Narcissus in Chains; because I just won't let that horse die

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

So, today I began choosing the books I'm going to be taking to my new dorm in a months time and I ran across the old copy of Narcissus in Chains that I rescued from my town's public library soon-to-be-trash bin a few years ago and I couldn't help myself; I actually flipped through the pages. I'm convinced these books have some sort of magnetic pull that entrances people for a few minutes. That's the only thing that can explain their continued success.

Anyway, I ended up wondering about some of the plot points that LKH pretty much forgot about. I only tried to read Ceruleans Sins after that, and I must admit it scarred my psyche, so I maybe she did mention some of this stuff and I just wasn't brave enough to wade through the horrifying attempts at a JC/Asher/Anita "threesome" (JC and Asher need the assistance of a woman to fuck? WTH?). So, I ask those of you who were strong minded enough to deal with the hell that were the next books, did LKH ever do anything with the following plots even if it was only at the "epilogue" at the end of all the books:

The thing with Dolph and his son marrying a vampire. That was the only part of Narcissus in Chains were I was actually interested in what was going on instead of just morbidly fascinated at the sheer badness of the book. Did Anita ever meet with Dolph's wife like she promised to do?

The werefox Jill. And while we're on the subject, why did LKH decide to characterize foxes as cowards? In all the legends I've ever read, foxes were either powerful tricksters and villains or sacred animals. Did LKH do her fox research from Dora the Explorer?

And no, I will not be taking that book with me to college.

Comments

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Not to mention, DM is some two or six weeks or so after ID (and somewhere in between, Micah happened) so I have to doubly WTF. At least in the earlier books, there was a recognisable rest of a month or so in between and you could buy into what small changes went on, because stuff like that does happen.

But this? No, too much wrong.

two days?!?!

[skeezix74.livejournal.com]

So Anita had sex with approximately seven different men totally about 67 times in the span of two days??? I don't even know how she walks any more. *sigh*

[dwg.livejournal.com]

This just supports my theory that LKH does not think beyond the book she's currently writing. Oh, she might have a few vague ideas to try and tie in, but beyond that? I don't think she's got any definitive character/plot arcs (HA!). It's kinda like a season of Lost -- there's definitely episodes that actually further things, but it feels like the writers have no idea how to actually lead up to those episodes and then they just throw a bunch of random shit together and hope that nobody notices because of the sheer level of bullshit that's come before. Or the hardcore fans will find some deep, hidden meaning that's purely coincidental.

So there's all these loose threads that probably could be picked up later and used for awesome....but only if they were in the hands of another writer. If asked about them, she might claim that she's trying and this was one of those things she "dropped the ball" on, or thought she wrote down but totally didn't. I can probably point the finger at a half dozen threads that would have gone into making things so damned cool in the series, if only LKH would be willing to go there, and play it smart, but since that's not going to happen...I'll sink into my own world and create my own shiny awesomes.

I don't buy into the claim that she's got plots (HA!) sketched out some five books in advance.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Apparently, because lycanthropy is just that awesome.

Bad hair? Werewolf it away.

Missing leg? Wereleopard it away.

Giant peen that nobody can love? Wereleopard Anita will have sex with you because she's your omg, Leopard Queen.

Lycanthropy is running a distant second to how sex is the answer to all. Including the cure for cancer, and the capital of Norway.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

MUAHHH HA HA HA HA!!!

You're trying to kill me, aren't you?

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Ahh, but there's the amazing healing powers of sex to help our heroine!

Also, chaffing apparently does not exist in this universe.

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

But . . . but . . . it's a series! How can she not plan something? It's just . . . . I really hate her and her misogynistic ways.

Re: *cough*

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

your icons almost make make me want to read DM but sharbytes's snarky recaps scare me too much.

Re: two days?!?!

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

I try not to think about that little detail too much.

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

She's like all of the Power Rangers rolled into one Vag of DOOOOOM person.




...I've now tainted Power Rangers. Woe to my childhood.

I tink I thaw a puddy tat!

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Wait wait wait.

Hold on.

Anita Blake fights off Red Woman's Husband and goes home to deal with her life, her 'boys' and St. Louis.

Then within one month (two months?) of that, she's entrenched in the ArDeur, assaulted and raped, broken up with Richard, invited the rapist into her home, is now having sex in public with whomever is closest, repeatedly, until she bleeds, doesn't find anything wrong with her behavior, doesn't think she's being used, hasn't been to work in ages and called her best friend a jealous ho?

On top of that, Edward shows up, and doesn't think anything is hinky with her since the last time he saw her when she was being a strong, independent woman who'd cut the men in her life off in order to have time to think?

OMG!

Anita's dead.

Anita's dead and she's in hell and because it's hell she doesn't even know this is all her torture....

Wait, no, didn't someone promise her they could make her do things and make her like it?

She's not dead. She's been captured.

OMG! OMG! Anita Blake's been captured, mind whammied and turned into a sex jester for some Vampire Council Member's amusement!!!!!


