Verbal annoyances

[easol.livejournal.com]

Y'know, people often talk about LKH's unbelievable metaphors ("evil chocolate in your ice cream" or whatever the hell that was), her smells, her silly "gawth" names, or her tendency to describe in detail what every character is wearing. But I find that there are a lot of verbal tics that bother me just as much.

Edit -- Similes: It feels like LKH cannot go through a paragraph without at least one terrible and/or vague simile, even when a simile is not needed. "... the fire burned us both like a force of nature"? Yeah, way to kill the drama.

Shading: Note to LKH -- I do not care how many shades lighter X's eyes are than Y's, or how many shades darker their shirt is. What are you using, paint chips?

"... Across My Skin": Words cannot express how sick I am of this phrase.

"White Bread": I hate this with a passion. What the hell is wrong with just saying "Hispanic" or "black"?

Rude conversations: If you are going to have people talking about the heroine like she isn't even there, then write books in the third person. It's just annoying to have people dissecting Whorenita's emotions while she sits there and drools.

Well, that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Does anyone else have 'em?

Comments

[thisdistance.livejournal.com]

"He made it a question." She uses it all the goddamn time, and I want to scream "THE QUESTION MARK MADE IT A QUESTION, YOU STUPID COW!" This has been bothering me far longer than the books themselves have.

Also, "go" instead of "come", because what the hell is that about?

And that thing about "he looked at me the way a man looks at a woman when he knows she'll do anything he wants" and variations of same. You can get away with that one time, missy, but not in every goddamn book. It stops sounding like it means anything after that. Plus, different men give you different looks. Some of them - no doubt some of the men Anita is doing - give you incredulous looks.

Oh, and "my blood looks the same on white marble as on black". Wrong, dumbass. Your blood would be a lot more striking on the white marble, because it's WHITE.

[alucard66.livejournal.com]

"Louis Fane--Dr. Louie Fane, thank you very much."

This has been used in several books (BO and DM, for instance) and every time the phrase is used, the name is misspelled every single time. Either it ends with an s or an e. Please stick with one or the other.

Also . . . okay, he has his doctorate, great. Do we need to be reminded of this fact every time the character's mentioned? Not particularly.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

"my blood looks the same on white marble as on black"

I can't read that phrase without holding my hand to my brow, gothic-heroine-martyr style.

[bludflower.livejournal.com]

"He made it a question." She uses it all the goddamn time, and I want to scream "THE QUESTION MARK MADE IT A QUESTION, YOU STUPID COW!" This has been bothering me far longer than the books themselves have.

Oh, my God! That one had me throwing books ALL of the time. I can't believe I forgot my worse LKH peeve until now.