart by discerning analysis of comma-misplacement. :P

[lliira (from livejournal.com)]

Or the way she spelled "ardeur" this time.

[pryzmkess.livejournal.com]

This. Just this, over and over on endless repeat in her brain, please.