I just don't know how to 'read' this...

[ctrl-issue.livejournal.com]

Aloha, not first time poster, but usual lurker. I've got a question regarding one author's remark about her 'fantasy run in' with LKH.



So, I'm a slasher. I like hot guys with hot guys. Obvoiusly, LKH and a few trillion other authors do to as long as they get to put their self-inserts/Mary Sues in with the hot man on man love (otherwise the vanity presses that I watch wouldn't have such a HUGE selection of such 'stories').

Be that as it may, I've read several 'gay romance novels' in the past, most of them dealing with either cowboys or werewolves (you'd be SHOCKED at how many there are that fall into these two catagories), or a combination of the two. Over the course of my 'research' I've come across a slew of bad, bad, really bad, and some okay stories, and most of the time I leave reviews for said stories in my Lj so that my friends and those who just want to troll my journal can find 'em.

Sometimes, the actual authors respond in my Lj, which is... interesting. Creepy, but interesting.

Most of these writers have journals all their own.

That, my friends, is how LKH gets involved. You see, I've been reading some works done by J.L. Langly over on her shared blog with a few other M/M writers. She's recently made a post where she talks about the difficulties of writing long sex scenes with only male characters:

The biggest issue I’ve run into with Jake and Remi and their not wanting to quit is I’ve discovered there just aren’t that many words for the male anatomy. Cock(my favorite word btw, watch out LKH, if I ever meet her I’m getting her drunk and teaching her to say it AND write it) dick an prick, with an occasional “shaft” and “balls” thrown in are just about all I can think of. I refuse to use purple prose to describe them. There will be no “purple headed warriors” or “vermilion love wands” in my stories, sorry, I’m liable to barf all over my keyboard if forced to resort to that. Of course, the idea of giving each character’s cock a name, has crossed my mind. But that would kill the mood and more than likely set me off in a fit of giggles that would result in throwing me off my writing schedule. And getting of the schedule would be very bad. Although, it might be worth it just to see the VEPB’s reaction.

Now, I admit, I've had other problems with this woman's work namely that she does like most fic writers out there and makes EVERY AVAILABLE MALE GAY, but I just don't know how to take this. Is it a slight dig at LKH, or does she honestly respect the woman? Because if she does... I'll have absolutely NO respect for her. I... I just can't. Does she honestly think that LKH does well written sex scenes? Because... they're not. I just... my mind, it does not wrap around this problem.

I mean, of all the things I could think of to talk about with a drunk LKH, her names for the male anatomy wouldn't even come up in the top ten.

BTW- Mods, I'm leaving this open, unless you think I should hide it.

Comments

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I'd say it's definitely a dig, from someone who writes sex scenes and has apparently gotten annoyed at LKH's inability to use the proper words for things. Kind of like my mother, who's a lawyer, being unable to watch courtroom dramas without bitching about the inaccuracies.

[ctrl-issue.livejournal.com]

Okay, good. As long as she didn't, you know, go there. I mean, LKH has already ruined all fiction (fan or original) from first person POV. I'd hate for her to ruin other authors for me, too even if I only read them for the LULZ.

[clover-elf-kin.livejournal.com]

I can't really use the proper names either--none of them really sound right, somehow.

Ergo, I do not write sex scenes. ;-) Although I realize sooner or later, I likely will have to. Anything like "fleshy pole of love" will NOT appear!

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I have the exact same problem! But nothing squicks me more than writers like LKH using phrases like, "I held him in my hand" as though the man is *nothing more* than his penis for the purposes of shagging.

[ctrl-issue.livejournal.com]

See, even when was reading her work, I skipped the sex scenes. *shrugs*

But thank you for the input. ^_^

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

And not just the cock - I'm sure we all remember the phrase "places that don't normally lubricate themselves".

[vmisery.livejournal.com]

"Cock" isn't even that bad a word. It's short, it's direct, and it has a nice, satisfying (no pun intended) sound to it. It's a great word!

[ctrl-issue.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I gotta say, I prefer cock to prick. Prick just sounds so... insulting. Or English. Maybe both. XP

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

When I read or hear "Dong" my mind automatically thinks "Bong". That can lead to some pretty scary visuals.

And LKH doens't use cock? That is weird and I hate all those "rod" and newy type of words too. I skipped her "sex" scenes in the books I read.

Please, tell me she, at least, uses penis or vagina? Now that I think of it, how does Laurita refer to her...crotch (o' doom).

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

"Prick" sounds very... painful to me. Must be because the verb "to prick" tends to involve needles. Yeah, like I want people getting near my tender parts with needles.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Yeah, both - 'prick' is a mild insult in the UK. No way could I take a sex scene seriously if it used the word prick. :D

[ctrl-issue.livejournal.com]

and yet, M/M stories are slathered with it. *shakes head* which means that I giggle and roll my eyes every time I read a sex-scene.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

I think cock and penis are the only words that don't make me giggle like a schoolgirl or raise my eyebrows.

Hence, reading m/m porn can be pretty interesting/painful. XD

[alucard66.livejournal.com]

I think she's only used the word "cock" once. It wasn't even during a sex scene; Anita claimed that she needed more than "a big cock" to have sex with someone (even though most of her lovers are well-endowed...).

And in addition to "hardness", LKH seems to be fond of the word "length". Which is probably worse than "hardness".