Bathtubs are not the magical filtration devices you think they are...

[othellia.livejournal.com]

So, I was re-skimming "The Killing Dance" last night.



Wow... well first, I had forgotten that there was actually a time when all of the other females in Anita-verse weren't major bitches that suffered from Freudian penis envy. (And yes, I use this term in the contemporary metaphorical sense, unlike LKH who just uses it and had no idea what she's talking about.) Ah... Raina, how I miss you.

Anyway, so I got to the part where Richard transforms on top of Anita, covers her in werewolf goo, and then goes and eats Marcus (with Raina, I might add.) So, Anita freaks out and returns to the Circus, thus starting off the first Anita sex scene of the series. But yeah, about that. May I remind you that at this point Anita is still covered in werewolf guck, something that she describes as a mix between blood and glue. She has to peel off her clothes since it's so caked on. Naturally, she gets into the bath and starts scrubbing it off with gardenia smelling soap and herbal shampoo that might have been Herbal Essences complete with orgasm if it hadn't been for the fact that Anita monologued that Jean-Claude didn't buy store brand.

So let's look at our bathtub now. It's got soap, shampoo (which is basically soap for hair), and werewolf goo in it. It probably doesn't look clean, and I'll bet monopoly money that it's going to taste nasty if someone drinks/licks it... which is precisely what Anita does when Jean-Claude falls in a couple pages later. Eww...

Okay. I know LKH has a problem with consistency, but it's only a few fricken pages. The sad part is, I don't think she ever learns. In later books there's still (lots of) sex in dirty bathtubs complete with the whole licking thing; just replace the werewolf goo with sex goo (not to be confused with sex-fu). It's like the bath tub suddenly gets the dirty-water-draining properties of the shower, but retains the bubbles (which don't taste like soap) and that whole completely-immersed-in-water thing. Perhaps this new device's name should be changed to The Bath Tub.

...

Oh. And slightly related, since it deals with the bathroom.

"[Jean-Claude's] feet were startlingly pale against the black carpet." Chapter 39, The Killing Dance (I don't know the page number.)

He has carpet... in the bathroom... I'm sorry, but my brain has just died... again. You could put down a rug in the bathroom or maybe a fuzzy mat. But to CARPET THE WHOLE THING?!? Eesh... I bet Jean-Claude gets his designing inspiration from Trading Spaces.

Comments

[candyuniverse.livejournal.com]

As often as JC seems to completely redecorate the entire dungeon, he probably DOES change out the carpet every few months. Seems like every time Whorenita walks in the place, it looks different, doesn't it?

[mystickiwi.livejournal.com]

And how does LKH give him these details and not catch on that he's supposed to be gay with Asher? I French Vampire who likes lacey things, owns a male strip club, and likes to redecorate?

Argh!

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

Do they not have bisexual people in your world? I love how people here complain about Anita being allergic to girl-sexing, and then in the next breath say, "Jean-Claude's gay 'cause he had sex with Asher!" Is Belle Morte a lesbian because she had vampire-sex with Anita? Bi-sexual. Means you like both genders.

For crying out loud, Jean-Claude was doing the horizontal mambo with Julianna (you know, Asher's human servant?) centuries before Anita was born. That seems to indicate a taste for women. Also, for a guy who was born in Europe centuries ago, wearing lace tells nothing about his sexuality.

Also, the male strip club?

Item one: clubs with female strippers are a dime a dozen. Places with male strippers are much rarer. Supply/demand. Jean-Claude is a business vampire.
Item two: Straight men would not be pleased with Jean-Claude's voice tricks, nor would they be likely to want to suck face with him to help feed the ardeur.
Item three: Female vamps of Belle's line are apparently in high demand among vampire groups, whereas males of Belle's line are barely tolerated by most MotCs. Thus, Jean-Claude could very easily get lots of pretty males for his stage, whereas getting pretty females would be a pain.