Really, LKH?

[http://users.livejournal.com/belladonna_/]

Okay, so I checked LKH's Ravenloft book out of the library.

I know, I know, but I had about 10 minutes, really needed a book, couldn't find my first 60 choices, and it was right there, staring me in the face. So I'm reading along, and it's pretty bad, but I think par for the course for a DnD tie-in? I dunno, I don't have much experience with them.

For those of you not familiar with the Ravenloft concept, it seems to be a fantasy world where there's magic and wizards and evil vampire things and monsters and stuff, and the Very Nature of Magic is Bad Bad Bad. The main character is a young girl named Elaine with Special Spooky Powerful Powers. Like I said, it was pretty crappy, but marginally readable... until I get to page 178, and this little gem of a chapter closer:

"A house divided upon itself cannot stand. Elaine couldn't remember who had said that. She hoped that whoever it was was wrong."

*HEADDESK*

Seriously, y'all. It's only, like, the most famous presidential speech ever in the history of ever - a presidential speech which I do *not* believe took place in Ravenloft. And yeah, okay, Jesus said it first, but I don't think he's a character in the Ravenloft universe either.

(*headdeskx2*)

Also - and this was a minor irritation, comparatively - she hyphenates "thank you" throughout the novel. As in, "thank-you."

Really? Really, LKH? Really?

Comments

[dwg.livejournal.com]

You made it a hell of a lot further through the book than I did. I know I read it years ago, back in high school - or at least tried to read it. I didn't know what Ravenloft was, I didn't care, I was just starting out with LKH and thought it was pretty kickass - and then I started to read DoaD and couldn't get to the end of the first chapter without being horribly confused and bored. So I returned the book as fast as I could.

And yet, I still managed to read four and a half Robert Jordan books that year. Aiii.

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

Robert Jordan...oh god, is that the Wheel of Time series writer? D:!!!!

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Yah-huh. I swear, that guy put me off high fantasy FOR LIFE! Urban fantasy or Terry Pratchett/David Eddings is my level of coping these days. Asking me to deal with Some Epic Adventure tghat Goes Across An Entire Other World to find the magical whatsit and restore the rightful heir to the throne (who just so happens to be the Unsassuming Farmer's/Butcher's/Blacksmith's son/daughter and has magikal powerz liek woah and sparkly things THAT WILL SAVE US ALLLL!) and take it seriously over umpteen books that are big enough to kill a man with? That's wayyy too much to ask of a mere mortal.

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

I know. O.O My aunt got me the ENTIRE SERIES as a gift once. I got about three chapters into the first book and had to stop. I could actually hear the ragged, horrified screams of my brain cells dying one by one.

Also...wasn't the Bad Thing named something very similar to "Satan?" :P

[dwg.livejournal.com]

...mercifully, I can't remember. I do remember having the biggest crush on Lan, though. And Lanfear was awesome before she got stupid and so easily defeated. *headdesk* WTF? SHE WAS A GREAT FEMME FATALE AND JORDAN MADE HER DUMBR! *sets fire to things*

I'm never reading those books, ever again.