Calling all martial artists...time to get your FLOG ON.

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

I need to make me an icon of a mule literally flogging LKH/Anita and maybe screaming "NAUGHTY KITTY?! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF DIALOGUE IS THAT?!"

Time for another floggin'. :)

http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2006/10/relax-and-hesitate.html



I've been trying to do a blog about Archon since Sunday when we got home, but it just isn't coming.

...mental image means Mavado says "ew." I didn't know blogs could come. O.O

I tried to work today, but my mind was too tired. Not from Archon, but from the year in general. It has been a heck of a busy year.

That's because you're now putting out (pun intended!) HOW MANY books each year??? Seriously, you AND your writing would benefit from it if you'd slow the fuck down and, yanno...had someone EDIT THEM. Or inject a plot. Or smash your hard drive with a sledgehammer.

Someone said, I needed some R and R, rest and relaxation. I told the truth, I do R and H, rest and hesitation. I try to rest, then feel like I should be doing something else, and just move restless from one almost task to another. I relaxed by accident.

You know, they made medications for that. Over the counter, too! :P

It meant that no one got much done, but since most of us had been at Archon this weekend, we were all sort of tired and not in a workie mood.

...yes, you saw that right...WORKIE MOOD.

This is a PUBLISHED AUTHOR??????

We walked the dogs today.

Uhm. Having been an on-and-off dog owner most of my life...dogs need walking every day, usually several times. O.o WTF????

I watched a movie. I talked to people. I drank tea. I enjoyed the sunshine. I enjoyed feeling good, tired, but good.

So she's decided to abuse periods like she does commas??? Seriously, almost all of those fragments could be merged into one or two real SENTENCES.

And that poor misused comma. :P

I'm sitting here in an apron with cartoon dogs on it, having cut up onions, and garlic so Jon can use them in the stir fry he's making.

We care why?

Why all the details? Because I've finally decided to bite the bullet and talk about a subject I've been avoiding.

........................okay, so now she's actively procrastinating. IN A BLOG ENTRY. Wow.

Jon and I lost forty pounds a piece about two years ago. We've kept it off, except for five pounds a piece. It was ten pounds a piece, but we've managed to loose five of that, so thirty-five pounds a piece that's stayed off for over two years.

EGREYKRGWEFREWA LOSE NOT LOOSE. LOSE NOT LOOSE. LOSE NOT LOOSE. Chant with me people. God this woman canNOT spell to SAVE HER LIFE.

How did we do this? We've changed how we eat and drink. It's not a diet, because most people consider a diet something temporary, this isn't temporary. We have changed, permanently how we eat. We have tried to make exercise part of our daily routine. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it. We both feel better, as well as look better.

Ironically I suddenly feel awkward because in the past couple months I've been trying to do the same thing...fundamentally change my eating habits. However, I dunno why she feels the need to go into the minutia of how much weight she's lost. :P

So many people have asked how we did it, but I'd avoided talking about it. Why?

My guess is because you're a stuck up bitch. *shrugs*

Because I think we're too hung up on weight in this country, but it's worked for us, maybe it will work for others.

I will agree, the US is very weight-obsessed. Thing is, SO IS LAURELL. Her blog posts have been pretty obvious on how she feels about anyone who's genuinely thin, for example. >:P

I finally decided to talk about this a little when I had a woman at the convention say, that I must not have to work to have that hour glass figure.

Uhhh. Since when does LKH have an hourglass figure? O.o I mean, seriously.

Don't get me wrong, I still have curves. Women are supposed to have curves, not look like adolescent boys with a little bit of chest.

SEE? She's going on about how the country is weight obsessed, then puts down skinny girls. WTF!!!

I encourage all females to lynch her for this.

We tried ballroom dancing, as well, but to get really good you'd need to devote more time to it than we have in the schedule. We're looking at adding something else. Maybe yoga, or Pilates, or martial arts.

Okay, my inner Tae Kwon Doist just suffered a major aneurysm and probably won't survive.

Having taken a couple years of TKD, I can tell you...IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR DANCING, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANY SERIOUS MARTIAL ART. Seriously, guys. I love martial arts, and I encourage folks to take 'em up, but they are not "weekend sports." LKH treating it as a hobby that's LESS time consuming than fucking DANCING is a freakin' insult. Really.

I...I think I wanna go curl up and die. If I were prone to praying, I'd start pleading to the Diety that, if she DOES choose a martial art, it not be my precious TKD.

This is my sadface. :(

Comments

[kethryvis.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about the "adolescent boys with a little bit of chest" comment since the last post on this blog topic... and as much as I hate to play devil's advocate (especially with LKH) I have realized I kind of don't think she's trying to insult the skinny girls with this kind of stuff. I think she's trying to insult the fashion industry, who says they encourage their girls to have healthy bodies, but then put girls like this (http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=1756&e=3&u=/061007/ids_photos_en/r1556750300.jpg) on the runway.

