Has anyone else read this wackiness?

[lyndenlaura.livejournal.com]

Slightly off-topic, but I'm curious to see if anyone else has read this book. 

So on my monthly foray to Barnes and Noble, I picked up a book called Key to Conflict, by Talia Gryphon.  Nifty cover, the premise looks promising, but there on the cover is a quote from LKH.  Not even a positive quote, just one that says "a unique idea in the paranormal genre."

I go home, open the book, look at the dedication and see that the author thanks Laurell "for taking her under her wing" and Darla (Darla's her line editor apparently.  I should have put the book away right then).

That's fine.  That doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have an Anita wannabe Mary Sue.  I start to read.

This has to be the craziest bowl of crazy I've ever read.  The heroine is annoying, whiny, and bitchy.  We're constantly told that she's this world-famous psychologist and decorated marine (she's only 26, mind) who's self-sufficient and well-respected (told, being the key word here), yet she's always having the big bad vampires/shifters/elves/ghosts (who all make her "panties wet" and are madly in love with her) bail her out. 

There's even a shoutout to LKH in there.  In this book, Laurell is "highly respected among the fae because of her Merry Gentry series".  After reading that, I threw up a little in my mouth.

What's worse than reading degenerated LKH?  Reading published material by fangirls of degenerated LKH. 

Comments

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

What huh? OMG Are you saying that Laurell is a real life background presence in Gryphon's fictional world? Yup, that's a big bowl of crazy flakes right there. Not to mention that heroine. Yikes. This is a scary book. Thanks for the warning and sorry you had to find this book first.

[arclights.livejournal.com]

That is, um, fucking horrible. D:

[x--shameless.livejournal.com]

Oh god. Thanks for the heads up, I'll be sure to stay as far away from that book as I possibly can.

How does this shit keep gettting published.

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

How does this shit keep gettting published? [sic]

Vanity presses have a long and profitable history.

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

O. M. F. G. !!
O_o i guess i'll have to read that! (if i can find it..)

btw, where's that "unique idea" LKH saw? guess she was delusional. again. or still.

[the-other-bec.livejournal.com]

I used to be in some online fanfic communities with the author. From my experiences she's a nice lady. I really, really tried to read Key to Conflict out of some loyalty to her given it was her first published novel.

I couldn't get past the third chapter so I don't know if the end gave the main character any redeeming features but what kind of alpha female, smarty pants, ex-marine would let people spank her?! Multiple times?! And then get kissy face with them?!

Yeah, due respect to the author, but not going there again.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

But if you TELL people that she's hardcore and awesome, you know she is, despite having to be rescued all the time for one lame reason or another.

I am so sick of books where the audience is told nonstop how awesome a character is, only to see a pathetic individual.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

My hopes of becoming a published author myself rise daily.

[swiftgold.livejournal.com]

Hear hear! :O

[hellfire82.livejournal.com]

What's the Sunny deal? *curious*

[malana.livejournal.com]

If I ever write a supernatural novel I'm putting in a bit about how the vampires/weres/fae all hate Hamilton for totally misrepresenting them and making them into weak, pathetic, slutty idiots.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Word.

[deire.livejournal.com]

Wow. About the same level as the Venom Cock books.

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

At least those had wonderful quotes to spread across the web.

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

Eeeewwww.

I say if anyone from lashouts ever gets published, they have to put a thinly veiled insult at LKH in their stories. We have to balance out things like this.

[the-ellcrys.livejournal.com]

Word. And a shoutout to the community.

[the-ellcrys.livejournal.com]

The sad part is that I'm going to go check it out just for the sheer trainwreck humor value.

[hellfire82.livejournal.com]

Heh. Me too. Is this why we're friends?

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

The Fae in this woman's book don't mind being represented as insatiable nymphomaniacs who are either too weak to do anything but cower before the Queen of Air and Darkness or too self-absorbed to notice that the Seelie King is completely useless? They don't mind that a half-blood is chosen to save the entire race because apparently not one single full-blooded elf was worthy of being an avatar for the Goddess? 'Cause if I were Fae, that would make me cranky.

But okay.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Evidently the fae in this woman's book have a masochistic edge, because I can't imagine anyone else being happy. "Ooooh, here's a book that makes us look like a bunch of pathetic, prettyboy little weenies who can't do anything on our own except line up to screw some halfbreed outcast! That makes us look GREAT!"

