Blog Flog: "Guns, play acting, and more research"

[pith]

Blog Flog: "Guns, play acting, and more research"
Link: http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2006/08/guns-play-acting-and-more-research.html

It's full of wank, from the "OMG I had to spoil the story for my Jonny!" to "Look at how we get down with our bad RPG selves", but the last few lines irked me with their irony.

It drives me nuts when I'm reading along, and find that a writer obviously didn't do any research. I'm okay with a problem here, or there, but when it's blatantly obvious that they treated the material with no respect, it just ruins my enjoyment of the story. Research, research, research.

"Treat[ing] the material with no respect"? That's basically how she treats the English language, punctuation, the supernatural genre, empowered women.... It's a long list, one we've covered many times.

So I fail to see how SHE doesn't get that her rampant errors ruin the "enjoyment of the story" for her readers. Maybe I'm pickier than most, but yes, spelling matters. Punctuation matters. For a blog entry, I don't care as much because those are meant to be immediate. Novels, however, are bodies of work. They represent a writer. Speaking as an aspiring writer, I'd want to make damn good and sure that any novel with my name on the cover was as good as I could make it.

And then there's the whole research thing. I know there are differing opinions. Personally, I think some research is fine, but too much kills a story for me. For a lot of writers—LKH included—it seems like they use research to take the place of ideas and plot. Maybe a gun nut really wants to know about bullet casings and such. If it's relevant to the story, by all means include it. But on the whole, I'd rather have 2 paragraphs of ideas and plot and characterization than descriptions of clothing and gun parts. It's fantasy, after all: it's a different world. That's the point. That's the fun.

Comments

[judes.livejournal.com]

do people actually call her on most of the crap she writes about in her blog?
or does it just get deleted when it is blatantly against ideals of the church of LKH worship?

[pith]

Well, the guestbook is gone, and the comments that people leave on the RSS feed don't get to her, so unless people gripe via e-mail or a signing... LKH is left in her oblivion bubble.

[michael-b-lee.livejournal.com]

The part that keeps making me snicker is where Jon-bot asks, in all seriousness, whether hair singes when a bullet passes through it.

Sounds like a boy-toy takes a grievous hair wound. Imagine the angsting that will follow.

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

"OH MY GOD! I'M MISSING TWO STRANDS OF HAIR! QUICK CALL THE COPS!"

~snorts, snickers~

[catskin.livejournal.com]

I have to say, I think even in a blog, grammar, punctuation, spelling etc matters. Or does to me anyway. Anything I know somebody other than me is going to read has to be perfect. It's just my little personal pet hate, and I don't expect everyone else to live by it, but surely a professional, bestselling author should care? People read her blog and (probably) look up to her. I know she's said in past blogs that she has mild dyslexia, but my God, can't she use a spellcheck?

[sailorcoruscant.livejournal.com]

I think that when I'm reading a blog, I'm willing to let the occasional typo get through. I still expect people to spellcheck and read over what they post before they hit that submit button, but if something slips through the cracks I'm willing to forgive even a published author.

That aside, I'm not willing to forgive LKH anything, probably because she's such a 'technophobe' that she can't bring herself to use spellcheck on her novels.

[catskin.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed LKH can bring herself to get out of bed in the morning, the number of phobias she has.

[gorgeousnerd]

Research is important, but it's still secondary to getting the basic mechanics of a story right, and I include everything from grammar to plot in that statement. Knowing when to use research is also key; in her books lately, I feel like she's beaten us over the head with a bunch of useless details that I skim over anyway.

[misora.livejournal.com]

This is kind of off-topic from the OP, but...

I'm off to try and drag Jon and I off to exercise. He says, he'll follow where I lead, I just got to be brave enough to lead to the work out room. Damn, I so do not want to exercise today. I'll let you know if my will power holds out, or if the couch and mindless television suck my will power away.

(Later:) Will Power won out. I've exercized and am now working on dinner, while Jon goes and puts in his time on the Dread Mill.