Laurell is obsessed with weight, that I don't deny. She's also obsessed with height (and 'member' size but that's neither here nor there), but I don't think she's fully trying to insult skinny girls, just the media who pushes those super skinny girls in our faces and make us feel insecure in our own body types.

And on that devil's advocate note, I run to class :)

[kethryvis.livejournal.com]

oh yeah, and since I can't edit my comment (STUPID lj), I meant to also add in ...

"... insecure in our own body types. However, like everything she does, she does it with no forethought and it backfires spectacularly. Someone needs to teach that girl to think before she publishes."

Okay now really off :)

[x--shameless.livejournal.com]

That picture makes me want to eat something. Holy shit.

She IS obsessed with weight, she needs to shut the hell up about things she is generalizing into two stereotypes, "real women with curves" and "haha your skinny so you look like a boy!" I'm 5'1, 107 pounds an guess what, I'm skinny and I have curves! I have the thighs to prove it. If she is talking more about the media, then maybe she could clarify a bit more. Oh, I forgot, she's stupid.

Her weight rants piss me off because Anita is a fucking twig. And she doesn't have "curves," she's only got gigantic boobs. Big different there.

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

I think it's not even the comment itself that's insulting (even though there are woman who are just naturally skinny and have little curves who would find that comment insulting), it's just the history with this woman. She is known for bitching in her blog about the devilish fashion industry when most women alive have to deal with the same thing. It's useless melodrama if she does it nonstop.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

I passed a Bridal and Groom's boutique the other day and saw the suit that's been described in the bookflog for DM. Right down to a purple tie.

I had a discussion with my roommate (cicumvently of course since she's still reading and doesn't like to vent) and she thought that LKH means to dress them up since Vampires are very formal and normal business attire just doesn't do.

I still found it odd to think of Micah and Nathaniel etc all dressed up like matching groomsmen for bridesmades in lavender and yellow-green and whatever dresses; the dress to match the tie to match the eyes.

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

While I am with you in the -models get too skinny department there is still a big difference between what she calls boy with boobs and model size ...
She is just trying to put down naturally thin woman - not just anorexic ones and put her own looks on a pedestal ...
maybe she wants to do something good, but seriously she is just pissing people off

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

Otherwise, the god in question is a uncaring, one-eyed god/harbinger of doom.

The hopeful side of me chirped "ODIN??? :D!!!!" when I saw that. XD!!!

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

XD!!!

[wickedmommy.livejournal.com]

wow..do we really need a play by play of her entire fucking day? Martial Arts as a weekend sport? Seriously take up roller bladeing or something. My husband has been studying Jeet Kun Do and he eats sleeps and breathes it.

She just needs to go away..far far away.

I vote yest to the icon! Or at the very least a picture. I wanna see that!

[salveo-opes.livejournal.com]

Nicely done, as usual. She's just...beyond words.

I'll Just Say It Again...

[bluesimplicity.livejournal.com]

"Not in a worky mood."

"NOT IN A WORKY MOOD."

WTF??

And I have SEVERAL friends who are absolutely brilliant writers, and they can't get published. Life is so unfair.

And Laurell, honey - I'm being frank here, cos I used to love ya. You're not hourglass. You're FAT. (Take it from another fat chick.) Let go and move on.

Sorry - she just hits my PISSED OFF button something fierce.

Re: I'll Just Say It Again...

[catskin.livejournal.com]

People over the age of five who talk baby-talk make me feel ill. "Not in a worky mood" is right up there with my 24-year-old maths graduate friend who describes her job as "poohy."

WTF are you people doing to my beautiful language?!

Re: I'll Just Say It Again...

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

WTF are you people doing to my beautiful language?!

Agreed. The poor, poor English language is doing cartwheels in it's grave.

[catskin.livejournal.com]

Ah, the next chapter in LKH's self-help book is revealed: How I Solved America's Obesity Problem and Learned To Love My Womanly Curves. Yes kids, the answer is diet and exercise! The revelations keep on coming.

Next week: Laurell takes out North Korea and saves the whales.

I recommend that Jonathan could lose a good 100+ pounds by way of a divorce.

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

Ah, the next chapter in LKH's self-help book is revealed: How I Solved America's Obesity Problem and Learned To Love My Womanly Curves. Yes kids, the answer is diet and exercise! The revelations keep on coming.

Yeah...the fact that she acts like she's all revolutionary scares me hardcore.

Next week: Laurell takes out North Korea With Anita's twat and saves the whales. because they, like Micah, have ginormous cocks.

