[identity profile] othellia.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] lkh_lashouts
So, I was re-skimming "The Killing Dance" last night.



Wow... well first, I had forgotten that there was actually a time when all of the other females in Anita-verse weren't major bitches that suffered from Freudian penis envy. (And yes, I use this term in the contemporary metaphorical sense, unlike LKH who just uses it and had no idea what she's talking about.) Ah... Raina, how I miss you.

Anyway, so I got to the part where Richard transforms on top of Anita, covers her in werewolf goo, and then goes and eats Marcus (with Raina, I might add.) So, Anita freaks out and returns to the Circus, thus starting off the first Anita sex scene of the series. But yeah, about that. May I remind you that at this point Anita is still covered in werewolf guck, something that she describes as a mix between blood and glue. She has to peel off her clothes since it's so caked on. Naturally, she gets into the bath and starts scrubbing it off with gardenia smelling soap and herbal shampoo that might have been Herbal Essences complete with orgasm if it hadn't been for the fact that Anita monologued that Jean-Claude didn't buy store brand.

So let's look at our bathtub now. It's got soap, shampoo (which is basically soap for hair), and werewolf goo in it. It probably doesn't look clean, and I'll bet monopoly money that it's going to taste nasty if someone drinks/licks it... which is precisely what Anita does when Jean-Claude falls in a couple pages later. Eww...

Okay. I know LKH has a problem with consistency, but it's only a few fricken pages. The sad part is, I don't think she ever learns. In later books there's still (lots of) sex in dirty bathtubs complete with the whole licking thing; just replace the werewolf goo with sex goo (not to be confused with sex-fu). It's like the bath tub suddenly gets the dirty-water-draining properties of the shower, but retains the bubbles (which don't taste like soap) and that whole completely-immersed-in-water thing. Perhaps this new device's name should be changed to The Bath Tub.

...

Oh. And slightly related, since it deals with the bathroom.

"[Jean-Claude's] feet were startlingly pale against the black carpet." Chapter 39, The Killing Dance (I don't know the page number.)

He has carpet... in the bathroom... I'm sorry, but my brain has just died... again. You could put down a rug in the bathroom or maybe a fuzzy mat. But to CARPET THE WHOLE THING?!? Eesh... I bet Jean-Claude gets his designing inspiration from Trading Spaces.

Date: 2007-11-30 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadisticsidhe.livejournal.com
Okay the bathtub image has made me nearly physically ill. I know will read that and hope that she goes "Ew, tastes nasty." I bet Jean-Claude has magical tastes delicious soap.

One of my Grandma's bathrooms is fully carpeted, not going to lie it always confused me. I thought it was strange and possibly unsanitary.

Date: 2007-11-30 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mystickiwi.livejournal.com
There's full carpeting in my parents bathroom (we didn't design the house) it makes the room smell like mold whenever you take a shower.

And that's just gross. I could comment more on werewolf goo in bathtubs, but I don't even want to think about. ickyickyicky.

Date: 2007-11-30 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com
Not directed toward you by any means, upon reading "So, I was re-skimming "The Killing Dance" last night--" my first uncensored thought was Well, there's your first mistake.

Date: 2007-11-30 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fangedsekhmet.livejournal.com
My mother went through this phase of carpeting the bathroom. I fought tooth and claw for waterproof flooring and won! I still shudder at the colour the grey carpet went, and the things that went on it.

Date: 2007-12-01 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzycat.livejournal.com
When I lived in England, our flat had carpet in the KITCHEN. I mean GOD.

*shudder*

Date: 2007-12-01 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robindaybird.livejournal.com
before my parents redid the floor, we had tacky 70s carpet in the kitchen.

Date: 2007-11-30 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jadelioness.livejournal.com
I miss Raina too. She was one of my favorites. But of course, she had to go. Can't have other females stealing Anita's thunder.

Date: 2007-12-01 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] easol.livejournal.com
Especially other females who have and enjoy sex.