Jesus Christ. Can she whine any more about exercise? "Brave enough"? "Dread Mill"?? I mean I know it's not always 100% enjoyable, but Jesus, it's not fucking torture, and think of the rewards: endorphin rush (which I crave more than anything), cardio benefits, weight loss. Don't those benefits encourage her at all? Apparently the TV sucks her in more often than not. Just goes to show again that LKH prefers the easy way out rather than working hard (lots of porn but no plot).

Her husband Jon sounds absolutely retarded but of course he'd have to be to pledge his life to LKH....

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

What gets me is how idiotic she sounds when she calls it a "Dread mill."

*cynical snort*

Apparently, she thinks she's being cute. Bleh.

And btw, love you Witch Hunter Robin icon. :D That anime rocked.

Just goes to show again that LKH prefers the easy way out rather than working hard (lots of porn but no plot).

Which is sad. She's been half-assing it for how many books now? Five? Six? I lost count.

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

Omg, Hi Misora!

[misora.livejournal.com]

Hi there! ^.~ I saw this comm and just had to join, after having wasted money on 3 of the Merry Gentry series. *sighs* ^^

[misora.livejournal.com]

And btw, love you Witch Hunter Robin icon. :D That anime rocked.

Thank you! That it did. ^^

And yes...half-assed writing makes Baby Jesus cry (but apparently not as much as it makes LKH cry to run on the treadmill...lol).

I keep thinking it's intentional, though, more than half-assed; I mean she knows that sex sells. She's obviously living vicariously through her books (which makes her husband even more retarded...). She knows what she's doing, and what measly plot there was to any of her books is never coming back. I'm beginning to accept that now.

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

Same here.

And I call it half-assed because well...that's what I can call the books at their best nowadays. And at worst, a once good series that has been condemned to the depths of literary hell.

She knows what she's doing, and what measly plot there was to any of her books is never coming back. I'm beginning to accept that now.

I don't know. She once had good ideas...The early Anita Blake books were good and fun reads.

And I managed to stick with AB up until Cerulean Sins. I couldn't bear to slog through Incubus Dreams. Not going near Micah. And Danse Macabre I'm not touching with a ten foot pole...it's at least twice as bad as ID from what I can tell. *shudders* I already have enough mental scars. DM would probably break my brain.

I've only read one Merry book myself. That's probably a good thing.

And the Anitaverse has the potential to be awesome in the hands of a competent, GOOD writer.

LKH is, obviously, neither.

And BTW, welcome to the comm. Enjoy your stay, and share the pain! God knows, there's plenty to go around...

[vanity-lost.livejournal.com]

Can she whine any more about exercise?
For answer to this question, see: Janet Evanovich/Stephanie Plum. *shudder* One more "Omg, I have to exercisseee??! So that I can out run the big huge nasty psycho scary person who wants to kill me and slice me and eat me??! Noooooo!!! Let's eat donuts" in that series...

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

It drives me nuts when I'm reading along, and find that a writer obviously didn't do any research. I'm okay with a problem here, or there, but when it's blatantly obvious that they treated the material with no respect, it just ruins my enjoyment of the story. Research, research, research.

Excuse me??? This from the woman that thinks calenders make good research material?

*headdesks*

For Chrissakes, the LEAST she could do would be to look up things on Google. Or pick up an actual book on the subject matter she's studying rather than a FREAKING CALENDER. Really, her rampant hypocrisy is hilarious.

I remember Mule telling me that she actually bragged about not having to do research because she already knew everything and was perfect and speshul. Though I could be wrong.

God, is this woman ever a twit.

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

So I didn't imagine it when she wrote she used a calendar for research?

[ladyravana.livejournal.com]

No sadly, you didn't.

I had trouble believing it myself.

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

I liked the bit about having Jon "physical it out" with her...does this woman even know how to form proper sentences anymore?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's...wankified to the max.

Case in point in how research can ruin a story: The DaVinci Code. Honestly, I do not give a shit what kind of pen Robert Langdon uses!

I'm all for research being used as groundwork for getting a character, time period or thing believable, but if you hit it too hard you might as well write a paper rather than a novel.

It's like television and movies: if you make it too real, you may as well have created a manual rather than something entertaining.

