The Eternal Church Falls to Anita's...err...power....

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

I just read a spoiler that says Anita takes over Malcolm's vampires. Yep. They turn to her as their Master.

I'm so glad I'm done.

Comments

[x--shameless.livejournal.com]

WTF

I just... WHAT?

I'm so glad I'm getting this piece of shit for free.

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

Yep. I read it on the offical LKH board. Evidently there is a showdown at the church and Malcolm gives over the vamps to their "new" Master. And its not JC...they turn to Anita.

One of Malcolm's vamps crawls to her and she realizes "the arduer doesn't have to be an ocean. It could be a single drop of rain to wet the lips. I gave that tiny bit of power to him. Breathed it into his mouth. I found the broken pieces inside him that columbine had cut.. She had cut them with pain, offered them a warning She showed torture, I offered a kiss. I offered gentleness. I offered love. She was a threat I was promise."

*bangs head on keyboard*

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

I just really do not understand why LKH is doing what she's doing.

She has taken a concept and characters that REALLY had promise, taken a chance to really flesh out and perfect her craft and make something INTERESTING, and has instead turned it into shit.

Why?

I have really tried to understand why things are going the way they are and I just simply CANNOT wrap my head around it. I cannot see how she thinks this tripe that she is writing is GOOD. I have been trying to read DM for MONTHS now and it is so terribly agonizing. I read about a page at a time or so at a time and then I just can't take it anymore.

Honestly this whole thing is just very sad.

*sigh*

[x--shameless.livejournal.com]

A friend that works for her publisher says she's a bitch. She probably honestly doesn't realize that she's fucking up her characters/plot BIG TIME. I think Laurell believes that she can do no wrong.

[saucyirishlass.livejournal.com]

I swear my brain went dead for several seconds after reading that. It's like the thing with Rafael - maybe it shouldn't really be a surprise, but it just came out of fucking NOWHERE. Even the power-gathering in the previous books, while headdesk-worthy, made some lunatic sort of sense to what LKH had done to the books. But this? I don't even have the words for it, besides "fuckity fuck fucking motherfucker." Except all in capitals to scare the children.

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

I know. I saw what you wrote on amazon. And I felt the SAME way.

Seriously...god-complex anyone??

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

I'm just getting more convinced that she had a post-it accident and her Merry and Anita post-its got jumbled so now it truly is Meritell.

Rafael has been confused with Doyle. Anita now apparently has Merry's powers. And Merry now has Anita's mommy issues and her sex hang-ups.

[zgirl714.livejournal.com]

Dude, LKH is fun to mock, but she scares me. She is like Lockhart from HP or something.

[glitterbats.livejournal.com]

If JKR hadn't said in interviews that Lockhart was based on a man, I'd start wondering if she'd met Lauranita.

[reticentric.livejournal.com]

This should surprise me but it doesn't for some strange reason LOL. LKH is batshit crazy; and after what I read/heard about Anita going after the lions because the wife wouldn't let her husband do her [Anita]...I knew nothing else normal would ever come from her.

I mean OMGZ his wife won't let me sex him up, so I'm gonna pummelz her! How retarded. Makes me glad I hadn't paid for any of the books...thanks to the library.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_shiisa_/]

Anita going after the lions because the wife wouldn't let her husband do her

Please, tell me I didn't just reat that. Or even the Malcom thing. Please?

[unrund.livejournal.com]

*weeps*
Seriously, there are tears runnings down my cheeks. I liked the books once >_

[stefflebug.livejournal.com]

No more, I will read no more. Never again will I give that woman my money.

I got up to the spoiler for chapter 26 before my brain broke, and I'm surprised I made it that far.

Anita is the queen of the Mary Sue and I really wish that someone would let LKH know, and make her understand. She's degenerated into a farce, and the worst thing is that I'm not overly surprised by this.

I don't know about the rest of you but I saw it coming. Like pod!ward, pod!raphael and more Richard wangst, this was inevitable. I just wish I'd been wrong.

