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lkh_lashoutsLink: The least wonderful time of the year
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.
Christmas used to be my favorite holiday of the year, but that was awhile ago. I realized this year that I hate Christmas, the whole Christmas season, but unlike Dr. Seuss’ Grinch I don’t want to take the holiday away from everyone else, I just want free of it myself.
It’s Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year and the reason for all the celebrations near that astrological happening is that our ancestors were afraid that the sun might not return. They were an agricultural people that understood that without the heat of the sun, they were pretty much screwed, so they threw a party to invite the sun back, to wish him back to life and strength so that we could all live another year. It was the rebirth of the sun long before Christianity made it the birth of the son of God. I get throwing a great, big party to keep our spirits up. It’s like whistling in the dark when you hear that scary noise. We celebrate Winter Solstice because in the darkest, coldest part of the year we need to light a few candles against the dark, eat good food, drink strong spirits, visit with friends and family, play games, tell stories, and do all the things that make us feel positive and less afraid of the darkness. If that’s what the holiday was actually about, I could get behind that, even enjoy it, but that’s not what Solstice, Christmas, Yule, Hanukah – pick your holiday – has become.
The Winter Holiday season has become a billion dollar industry. It has become the time when a lot of businesses make the majority of their profit for the year and the only way they can do that is by us buying things from them. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, I am a great fan of capitalism, being a capitalist myself, but the pressure to buy gifts, the perfect gift, and find that perfect gift year after year is a lot of pressure. The message that somehow if you don’t spend enough on your family, especially the children, that you’re bad parents. I love Santa Claus, but for those parents that can’t afford the big gifts, it is an ideal that leaves a lot of small children across the country disappointed on Christmas morning.
And let me just say now, I feel totally cheated by years of Hallmark and Folger’s Coffee commercials, because life is almost never like that, or at least my life wasn’t. These commercials, and others like them, are the romance novels of family life; they set unrealistic expectations that leave most of us feeling like there must be something wrong with us because we aren’t that warm, that loving, that perfect.
Real life is never perfect. It’s not supposed to be. So let me strike a blow for all of us that are struggling this Christmas morning with reality versus what we wanted the day to be. It’s okay that your dinner wasn’t perfect. It’s perfectly human to burn at least one dish, or have that turkey a little dry, or whatever went wrong with the big meal. Take a deep breath, let it out slow, and tell anyone that complains that next year they get to cook the dinner.
Did you not find the perfect present for everyone on your list? Me either. It’s okay, your friends and family love you anyway, and anyone who doesn’t love you because their gift didn’t meet their standards, why do you care? If they only love you for what you buy them, I’m not sure that’s love. Love really doesn’t have a price tag. Do the best you can, and then enjoy the day with your family. It’s about the people, not the things, try to remember that.
Now, if part of the problem is the family, that’s harder. If your family is not a positive in your life, then you do not have to spend the holidays with them. There, I’ve said it, if your family is toxic to you and spends most of the time criticizing and cutting you down, then you don’t have to stay and keep listening to it. If your family is so awful to you, or each other, that the idea of spending it alone sounds better, then do that. There really are those of us who have had points in our lives where spending the holidays alone was less stressful, or even less frightening, than spending it with our birth families. If you are in that place in your life, honor it. It is a privilege for your family to see you, not a right. Privileges have to be earned by good, loving behavior. Please remember, that if you only visit them when they are loving and good to be around, but they’ve never, ever been that, you may never see your family again. Are you okay with this? If so, then rock on, and enjoy your solo and less stress-filled holiday. If you are not okay with it, then ignore all this advice, good luck, and God speed.
This is supposed to be a holy day, regardless of what exactly that holiness means to you, it is still supposed to be a celebration of joy, light, love, and hope. Instead its become an emotional meat grinder for a lot of us. I want to like this holiday again. I want to feel hopeful that life can be like those tear-jerkingly happy commercials for more than a moment at a time. I want to feel a connection to community, family, and faith that’s in all the TV specials, but that seems scarce in real life. I want to really believe this is the most wonderful time of the year instead of the most stressful. I’m not sure how to get back to the wonderful and out of the stressful, but I am going to try. Here’s to next year, hoping it will be better, happier, healthier, less dramatic, less traumatic, safer, gentler, more happy excited than adrenalin pumping excited, productive, loving, hopeful, helpful, and just all together better. Blessed Solstice! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Merry Yule! Damn it!