Date: 2007-12-02 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shikishinobi.livejournal.com
Good call. Upon you saying that, I thought of a few instances where that does become the case. Good call!

Date: 2007-12-02 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jadelioness.livejournal.com
Yeah...she is everything Anita isn't. Raina may be a sex-hungry bitch, but at least she admits it and is comfortable with herself.

Date: 2007-11-30 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darkese.livejournal.com
LKH's writing has always been along the lines of 'don't look too closely' for me. It's light fun read but you do need to turn off your thinking cap. They turn into a trainwreck when you have to keep your thinking cap off and have brain damage to enjoy.

Carpet in the bathroom is disgusting and I'll one up you. My mom used to have a carpet cover on the toilet seat cover. *shudder*

On the other hand, if I was a vampire who hadn't gone poop or pee in 200 years, I would probably carpet the whole bathroom too.

Date: 2007-12-01 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] glitterbats.livejournal.com
That last bit was what excused it in my head. I mean, IIRC that was his private bath, so it wasn't like much other than the bath-tub and sink got used on a regular basis. Hell, it'd probably be really nice in winter months.

Edit: There's no excuse for the tub's magical properties, though.
Edited Date: 2007-12-01 12:25 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-12-01 03:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darkese.livejournal.com
I wouldn't run out and put carpet the shower but it would be something I wouldn't be adverse to either ..maybe. I dunno - I've never been a 200 year old vampire who doesn't pee or poop.

And really, baths are gross to me. Just sitting there and stewing in your own dirt. Whenever I take a bath (because I've been convinced it will be relaxing) I have to shower after. Sex and goo and who knows what in a bath just isn't sexy. Add in molding carpet and my gag reflex would be kicking in.

Date: 2007-12-01 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzycat.livejournal.com
You fool! Shower *first*. Then you are clean and you can soak deliciously in clean water with any oils or whatever you want to add.

Date: 2007-12-01 04:00 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-12-02 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shikishinobi.livejournal.com
You are absolutely correct. I studied Japanese for close to 10 years, and you got that down to the fine arts. A+ for you!

Date: 2007-12-01 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] candyuniverse.livejournal.com
As often as JC seems to completely redecorate the entire dungeon, he probably DOES change out the carpet every few months. Seems like every time Whorenita walks in the place, it looks different, doesn't it?

Date: 2007-12-01 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mystickiwi.livejournal.com
And how does LKH give him these details and not catch on that he's supposed to be gay with Asher? I French Vampire who likes lacey things, owns a male strip club, and likes to redecorate?

Argh!

Date: 2007-12-02 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roguetailkinker.livejournal.com
Do they not have bisexual people in your world? I love how people here complain about Anita being allergic to girl-sexing, and then in the next breath say, "Jean-Claude's gay 'cause he had sex with Asher!" Is Belle Morte a lesbian because she had vampire-sex with Anita? Bi-sexual. Means you like both genders.

For crying out loud, Jean-Claude was doing the horizontal mambo with Julianna (you know, Asher's human servant?) centuries before Anita was born. That seems to indicate a taste for women. Also, for a guy who was born in Europe centuries ago, wearing lace tells nothing about his sexuality.

Also, the male strip club?

Item one: clubs with female strippers are a dime a dozen. Places with male strippers are much rarer. Supply/demand. Jean-Claude is a business vampire.
Item two: Straight men would not be pleased with Jean-Claude's voice tricks, nor would they be likely to want to suck face with him to help feed the ardeur.
Item three: Female vamps of Belle's line are apparently in high demand among vampire groups, whereas males of Belle's line are barely tolerated by most MotCs. Thus, Jean-Claude could very easily get lots of pretty males for his stage, whereas getting pretty females would be a pain.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-12-01 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oui-je-danse.livejournal.com
All I noticed the first time was the rug thing, especially when they began splashing around in the tub. It never occurred to me about the nast water. Maybe it's because we're all shower people and aren't used to how tubs act?
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-12-01 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oui-je-danse.livejournal.com
You should cover yourself with a mixture of honey and flour first. That way you can report back to us on how nasty the water becomes.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-12-01 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] easol.livejournal.com
Hell, have the plumber just replace it all. Because once it clogged, it would probably harden into an impenetrable plug that only major-league acid could remove.