[tenaya-owlcat.livejournal.com]

The publisher sent me this book to review, and I was like the cat who was too curious, and I read it. It is the worst piece of dreck that I've read. EVER. But I had to see what happened with the train wreck, so I did finish it.

Let me tell you, I'm going to have FUN reviewing this book this month. *evil gryn* I plan on mentioning the whole "panty-liquefying" comments too. >)

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

Ooh, post it here when you're done?

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of how, in Kelley Armstrong's Industrial Magic, the narrator mentions that vampires living in New Orleans think they're at the top of the supernatural ladder since Anne Rice got popular. Then she has vampires actively trying to act out Ricean cliches- being gay, living in "Gothic mansions", talking with a French accent. One of them even changed his name from John to Hans. It made me laugh then, and now, after having read Anne Rice, it makes me laugh even harder.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, that is pretty funny. I like the idea of vampires having trends of their own.

[easol.livejournal.com]

*makes pathetic whimpering noises* Hoo boy. Is it my fevered imagination, or are we seeing more protoges of Darla and LKH in recent years?

For the record, I have never seriously heard of anyone saying that someone made their panties wet. Joking, yes, but not seriously.

Re: the cover quote, I agree that it's not very positive. "Unique" is sort of a polite, not-committing-either-way word. I suspect that LKH is one of those wacky authors who just HATE having anyone else play in the same circles as she does.

And that shout-out is making me ill. So she not only has an equally whiny, egotistical, Mary-Suey heroine, but she praises LKH IN THE TEXT OF THE BOOK? Urrrrrrggggggg... really, how low can you scrape the bucket, to mix my metaphors?

[ikona-rakasha.livejournal.com]

Kelly Armstrong is the anti-venom to Anita Blake. at least her heroine kicks some ass, isn't too whiny and there is Clay *drools*

[kyalesyin.livejournal.com]

Yup. I have a package with her two most recent books arriving sometime next month. Me and the laundry room are gonna be spending some time together.

[rinkori.livejournal.com]

In this book, Laurell is "highly respected among the fae because of her Merry Gentry series"

I don't think I've ever read asslicking that blatant.

[wyrdmuse.livejournal.com]

I don't think I coulw have been able to get past the author's name. That just screams Sue or fanfic writer to me.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, yeah. It's pretty awful -- if you're going to have a nom de plume, don't make it too obviously based on a real person ("Miranda la Pompadour") or on a fantasy creation ("Marie Pooka"). "Drake" excepted, of course.

I wonder, does she think that it will increase the readership if she has a "fantasyesque" name? It hasn't hurt the good ones yet.

[frabjously.livejournal.com]

It fails everything. D:

[ex-naomi-ja.livejournal.com]

I saw this in my local bookshop recently and was compelled to read the back. Sounded like the most godawful Mary Sue shite ever. She's a marine! And a psychiatrist! And sexy! And tough! And she can recite PI to 0.9999 decimal places!

[parafan.livejournal.com]

I have read a couple of hundred paranormals in the past year and this was the first one EVER that I was not able to finish and had to put down. Even newbie fanfic writers are a scale above this writing. Pure drivel. And scary that Laurell's girl Friday Darla seems to be her biggest fangirl. Gaaaaahhh!

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Sad thing is, I'm pretty sure I saw that book in a store recently and really liked the name "Talia Gryphon." (She even spells "gryphon" correctly! Aw.)

I confess to a mild embarassment at the thought of carrying around a book by an author named "Talia Gryphon," but I did like the sound of it. Of course now I know better. Thanks!!

[leoin.livejournal.com]

Oh geez. You know, I always have doubts that one day I'll be published but the things I read here and then find for myself while at bookstores really bolsters my confidence.

If the book my friend (and fellow Lasher here) ever gets done and makes it into the world, I promise you it will be filled with only slightly hidden insults and Lasher jokes. Just so that I can feel I've had some sort of revenge on her. lol

AHA!

[lyndenlaura.livejournal.com]

I did a Blogger search. This was in a journal that has since been purged, but this snippet still shows up when you do the search for Talia Gryphon:

"This lady is now an author who writes under the name “Talia Gryphon” (check out her website), and got her ‘big break’ when she was working as a bodyguard to Laurell K. Hamilton and was introduced to LKH’s editor."

Suddenly, it all makes perfect sense.

Re: AHA!

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Unfortunately. Meanwhile, great novels are not getting published for lack of knowing the publisher.

-Dira-

[zgirl714.livejournal.com]

Dude, none of her links work. And, her picture looks a lot like the chick on the cover.

... LKH is a plague that is spreading.