Disclaimer: This blog entry is verbatim, as originally posted on LKH's blog. Copyright belongs to Ma Petite Enterprises.
Christmas used to be my favorite holiday of the year, but that was awhile ago. I realized this year that I hate Christmas, the whole Christmas season, but unlike Dr. Seuss’ Grinch I don’t want to take the holiday away from everyone else, I just want free of it myself.
It’s Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year and the reason for all the celebrations near that astrological happening is that our ancestors were afraid that the sun might not return. They were an agricultural people that understood that without the heat of the sun, they were pretty much screwed, so they threw a party to invite the sun back, to wish him back to life and strength so that we could all live another year. It was the rebirth of the sun long before Christianity made it the birth of the son of God. I get throwing a great, big party to keep our spirits up. It’s like whistling in the dark when you hear that scary noise. We celebrate Winter Solstice because in the darkest, coldest part of the year we need to light a few candles against the dark, eat good food, drink strong spirits, visit with friends and family, play games, tell stories, and do all the things that make us feel positive and less afraid of the darkness. If that’s what the holiday was actually about, I could get behind that, even enjoy it, but that’s not what Solstice, Christmas, Yule, Hanukah – pick your holiday – has become.
The Winter Holiday season has become a billion dollar industry. It has become the time when a lot of businesses make the majority of their profit for the year and the only way they can do that is by us buying things from them. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, I am a great fan of capitalism, being a capitalist myself, but the pressure to buy gifts, the perfect gift, and find that perfect gift year after year is a lot of pressure. The message that somehow if you don’t spend enough on your family, especially the children, that you’re bad parents. I love Santa Claus, but for those parents that can’t afford the big gifts, it is an ideal that leaves a lot of small children across the country disappointed on Christmas morning.
And let me just say now, I feel totally cheated by years of Hallmark and Folger’s Coffee commercials, because life is almost never like that, or at least my life wasn’t. These commercials, and others like them, are the romance novels of family life; they set unrealistic expectations that leave most of us feeling like there must be something wrong with us because we aren’t that warm, that loving, that perfect.
Real life is never perfect. It’s not supposed to be. So let me strike a blow for all of us that are struggling this Christmas morning with reality versus what we wanted the day to be. It’s okay that your dinner wasn’t perfect. It’s perfectly human to burn at least one dish, or have that turkey a little dry, or whatever went wrong with the big meal. Take a deep breath, let it out slow, and tell anyone that complains that next year they get to cook the dinner.
Did you not find the perfect present for everyone on your list? Me either. It’s okay, your friends and family love you anyway, and anyone who doesn’t love you because their gift didn’t meet their standards, why do you care? If they only love you for what you buy them, I’m not sure that’s love. Love really doesn’t have a price tag. Do the best you can, and then enjoy the day with your family. It’s about the people, not the things, try to remember that.
Now, if part of the problem is the family, that’s harder. If your family is not a positive in your life, then you do not have to spend the holidays with them. There, I’ve said it, if your family is toxic to you and spends most of the time criticizing and cutting you down, then you don’t have to stay and keep listening to it. If your family is so awful to you, or each other, that the idea of spending it alone sounds better, then do that. There really are those of us who have had points in our lives where spending the holidays alone was less stressful, or even less frightening, than spending it with our birth families. If you are in that place in your life, honor it. It is a privilege for your family to see you, not a right. Privileges have to be earned by good, loving behavior. Please remember, that if you only visit them when they are loving and good to be around, but they’ve never, ever been that, you may never see your family again. Are you okay with this? If so, then rock on, and enjoy your solo and less stress-filled holiday. If you are not okay with it, then ignore all this advice, good luck, and God speed.
