What I learned from Anita Blake

[vanity-lost.livejournal.com]

• Don't date vampires, kill them unless they’re hot, hunky, gorgeous, well-endowed males.
• The Executioner is shorter than you expect and way bitchier.
• Just because you're human doesn't mean you aren't one of the monsters it also doesn’t mean you’re actually human.
• Zombies have rights too. They have every right to do whatever Anita says.
• Never waste a really good threat. And never hesitate to reuse a really good threat ad nauseum.
• An atheist with a cross is a truly pitiful sight, but then, so is everyone who isn’t Anita.
• If you have to be anyone's property, go with people you know. But if you have to sleep with someone, go with anyone who is gorgeous, well-endowed and male.
• Screaming is for when you don't have anything better to do. Or when you are doing someone.
• Guilt is a wonderful motivator. But sex is better.
• Illusion is everything. But sex is better.
• Cars are not fun to chase. They don't bleed. Neither do vampires, but they give good sex.
• People generally see what they want to see. Or what Anita tells them to.
• Paranoia is just another name for longevity. Longevity is just another name for having lots of sex.
• Never forget who your enemies are. You’ll be sleeping with them in the next book.
• Always get out of the way of charging werewolf. Unless he’s naked and there’s bed nearby.
• If you French kiss a vampire, you risk lip and tongue injury. But it’s kinky that way, and you can wax poetic over that coppery taste.
• Life is tough and the universe is not fair. Because then Anita would have nothing to angst over and Richard would be dead.
• Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Except sex. You can always do sex.
• Everyone is cannon fodder. Eventually. Unless you’re Anita, Richard, Jean-Claude, Asher, Nathaniel, Micah, or other members of Anita’s posse.
• Sometimes childish will get you what you want. But sex always gets the job done.
• Jeans and sneakers do not inspire confidence as ceremonial get-up. Naked works better. 

(adopted from: www2.crosswinds.net/vancouver/~robyn/anitaisms.html and the T-shirt on Laurell's website)


And on a somewhat more positive note, because it's a lovely day and I'm in a good mood because I finished the umpteenth rewrite on my paper:  Is there anything you still like about the Anita Blake books or the Merry Gentry series? What are your glimmers of hope? Is it just about favorite characters?