Help!

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

I am on the phone RIGHT NOW with someone who is trying to defend LKH's decision to make Micah's penis size a plot-point. Quick! Gimme ammo!

Comments

[cookie-wolf.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I didn't even think that was physically possible. The size I mean.

[x--shameless.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. I got nothin'.

What the hell is HER defense?

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

Does this mean Richard's penis is a plot point too because Micah sure wants to be him.

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Well, Micah's penis totally stole the plot point from Richard's penis, so I'd say Richard's penis is more the canon plot point than Micah's will ever be.

[ravenhaley.livejournal.com]

So in the end, Micah is just trying to replace Richard.

Were-creature

Big Penis

The only problem with Micah trying to replace Richard is Richard doesn't "fully" kiss Anita's butt.

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

A penis is NOT a plot-point. It is a part of human anatomy.

The only time a penis is a plot-point is in porn. Often satirical porn, no less. In other words, something never meant to be taken seriously, because in a serious context, it is simply absurd.

There is NO defense for LKH trying to make Micah's penis a plot-point. Not if she wishes her books to be taken as anything other than ridiculous, juvenile porn. A plot-point must have an importance, an impact on the world and the characters involved. The size of Micah's penis only impacts how much screaming, nail-tearing sex there will be. It does not solve any real problems, save any lives, change anyone permanently (for better or worse). It is not an evil entity out to destroy a civilization, it is not a world-weary traveler experiencing a more hopeful, bright aspect of life, it is not ANYTHING remotely resembling a plot-point.

And if she tries to claim it is...

God, that urge to slit my wrists is rising again...

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

An evil, giant penis out to destroy civilization....

I'd read that.

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

Actually, yeah, done correctly that could be damn hilarious...

[slayra.livejournal.com]

You know what? I'm sure I've seen the cover to a comic that was exactly that. A giant walking penis destroying everything a-la-godzilla. I can't remember where I've seen it, but I am quite positive I have not dreamt it. *sighs*

[tooimpurenangel.livejournal.com]

It could only be fought with a KILLER CONDOM! Oh, how I love that movie!

[missamii.livejournal.com]

You sure about Micah's penis not permanently changing anyone? I mean the part of NiC in which Anita becomes intimately acquainted with the Wonder Wang is often pinpointed as the moment the series detonated.

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

That's less a plot-point and more a horrific train-wreck type event.

[melaniedavidson.livejournal.com]

Even if his penis was too big for comfortable vaginal intercourse with his previous girlfriend, they still could have done other things. Oral sex, handjobs, etc.

Besides, it's a theme with her. "Big penises" comes across as an obsession.

[arclights.livejournal.com]

If Laurita can't hardly fit that monster in the massive hallway of her vagoo, I doubt she's going to be able to get it in her mouth. Or have enough hands to make a meaningful effort at a handjob.

I know that she'd mentioned (BM, (haha)I think) something about Richard being able to increase/decrease his size at will as a part of the master shifter territory. Since Micah's at least as perfect and pretty and talented as Richard, he should be able to do the same thing, right?

Or is that too inconvenient to the HARDCORE EDGY PORNINATING THAT IS LKH'S MASTERPIECE?

[melaniedavidson.livejournal.com]

I know that she'd mentioned (BM, (haha)I think) something about Richard being able to increase/decrease his size at will as a part of the master shifter territory.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD XD I'd completely forgotten about that! Hahahhahahahahahafd j;kslomqlw,'l

And yes. Yes, he should be able to.

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

There was a surprisingly amusing conversation about it in OB between Anita and Bernardo in which he specifically asked if Richard had that capability. It figures a male would immediately grasp that possibility. ;)

However, no size will ever compare to four centuries of experience. Silly Bernardo for thinking it does.

[x-bluerose-x.livejournal.com]

This is the sort of conversation that begs to be drunk in order to have it...

[windiain.livejournal.com]

The Wonder Wang was never a plot point until LKH realised that she needed to give Micah some character beyond his regular cardboard-cutoutishness and realised that it could be the source of much Wangst. Of course, we note that she still doesn't manage to give the character any kind of life that doesn't revolve around sex. Prior to this revelation, he just had a big cock because LKH was having twisted rape fantasies and figured the one to take Anita should be All Man.

[arclights.livejournal.com]

Except that Micah's about as manly as a Hoover vacuum, and sucks twice as hard.

I could understand his desire to do anything to save his leopards, but it's like she needed someone to play the character willing to whore themselves out for angst, and then didn't know what to do with him -- which is pretty much what happened, I'm assuming. It's got to be hell to be a man around her if her Sue can't have men around that aren't indebted to her in some way. Micah could have been interesting after all the shit that went down after NiC, but ... nope, no dice.

Thank the gods she didn't have a boy, eh? (Or maybe that's the reason she's so distant-sounding with her daughter.)

I wish she didn't project on to her characters so freakin' hard. It would make all this random speculation that much less likely to occur.

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

'Wangst' is a great word.

I agree that it's a sad attempt to give the character depth. I read Micah once, and just kept thinking "Are you an alpha shapeshifter or aren't you? MAKE IT SMALLER, dumbass!"

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

I find the description of Micah very suspicious, meself. Ignore the big wang, and he sounds like the heroine of one of those bodice ripper romances. He's petite, slim, with curly lusturous hair, soft red lips, ect...

Frankly, he sounds to me like a fulfillment of repressed lesbian fantasies. He looks like a woman, is the size of a small woman, but OMG he's got a great big penis so that proves I like men!

Although frankly, Anita's frequent harping on 'I'm not into girls, I don't get being gay, I'm just a nice little Midwestern girl' already made me suspect denial-induced homophobia.

[jeannette.livejournal.com]

I repeat my comment from the Sylvie entry:

The lesbians request that anything remotely related to Anita Blake be kept far, far away from us. KTHXBAINOW.

[pith]

Modly reminder: Oneliners aren't allowed. Please try to make posts at least 5 lines. Thanks =)

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Caught the post earlier, and immediately remembered this post with a stab of conscience. I'll be wise hereafter. :)