lkh_lashouts | WHO WILL THINK OF THE MONKEYS OH NOES

So, I was reading this interview, which I don't remember seeing mocked here, but correct me if wrong.

I'm not going to mock it myself, really -- though anyone who'd like to may take it apart. (It's more of the same, really. Blah blah blah I do so much research I did a week on moth wings but forget the ages of my main characters blah blah yes of COURSE the sex is more than titillation and it's amazing how well I can hear you when you're that far up my own ass and OMG Merita are TOTALLY two different people because Merry has BLACK hair and Anita has... wait... anyway who said I base my characters on people I know NOT ME except for all those times I did blah blah blah zombie defensivecakes...) Someone really ought to tackle her reason why there will never be a Merita crossover, though, it's comedy gold. I was going to, except I was distracted by this:

And the last question in this interview is the traditional question of the OF: If you were to own several monkeys and/or midgets, how many would you own, and what would you name them?

It is illegal to own other human beings. So midgets are out. And they prefer to be called little people.
Monkeys are incredibly time consuming as pets and are often uncontrollable once they reach sexual maturity. Many of them end up at zoos, or rescues or even destroyed. Many zoos will not take ex-pets because of their lack of normal monkey socialization. Not to mention health and behavioral problems.
If you wanted a light hearted answer you're talking to the wrong girl. I have a degree in biology and support several rescue groups and contribute to the St Louis Zoo. I don't actually contribute to any rescue groups that specialize in monkeys, but maybe I should look in to it.

... uh huh. Because forget depicting your heroine as raping a sex junkie. Or having rampant homophobia. And she can totally fuck around with misogynistic comments and gender hypocrisy. Midgets* and monkeys, though, are SERIOUS BIZNESS.

*I apologize to any little people/short-statured in the audience, I just couldn't resist the alliteration. I will now be escorted to the English Department of Shame.