Has anyone else read this wackiness?

[lyndenlaura.livejournal.com]

Slightly off-topic, but I'm curious to see if anyone else has read this book. 

So on my monthly foray to Barnes and Noble, I picked up a book called Key to Conflict, by Talia Gryphon.  Nifty cover, the premise looks promising, but there on the cover is a quote from LKH.  Not even a positive quote, just one that says "a unique idea in the paranormal genre."

I go home, open the book, look at the dedication and see that the author thanks Laurell "for taking her under her wing" and Darla (Darla's her line editor apparently.  I should have put the book away right then).

That's fine.  That doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have an Anita wannabe Mary Sue.  I start to read.

This has to be the craziest bowl of crazy I've ever read.  The heroine is annoying, whiny, and bitchy.  We're constantly told that she's this world-famous psychologist and decorated marine (she's only 26, mind) who's self-sufficient and well-respected (told, being the key word here), yet she's always having the big bad vampires/shifters/elves/ghosts (who all make her "panties wet" and are madly in love with her) bail her out. 

There's even a shoutout to LKH in there.  In this book, Laurell is "highly respected among the fae because of her Merry Gentry series".  After reading that, I threw up a little in my mouth.

What's worse than reading degenerated LKH?  Reading published material by fangirls of degenerated LKH. 

Comments

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

What huh? OMG Are you saying that Laurell is a real life background presence in Gryphon's fictional world? Yup, that's a big bowl of crazy flakes right there. Not to mention that heroine. Yikes. This is a scary book. Thanks for the warning and sorry you had to find this book first.

[arclights.livejournal.com]

That is, um, fucking horrible. D:

[x--shameless.livejournal.com]

Oh god. Thanks for the heads up, I'll be sure to stay as far away from that book as I possibly can.

How does this shit keep gettting published.

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

O. M. F. G. !!
O_o i guess i'll have to read that! (if i can find it..)

btw, where's that "unique idea" LKH saw? guess she was delusional. again. or still.

[the-other-bec.livejournal.com]

I used to be in some online fanfic communities with the author. From my experiences she's a nice lady. I really, really tried to read Key to Conflict out of some loyalty to her given it was her first published novel.

I couldn't get past the third chapter so I don't know if the end gave the main character any redeeming features but what kind of alpha female, smarty pants, ex-marine would let people spank her?! Multiple times?! And then get kissy face with them?!

Yeah, due respect to the author, but not going there again.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

My hopes of becoming a published author myself rise daily.

[malana.livejournal.com]

If I ever write a supernatural novel I'm putting in a bit about how the vampires/weres/fae all hate Hamilton for totally misrepresenting them and making them into weak, pathetic, slutty idiots.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Word.

[deire.livejournal.com]

Wow. About the same level as the Venom Cock books.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

But if you TELL people that she's hardcore and awesome, you know she is, despite having to be rescued all the time for one lame reason or another.

I am so sick of books where the audience is told nonstop how awesome a character is, only to see a pathetic individual.

[mneiai.livejournal.com]

Eeeewwww.

I say if anyone from lashouts ever gets published, they have to put a thinly veiled insult at LKH in their stories. We have to balance out things like this.

[swiftgold.livejournal.com]

Hear hear! :O

[the-ellcrys.livejournal.com]

Word. And a shoutout to the community.

[the-ellcrys.livejournal.com]

The sad part is that I'm going to go check it out just for the sheer trainwreck humor value.

[allova.livejournal.com]

Ditto - if there's one thing this kind of tripe is good for, it's boosting self-esteem about one's own writing.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

The Fae in this woman's book don't mind being represented as insatiable nymphomaniacs who are either too weak to do anything but cower before the Queen of Air and Darkness or too self-absorbed to notice that the Seelie King is completely useless? They don't mind that a half-blood is chosen to save the entire race because apparently not one single full-blooded elf was worthy of being an avatar for the Goddess? 'Cause if I were Fae, that would make me cranky.

But okay.

[tenaya-owlcat.livejournal.com]

The publisher sent me this book to review, and I was like the cat who was too curious, and I read it. It is the worst piece of dreck that I've read. EVER. But I had to see what happened with the train wreck, so I did finish it.

Let me tell you, I'm going to have FUN reviewing this book this month. *evil gryn* I plan on mentioning the whole "panty-liquefying" comments too. >)

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of how, in Kelley Armstrong's Industrial Magic, the narrator mentions that vampires living in New Orleans think they're at the top of the supernatural ladder since Anne Rice got popular. Then she has vampires actively trying to act out Ricean cliches- being gay, living in "Gothic mansions", talking with a French accent. One of them even changed his name from John to Hans. It made me laugh then, and now, after having read Anne Rice, it makes me laugh even harder.

[lauramcvey.livejournal.com]

Ooh, post it here when you're done?

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

How does this shit keep gettting published? [sic]

Vanity presses have a long and profitable history.

[easol.livejournal.com]

*makes pathetic whimpering noises* Hoo boy. Is it my fevered imagination, or are we seeing more protoges of Darla and LKH in recent years?

For the record, I have never seriously heard of anyone saying that someone made their panties wet. Joking, yes, but not seriously.

Re: the cover quote, I agree that it's not very positive. "Unique" is sort of a polite, not-committing-either-way word. I suspect that LKH is one of those wacky authors who just HATE having anyone else play in the same circles as she does.

And that shout-out is making me ill. So she not only has an equally whiny, egotistical, Mary-Suey heroine, but she praises LKH IN THE TEXT OF THE BOOK? Urrrrrrggggggg... really, how low can you scrape the bucket, to mix my metaphors?

[easol.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, that is pretty funny. I like the idea of vampires having trends of their own.

[ikona-rakasha.livejournal.com]

Kelly Armstrong is the anti-venom to Anita Blake. at least her heroine kicks some ass, isn't too whiny and there is Clay *drools*

[easol.livejournal.com]

Evidently the fae in this woman's book have a masochistic edge, because I can't imagine anyone else being happy. "Ooooh, here's a book that makes us look like a bunch of pathetic, prettyboy little weenies who can't do anything on our own except line up to screw some halfbreed outcast! That makes us look GREAT!"

[booster-blue.livejournal.com]

At least those had wonderful quotes to spread across the web.