[pith]

Modly: Oneliners and other very short posts aren't allowed.

Non-Modly: I wasn't really expecting LKH to have a revelation and recant her stupid ways whilst I was gone, but this... this is just sad.

[brightlyiburn.livejournal.com]

I have to be honest with you...

I'm not certain my brain is capable of forming much more than a short post after THAT particular spoiler. It's currently skipping like a broken record.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

So why did Malcolm turn the church over to Anita? Has he decided that Mary Sue has a generous soul and will take care of all his fledglings? Is he now going to commit suicide and have a flight of angels sing him to his rest? Has Anita redeemed his soul?

My head hurts

[drisoscele.livejournal.com]

Well, its all part of Hamilton's plan to make Anita the new Mommie Darkness. Which is kind of amusing, because I keep having this image of Faye Dunaway playing Joan Crawford who in turn is playing Anita Blake.

Anita: "Nate!....Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU!"

Nate: "Yes Mommie"

Anita: " Yes, Mommie, What?"

Nate: "Yes, Mommie Darkness"

Anita: "When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it."

*Anita smacks Nate hard across the face*

Anita: "Now say it like you mean it!"

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

To which Nate grovels on the floor and licks her black thigh high leather boots with a zipper studded in black diamonds saying "Oh Mommy, hit me harder. Please Mistress of all Darkness spill, your darkness into me. I am your; animal to call."

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

I really wish she would stop pulling stuff like this:

"I gave that tiny bit of power to him. Breathed it into his mouth."

The four hundred and fifth time you use that construction, it kind of loses its impact!!!

She could at the VERY least use a comma and lowercase the B. (Why yes, I do have a red pen in my hand right now. Yes, I am tapping it menacingly at my computer screen. It's my job, don't judge meeeeeee)

[panicqueen.livejournal.com]

One of my best friends is a legal editor. When I showed her Danse Macabre, she flailed and cried that her brain was burning.

Poor editors. Trying to read LKH must be similar to climbing Everest. Poor, poor grammatically-correct people of the world.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

Oh lord I just realized something.

"One of Malcolm's vamps crawls to her and she realizes "the arduer doesn't have to be an ocean. It could be a single drop of rain to wet the lips. I gave that tiny bit of power to him. Breathed it into his mouth. I found the broken pieces inside him that columbine had cut.. She had cut them with pain, offered them a warning She showed torture, I offered a kiss. I offered gentleness. I offered love. She was a threat I was promise."

If Anita is using the ardeur to power up the Church of Eternal Life vampires then she's going to have to feed more. She's now the source of life for all the vampires in the church. Speaking logically she'd have to stay in bed 24/7 and fuck constantly to provide all the little minivamps with enough energy to stay alive.

[panicqueen.livejournal.com]

How does she pay her bills?! She used to be so independent! She didn't need men! She didn't even want men! And now, she can't live without any of them!

I work at Half-Price Books. Want to take any bets on how many copies of The Harlequin will bet there tomorrow?

/angry

[ellenel13.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH *gasps* HAHAHAHAHAHAH

She used to be disturbed by the Church of Eternal Life in book one. She's a "Christian" in book one.


The bookflogs will be beautiful.

[summersdream.livejournal.com]

This is true. The bookflogs will be wonderous. Is it bad that I actually look forward to the book release just so I can read the flogs?

[tehuti.livejournal.com]

WTF!!

:::dies:::

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

That icon just makes me giggle.

I needed that amongst all this wtf-ery.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Pffft. *has a fit of giggles* Oh the sheer ridicule! Anita Blake is NOT a MASTER VAMPIRE!! She isn't even a vampire!!!!! Oh, oh, oh, I laugh with roar indeed.

[fangedsekhmet.livejournal.com]

Everyone worships Anita.
LKH thinks everyone should worship her.

Coincidence?

Nu-uh.