OMG! OMG! Jean Claude totally allowed himself to be a conduit to manipulate Anita in order to continue being Master of the City. He gave up the necromancer for the good of all VampireKind!

OMG! And maybe Richard keeps picking fights with her cause...cause he's protected from the mind whammy? But how? I mean even Edward doesn't seem to be protected....

OMG it's a big arching mystery and the only problem is, is that it's too big for LKH to write and that's why it seems to suck, but think about it, think about it!

...

...

...

Wait, I think I had this thought before. Was it this well thought out? Did I smack myself upside the head for trying to see story where really there isn't any?

(But look, look at the time line! Mind whammy! Big time! That's why everyone in the world is suddenly a jealous hater!)

Please someone stop me before I talk about how the Harlequin Squad is really there to make sure the Necromancer's conditioning has really stuck and she'll now try to use sex before using her actual powers of smite.

Hope is a terrible thing to waste in the Anitaverse.

[witchwillow.livejournal.com]

Please don't make LKH the Rainbow Ranger. I think that title should be reserved for someone with more respect for the GLBT community.


(Rainbow Ranger w/ GLITTER! Tinky Winky won't stand a ratings chance)

[vmisery.livejournal.com]

Same thing she's done with the Merry Gentry series. Same thing. Whole book crammed into practically no time. Has she been watching 24 or something?

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

Hardly Rainbow Ranger...more along the lines of Asshat Ranger. WIth the power to overcome any obstacle by ignoring that it ever exists.

Alpha: Ranger! Be careful that monster has the power of 10,000 volts of electricity at it's command!

Rangers: Right!

LKH: Pfft. Screw that. I don't have time to worry about some silly little shock.

Rangers: Uh...10,000 volts is no laughing matter.

LKH: THAT NUMBER DOES NOT EXIST TO ME THEREFOR IT CANNOT HARM ME!

[reticentric.livejournal.com]

LOL a long time ago on Jerry Springer they had a girl doing that...I think it was like a thousand men in 2 days or something and after only a few men she was crying and they had to pack her with ice. Not sure how true that is of course since it's Springer and all lol.

Re: I tink I thaw a puddy tat!

[ditaykan.livejournal.com]

...holeeeeee crap. I CLING TO YOUR THEORY LIKE MY CAT DOES TO MY HEAD WHEN BEING BATHED.

The dude from OB who had the necklace of tongues! That was basically the last book that was even remotely plausible!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

[hellfire82.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the sign to quit?

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

There was an article on Salon awhile ago about one of those shoots - apparently it was lots and lots of lube, getting the men off fast, and icing the necessary bits once in a while.

Re: I tink I thaw a puddy tat!

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this.... Is the current Anita a Pod-Anita of some sort, just as Podward is not the REAL Edward (the REAL Edward is safe and ploting revenge), or is this who Anita has just unfortunately become because of LKH's lunacy? Has she just devolved, or is she a different entity entirely?

Re: I tink I thaw a puddy tat!

[mitrian.livejournal.com]

Or maybe her plane crashed on the way back, (thus reaffirming that planes are the scary) and everything since is a morphine-induced hallucination while she's laying in pieces in an ICU somewhere?

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

Which would also explain the incredibly repetitive conversations - you know how in soap operas they're always cutting between different scenes, across a dozen episodes, and a character has to recap the conversation every time the script gets back to them?

I once watched Days of Our Lives for a fortnight solid. It really, really shows (the repetitiveness, not the symptoms of too much DoOL exposure) after a week.

Re: I tink I thaw a puddy tat!

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

Oh, how could I have been SO BLIND?
This is obviously the REAL plot, LKH just cannot get near to it!

I plunged into the AB:VH series via Obsidian Butterfly, which I liked despite its shortcomings. Oh, WOESY WOE, why didn't I stop there?

'bout foxes

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

The werefox Jill. And while we're on the subject, why did LKH decide to characterize foxes as cowards? In all the legends I've ever read, foxes were either powerful tricksters and villains or sacred animals. Did LKH do her fox research from Dora the Explorer?

I'm sadly [well, happily, from what I'm reading on here] behind on reading, but I'm fairly certain that foxes=cowards is a Western concept. I'm thinking about the "Renard tales" of late romance, where Renard the fox comes out as a coward, however cunning, sly and quick-witted, against the wolf.
Which I personally value as working self-preservation instincts, but it might be just me..

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Here, found it. It's pretty long, just be warned and nws. The gang's all here article (http://archive.salon.com/health/sex/urge/1999/08/31/houston/print.html)

Here's a couple of the more Anita-y bits"
Five of the ten fluffers -- women on hand to get the guys hard before reaching Houston -- primp in an empty green room. . . . For protection, all of the fluffers get a pair of kneepads ($5.99 apiece) and a dose of antibiotics to block the transmission of STDs.

Understandably, the day becomes a blur for Houston.

This about sums it up.
the whole event settles into a numb pattern, broken by shouts of "Fluffer!" "Lube!" and "Next!" Always "Next!"

Re: 'bout foxes

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I have not read much folk tales and legends. Comes from not being raised in the USA, I guess.