Date: 2007-12-01 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nimnix.livejournal.com
Ew... I didn't need to picture this.
*Is really glad for having a shower*

Date: 2007-12-01 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] easol.livejournal.com
Ewwwwwww, that is really gross. I know everything is supposed to become flowers and velvet and sex when Whorenita shtups JC, but why can't she just rinse out the tub a few times beforehand?

And I HATE bathroom carpet. It's just so gross -- I cringe to think what sorts of nasty things might be growing down there.

Date: 2007-12-01 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vmisery.livejournal.com
Wow. That must breed some truly righteous drain wookiees, too. Especially with so many guys with long hair around.

Date: 2007-12-01 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teacup-carousel.livejournal.com
I dunno maybe part of being Master of the City is you have some poor bloke always coming in to take care of your bathroom carpeting. God can you imagine the poor folks at the circus who are always on cleanup duty after Whorenita has paid them a visit? No pillow mints for you!

The description of the bathtub has made me physically want to retch.

Date: 2007-12-01 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morriganscrow.livejournal.com
*is contemplating the size, and texture, of the 'ring around the tub'*
Now I feel really sick!

Date: 2007-12-01 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwg.livejournal.com
I've been in display houses that have plush carpeting that goes into the bathroom. I don't understand why people do it, as it's my understanding that bathroom areas are likely to involve things like water, so it's better to have something a little less absorbant -- like, oh, I don't know, tiles? -- lining the floor and walls. But that's my crazy theory, and goodness knows, I'm prepared to be proven wrong on it. Gravity is also up for debate.

I struggle to come to terms with the whole "orgy sized bathtub" concept in the first place, because unless you're a Roman, it's called a swimming pool or possibly hot tub.

But all that said, I spent a few years being traumatised by constant, very bad, AB:VH RPG tubsex. I don't need that shit in the canon now!

Date: 2007-12-01 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] longtail.livejournal.com
Oh god, YUCK! I totally missed that before! I'm going to be recoiling over that scene forever more now. X(

Hmm, we had carpet in our bathroom when I was growing up, except it was a thick, flat kind of carpeting like what you'd find in an office and a dark blue color. We never had a problem with it.

Date: 2007-12-02 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shikishinobi.livejournal.com
Thank you for bringing that to light... I hadn't noticed...eew.
There is a type of seriously thin carpet you can have instead of tiles or lineo, but I don't know what it is called. Doesn't mold quickly and feels better than cold tiles in the middle of winter.
But that scene... eew. I have read TKD and while I do recall the bathroom scene (too bad not the shower scene, if you catch my drift) but I must have had a brain lank, because I don't remember much of it. I just remember him climbing in, lots of talking followed by sex, and wangsty Richard rocking up later.
I might start reading the Amber Butterfly, to see if I can follow the plot again. I doubt it, but I have been advised it is a good once-off read that is detatched from the series. I might respond to it.

Date: 2007-12-02 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denouement16.livejournal.com
Gah! I failed to consider the crap in the tub when I first read that. I was all about the sex with JC, so I didn't really think about the rest (Please forgive me, but I was in high school at the time and failed to understand how unrealistic the sex scenes were:)

The bathroom carpet is awful. My parents used to have carpet in the bathroom, but it was there when we moved in and has been removed now. My apartment has bathroom carpeting and I hate it!!!! It gets wet, takes forever to dry, and smells a little off all the time. The weirdest part is that the bathroom is the only carpeted room in the apartment. I have no idea what possessed my landlord to carpet that room and only that room.

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