This is supposed to be a holy day, regardless of what exactly that holiness means to you, it is still supposed to be a celebration of joy, light, love, and hope. Instead its become an emotional meat grinder for a lot of us. I want to like this holiday again. I want to feel hopeful that life can be like those tear-jerkingly happy commercials for more than a moment at a time. I want to feel a connection to community, family, and faith that’s in all the TV specials, but that seems scarce in real life. I want to really believe this is the most wonderful time of the year instead of the most stressful. I’m not sure how to get back to the wonderful and out of the stressful, but I am going to try. Here’s to next year, hoping it will be better, happier, healthier, less dramatic, less traumatic, safer, gentler, more happy excited than adrenalin pumping excited, productive, loving, hopeful, helpful, and just all together better. Blessed Solstice! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Merry Yule! Damn it!
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no subject
Date: 2015-12-25 08:45 pm (UTC)Blah blah digs at biofamily blah blah hate Christmas blah blah love Christmas blah blah paganistic revisions blah blah privileges blah blah I love Christmas. Methinks LKH took a few "strong spirits" to chase away the darkity dark and this is the result of her Saturnalian endeavours.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-25 09:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-25 09:15 pm (UTC)This exists only in her head.
I feel totally cheated by years of Hallmark and Folger’s Coffee commercials, because life is almost never like that
Is she three years old? Who expects life to be like commercials?
I want to feel hopeful that life can be like those tear-jerkingly happy commercials
Wow. That's her hope? For life to be like a COMMERCIAL? Just -- wow.
And she can fuck right off with her insult about romance novels. First, most of us know the difference between fantasy and reality, unlike her. Second, it's not an "unrealistic expectation" to have a happy marriage with great sex at all.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-25 09:50 pm (UTC)"We've secretly replaced Jonathon with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if LKH notices!"
...Also, the winter solstice was four days ago now--though it's still the solstice season.
Also also, LKH, could you make up your mind? "Boo commercialization, yay capitalism!" doesn't work, and you even seem to understand there's a logic flaw there, you just didn't want it to interfere with you saying what you wanted to say while ignoring the implications thereof.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-25 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 09:03 am (UTC)Hush, now. LKH's world is very small. She doesn't know about hemispheres.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 09:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 01:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 09:24 pm (UTC)And ack! You really weren't exaggerating!
no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 11:09 pm (UTC)Such an awkward commercial.
(Also I think the most offensive thing is the guy fresh from West Africa thinks FOLGERS is real coffee).
no subject
Date: 2015-12-26 11:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-28 02:04 am (UTC)Like I'm sorry you're worried about buying gifts, but literally until things shook out like they did today I hadn't bought my boyfriend a present at all because having to suddenly move isn't cheap, especially considering a deposit plus the first month of rent and trying to work out a roommate situation. Darn that commercialization, except you aren't slinging coffees at lightspeed literally trying to keep up with said commercialization. Also thanks to that stupid, fricking information leak the retail store had closer to last year now we have to manually input the gift cards because we can't slide any type of magnetic strip on our side of the register, and unless you have the guest painstakingly slide them just right (not too fast and not too slow Goldilocks) on the pin pad card reader it's actually faster to just type all of the numbers in. Sure please hand me that whole stack of gift cards and hold up my line, merry fucking holidays.
Like... realistically isn't she way freer of it than anyone else? Can't the whole household come to a mutual agreement that they don't have to do a big thing as far as presents and stuff especially since her child is in college now and they literally just went to the house of mouse for her birthday or whatever??????? Just sayin'. Not to mention if they feel obligated to have a big family thing with a dinner and whatever it's not like they have to schedule it around a 9 to 5 job. I mean they have at least eight hands they can put to work in that kitchen which I'm sure isn't tiny.
Don't get me wrong I'm sure everyone has different types of stress for the holiday, but I really want to know how she could be more above it than she already is???
Sorry there was probably some venting in there, a lot of venting in there, but things are actually working out now so I assure you all that I'm happy to be on the right track (just disappointed at having to do a little hopscotch while figuring things out).
no subject
Date: 2015-12-28 05:50 pm (UTC)I guess the "perfect gift" mentality is a luxury... those of us working retail are so busy trying to take care of everyone else's gift purchases that we're lucky if we come up with something creative. Half of my family buys gifts on the internet or just straight up asks each other what we want. Hell, my favorite gift this year was a sweater my mom bought me, and a gift card to the grocery store.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-28 09:15 pm (UTC)Why can't she just say "It sucks that Christmas/Solstice/Whatever has become so commercialized." and leave out all the rest of her usual garbage?