Curious about this for awhile...

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

It's been said in many places by different people that LKH's portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle is off. I know a bit more than just the basics - ah, the joys of reading - and can sort of inherently pick up that something isn't right with her depiction, but I can't really articulate it. I was just curious to hear from those who participate in the lifestyle, what they personally find offensive, frustrating, or just headdesk-worthy about LKH's portrayal. Perhaps they can help make it clearer to me why it feels amiss.

Comments

[vmisery.livejournal.com]

Nonconsensual sex is a recurrent fantasy, but I disagree on the repressed. I think many people (mostly women) have such fantasies and not all of them are repressed.

Well, true, can't really make a blanket statement that every woman who has noncon fantasies is repressed, it just seems to me that it's a fantasy that appeals somewhat more to those who have control issues to start with. Then again, I could just be speaking for myself. :P

And yes, the "dubious consent" does make sense...and totally fits the whole fantasy theme. The reluctant bride kind of thing, which actually seems to thread through a lot of the old romance novels my mom used to read. You know, big, strong, handsome and slightly brutish male hero, soft, fragile, virginal female heroine, she's reluctant, he "knows what's good for her", it starts out with "no, don't" and ends with flowers and fireworks.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh, I misunderstood, sorry. *blushes* I thought you meant sexually repressed. As in, people who are all goody-too-shoes and then... BANG, they have kinky and 'dirty' minds. But, yes, people with control issues (in daily life) may very well be the ones that have those kinds of fantasies. Makes sense. ^__^

Yeah, that was what I was thinking. Personally I dislike those kinds of romances. Tried Christine Feehan (a popular paranormal romance writer, I think) but I hated the hero and heroine exactly because of that. I like romance novels where the heroine has a backbone and while the hero is a handsome (and inteligent) rascal he is also open-minded enough to change and to see the error of his ways. I like both of the protagonists to be inteligent, assertive and active participants in the action, not those 'man goes to battle, woman just sits home and is pretty' kinds of books. But I guess a lot of people do like them as they are still quite popular... go figure. ^___^;;

[slayra.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't exactly understand either (I dislike being told what to do and how to think... but that's just me), but there are a lot of inteligent, modern women who choose that kind of life for themselves. And as long as they have a choice that doesn't really bother me much, just the fact that, you know, I don't really understand.

Don't know if you ever saw 'Mona Lisa Smile'... it's a bit like one of the female students that was very inteligent and could have a great career but she chose a simple life, marriage and kids. It's all about what makes us happy and comfortable I guess.

As for me, I couldn't see myself living that way, I think I'd go crazy if I couldn't spend the money I wanted on books. *grins*

[vmisery.livejournal.com]

Well, actually I think it's applicable for the sexually repressed, too, though not all cases, of course. I'm trying to talk in tendancies and likelihoods rather than sweeping generalities and pigeonholing. :P I think for someone who's had a great deal of guilt and shame associated with sex while growing up, rape fantasy makes a safe outlet for desires that they aren't comfortable expressing otherwise. Removing control removes guilt and responsibility. LKH is a great example of this, since her "good girl" characters only experience what she views as perverse pleasures against their will, which means they stay good girls even though they're really doing a damn fine impression of a public utility.