Sorry, I couldn't resist. :P

[catskin.livejournal.com]

Well, you wouldn't save an animal that didn't have a ginormous cock, would you? What would be the point? Where would the sex go?

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

Let us pray LKH never ever finds out that dolphins have prehensile penises, or there'll be a lot of were-porpoises all over St. Louis.

Which ironically would make more sense than the fucking mermaid thing. :P

[catskin.livejournal.com]

And God forbid she ever learns how big a blue whale's penis can be. Although I'm sure as an expert in "soft sciences" like biology, it's an angle she's familiar with. So to speak.

[hbrogan.livejournal.com]

Jon and I lost forty pounds a piece about two years ago. We've kept it off, except for five pounds a piece. It was ten pounds a piece, but we've managed to loose five of that, so thirty-five pounds a piece that's stayed off for over two years.

I shouldn't have to do algebra to figure out that sentence. You're a WRITER! Try making sense once in a while. And, BTW, Jon's weight loss doesn't count because clearly it was lost through emasculation...

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm going to WTF this because I'm one of those people that seems to lose weight without really trying. I know when I took up walking to work instead of the bus, I dropped a belt size. I stacked the weight back on when I was unemployed and not doing anything, but then I kinda got poor and couldn't afford my usual junk and I've lost it all.

I hate to think of what would happen if I was serious about losing weight and did the whole change of diet and exercised more thing. I'd probably...be half the woman I am now.

Kudos for her for wanting to have a healthier diet (No, Laurell, diet does not mean a temporary thing - according to the dictionary, it's "customary food" aka, what you eat.) and trying to pack in more excercise but...I have to take off brownie points if all she's doing it for is to lose weight. I can understand an overhaul if you want your life to be healthier and live longer, but not just to lose weight.

And this is totally why I'm not going through all this crud to fit into a smaller shirt/skirt because I'm still healthy. Even when I had the extra weight, I was still healthy for my height/mass.

[pandorasblog]

I finally decided to talk about this a little when I had a woman at the convention say, that I must not have to work to have that hour glass figure.

Okay, hands up all of those whose eyes popped out at the words, "I had a woman"... I was so shocked at the apparant acceptance of non-hetero relationships that it took me several seconds to notice the "at the con" part. She could say she'd had a bowl of cereal and I'd be assuming she'd consorted with the cereal in a sexual manner... oh Laurell, you've boosted my already considerable double entendre detector powers...

[ladymina.livejournal.com]

I finally decided to talk about this a little when I had a woman at the convention say, that I must not have to work to have that hour glass figure.
seriously - was she wearing a corsett?
cause there is no other way in hell that this woman can have a hourglass figure
She just isn't build for it
and again, damn woman, other females (and a growing group of males) have weight problems, too but they usually don't make a public drama out of it.
They might share with friends, but I think you are one of the few women on this earth who have to share every little detailed drama with the whole world ... head@desk

[dinsedaledarby.livejournal.com]

she acts like she has the solution to everyone's problems.
Next thing you know she'll be suggesting weight loss through vigorous sex.

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

How do you think Anita went from being described as a "woman with curves" to the twig she is now? She obviously doesn't have time to eat with all the sex.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Just think of all the 'info' she could have Anita dump if she decides to take up martial arts. o_O

[rantingmule.livejournal.com]

I remember when Anita knew Judo and stuff...threw a werewolf through the window with it...and then suddenly she never used her OMG JUDO SKILLZ after a while so I assume the sticky note with "ANITA KNOWS JUDO" on it got lost. :P

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten that, but now that you mention it Anita never was very interested in doing info dumps for Judo the way she was for guns.

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

You know, I just shouldn't read Laurell's "REAL wimmyn have CURVES!" posts because I get angry to the point of incoherence. Of all the stupid, self-centered bullshit she's talked about, I find that one particularly insulting.

And Laurell, Jesus, if you want to go on a diet, don't JUSTIFY it by proclaiming that sure you're thinner but STILL VOLUPTOUS AND TOTALLY NOT A TRAITOR TO YOUR SEX OMG. Because, okay, real women have curves. And real women have no curves. It's called GENETIC DIVERSITY, for fuck's sake.

And you know what? For someone who claims to be a role model for young girls *shudder*, I'm sure you're not doing a whole hell of a lot for the 14-year-old bra-stuffer who feels guilty for being unable to live up to society's expectations of what's "womanly," convinced that they're ugly and worthless and will never be loved. You're basically telling them that their suspicions are justified, because "real women have curves," and flat girls are inherently masculine gender defectors who deserve scorn and ridicule.

Just, godDAMN, I cannot sufficiently express how much this angers me.