What I learned from Anita Blake

[vanity-lost.livejournal.com]

• Don't date vampires, kill them unless they’re hot, hunky, gorgeous, well-endowed males.
• The Executioner is shorter than you expect and way bitchier.
• Just because you're human doesn't mean you aren't one of the monsters it also doesn’t mean you’re actually human.
• Zombies have rights too. They have every right to do whatever Anita says.
• Never waste a really good threat. And never hesitate to reuse a really good threat ad nauseum.
• An atheist with a cross is a truly pitiful sight, but then, so is everyone who isn’t Anita.
• If you have to be anyone's property, go with people you know. But if you have to sleep with someone, go with anyone who is gorgeous, well-endowed and male.
• Screaming is for when you don't have anything better to do. Or when you are doing someone.
• Guilt is a wonderful motivator. But sex is better.
• Illusion is everything. But sex is better.
• Cars are not fun to chase. They don't bleed. Neither do vampires, but they give good sex.
• People generally see what they want to see. Or what Anita tells them to.
• Paranoia is just another name for longevity. Longevity is just another name for having lots of sex.
• Never forget who your enemies are. You’ll be sleeping with them in the next book.
• Always get out of the way of charging werewolf. Unless he’s naked and there’s bed nearby.
• If you French kiss a vampire, you risk lip and tongue injury. But it’s kinky that way, and you can wax poetic over that coppery taste.
• Life is tough and the universe is not fair. Because then Anita would have nothing to angst over and Richard would be dead.
• Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Except sex. You can always do sex.
• Everyone is cannon fodder. Eventually. Unless you’re Anita, Richard, Jean-Claude, Asher, Nathaniel, Micah, or other members of Anita’s posse.
• Sometimes childish will get you what you want. But sex always gets the job done.
• Jeans and sneakers do not inspire confidence as ceremonial get-up. Naked works better. 

(adopted from: www2.crosswinds.net/vancouver/~robyn/anitaisms.html and the T-shirt on Laurell's website)


And on a somewhat more positive note, because it's a lovely day and I'm in a good mood because I finished the umpteenth rewrite on my paper:  Is there anything you still like about the Anita Blake books or the Merry Gentry series? What are your glimmers of hope? Is it just about favorite characters?

Frequently Used Arguments

[naeko.livejournal.com]

I'm bored here at work, so I've snagged a list of arguments from both sides (meaning I scanned the ab_fan community and made notes on which side says what about the way the series is going) and I'm going to attempt to answer all of them. Well... being on the Anti-side, I'm having trouble refuting the anti- arguments, so I'm going to defend them, instead.

( Frequently Used Arguments )

Disclaimer: I stopped reading after Cerulean Sins, because that, and Narcissus in Chains were two of the worst books I have ever read. I also haven't read a drop of LKH's work in over a year, so my knowledge is less than complete and not up to date. Feel free to correct, add to, or argue any of the points I've made.