Oy, that post made my brains hurt.

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

Oh dear christ, that book was a chore to read. The man's love of research was bad enough, but Dan Brown is not a terribly interesting writer. At all. If he had some decent talent, I wouldn't have minded so much, but holy gods.

But then, I was the crazy one sitting in my history class reading the entire textbook in the first few days. I like learning something I didn't know. But when the author is as talented with words as a astro physicist writing his thesis, I want to gouge out my eyes. Laurell didn't use to make me want to do this, even with her strange obsession of the colour of Nike swooshes.

Now, I just wish some motherfucking snakes would should up on that motherfucking plane and really give her something to whine about. Instead of something as ridiculous as her makeup remover.

[euphoric-goth.livejournal.com]

I did an experiment.

I purchased paperback versions of Angels and Demons, the DaVinci Code, Digital Fortress and that other book.

They're all the same bloody book. Except in Digital Fortress the main character is a woman.

I deeply suspect that Brown is doing a fair bit of self-insertion himself.

The books are mindless drivel, but if you're bored and need to while away an afternoon, you could probably do worse.
Probably.

[catskin.livejournal.com]

You could do worse - you could read Micah.

[euphoric-goth.livejournal.com]

Oh, snap.

Yes, from what I've heard, that would be worse.

Link Fix

[naeko.livejournal.com]

The blog being flogged here can be found at http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/index.php/site/comments/guns_play_acting_and_more_research/

Guns, play acting, and more research

I always tell new writers not to rewrite as they go along in first draft because perfectionism sets in, and I still maintain if you've never completed a book save the rewrites until you have at least a finished rough draft. But for those who have a book under their belt, here's the exception to my own rule. Yesterday I had a complicated action scene. It wrote well, read well, but reality intrudes. How real guns work. The shape of the claws on a tiger. Size of people involved, and logistics. Where is everyone in relation to everyone else? I knew something wasn't quite right, but I just couldn't spot it in the rush of adrenalin that often accompanies a productive day. I had thirteen pages, and they read well, but something nagged at me. So I went to Jon and spoiled it for him, because I needed to spoil some big surprises to talk out why I felt I'd missed some stuff. I knew that I needed Jon to help me physical out the scene. Play act it with me. What did I do before I had Jon? I borrowed friends or crawled around on the floor by myself just me and my imagination. Anyway, Jon and I acted out some of the fight. We discovered quickly that some of the injuries just weren't possible. Wrong angle, wrong weapon, whatever. So the injury to [SPOILER] is out. Jon also raised the question on whether if you shot through someone's hair would the hair singe? Good question. I'll have to find out. And my question is why is it that if gunpowder blow back can put traces of bits (I don't mean the microscopic bits that show up in a GSR test) under the skin of the face like a scar almost, why doesn't it do that to your hands, which are always close to the gun when it fires? Again, I'm going to have to research and find out if the idea of burnt powder under the skin like a permanent mark is movie myth, or reality. I've also got to see how close to the eyes you can fire a gun and not get retina burn. The deafness I already know is a problem. Or the potential ear damage anyway. Scenes like this are why a mock up gun, one of those weighted to look real but painted bright neon colors is really useful. I never, ever roll around and pretend fight with a real gun, even unloaded. I go by the rule that all guns are loaded, all guns are dangerous. They are not toys. That's why they make the mock guns. A really good replica air-gun will work, but the weight is often wrong. Anyway, I need these questions answered. I will change the stuff we know needs changing, and move on with the book. I can go back later when I have my answers to singed hair, gunpowder burns, muzzle flash, and shooting a gun that close to an ear. I think in the real world you'd probably loose your hearing or have it permanently damaged, but since these guys heal better than normal, I guess I could squeak that one by. The trick here is that I know I'm squeaking by. I know what might happen for real. I don't guess, and if I bend reality I know I'm bending it. It drives me nuts when I'm reading along, and find that a writer obviously didn't do any research. I'm okay with a problem here, or there, but when it's blatantly obvious that they treated the material with no respect, it just ruins my enjoyment of the story. Research, research, research.