Upcoming art -- run for your life

[easol.livejournal.com]

Time to snark on the artwork of the upcoming comic books, whose covers are out even if they aren't. I'm DYING to see the eleventh and twelfth. These are pretty much all awful -- acceptable at best, but mostly incomprehensible and poorly drawn.

Anyway, we have only a few more days before the ghastliness of Chapter 8 is upon us (a few days before my birthday), so this might tide us over since all she's rambling about is travelling, "Naurto and Saske," and continuing to taint my deep love of Psych.



Apparently this is the next one, and I must say I'm deeply unimpressed. It looks like someone was trying to mimic the style of great portraits, and failed miserably. Note JC's GINORMOUS bendy HANDS, strangely tiny head, and a weird shirt he must have made specifically to show peccage. I betcha if you look back at old period clothes, you will NEVER find that chest-baring crap that LKH is always going on about.

What is he eating anyway? Why would he dipping his fingers into a bowl like that? Very gross.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41jk0FeXv3L._SS500_.jpg

This one is semi-decent, except that we still have Anita pretending to be all tough, and Phillip looking doe-eyed. But at least it's drawn decently.
http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/Comic/GuiltyPleasures8-2.gif

I do NOT know who this is. Well, whoever it is, they obviously wouldn't last long in the series -- blonde, female, does not have thighs the size of a smoked ham, and taller than a hobbit. Ummmm, Ronnie destroying a stained glass window?
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51tZkWKIpNL._SS500_.jpg

Break out LKH's tissues, cuz she is so sensitive she cannot stand the sight of a weightlifter covered in Kool-aid. Gives new meaning to "torture porn."
http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/Comic/ABComicCover10.gif

EDIT: Also, I'm putting in this link
http://www.the-isb.com/?p=252
because if I made a separate post, I don't think I could ramble on long enough to justify it. It's more Chris snark!

Comments

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

Wait, LKH is a Narutard?

D: D: D: Just what that fandom does not need...

[easol.livejournal.com]

She can't be that much of a fan if she can't even spell the two male leads' names correctly. Wonder what kind of mess she'd make out of Sakura's name... or, God help us, Jiraiya, Gamatatsu, Shikamaru...

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

OMG, I about died when I read about NAURTO. I don't even WATCH Naruto and I know how to properly spell Sasuke. *sigh* Oh LKH.

Covers:

Well you know what they say about big hands and feet. *cough*

And Dude, Philip has some GREAT hair for being all chained up 'n shit.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Well, vampires are very picky about appearances -- if they're going to torture and dismember you, they want you to look nice. They even throw in a free shampoo and conditioning, plus blow dry!

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

Underground dungeon: forty thousand dollars and the sweat, blood, and tears of countless slaves

Chains: thirty bucks

Cherry koolaid: forty cents

Haircut, shampoo, conditioning, and blow dry: twenty bucks.

Looking perfect for a rousing round of TORTURE!: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Pr0N.

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Is JC licking mercury off his strangly puffy fingers?

[delphinapterus.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. It's Bertie but I couldn't tell you which episode I'm sorry.

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

.....Jean-Claude, seriously, bloody blueberries?

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

LKH is a Naruto fan...

Guys, let's monitor fanfiction.net Naruto section. We need to look for a tough, short, kind of pudgy female OC who ends up banging all the canon males. XD

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Too late. I'm sure there are already a ton of sues like that. Now AB:VH/Naruto crossovers, that's where... oh wait. She's outlawed her own stuff on the pit. Nevermind.

[rin-x-x.livejournal.com]

MSN Groups. It's never stopped people there before.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

You know, "outlawed" doesn't mean "not written". I mean, look at all the porn on the Pit! THAT'S supposed to be outlawed! Not to mention the Real Person Fic, etc...

[talymil.livejournal.com]

God I wish I had a "You out of my fandom" icon. It would be very apt.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

Hmm... If that one picture is of Ronnie, I have too actually give the artist some props. She looks cooler in that one picture than Anita has throughout all the other volumes. (Perhaps the artist is drawing bad on purpose?)

And Jean-Claude's sleeves look like someone pumped air into them. XD

As for the "Naurto"... *points to icon*

[easol.livejournal.com]

I actually wondered that, when I went back to Ronnie's first appearance. She is wearing a tank that says "I'm the cute one," while Whorenita is drinking from a mug that says "#1 Bitch."

Couldn't help but wonder if there was a slight message in there from the artist. ;)

I think it must be Ronnie -- there are only two blondes in the story that I can remember, and she's one of 'em. The other is Nikolaos of the freaky flowy hair and TP ribbons. It's been awhile, so I may have forgotten someone...

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

With the last one . . . where the hell is all that blood coming from?

Those ears are TITANIC.

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

I can't get over how entirely emotionless the picture of Chained Up-Philip is. Though I guess he looks sort of emo... even has some crying action. I want to Photoshop him with black hair, moaning about the shackles on his wrists not being any match for the shackles on his soul.

[no-ron.livejournal.com]

how that piece of "art" could have "affected" her [=> check the relevant blog here] and where she saw all those things she emo-ed about, i for the love of god don't know.

"chained up and looking into the "camera" with that hopelessness in his eyes [...] didn't expect to be saved. He gave up before Anita did, before I did. It was all there in Phillip's eyes, all there staring up at me from the pencils"

wtf. with all them ripping, bulging muscles and tensing arms. "air of tragedy" a rat's ass!
ok. maybe it was tickle torture he went through..

[shadowbloodwing.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. Just what the Naruto fandom doesn't need, more bad porn authors. Though I'd love to see the mess she makes out of trying to spell Orochimaru, or the eventual "omggirlyman!!" that's bound to happen. XD

The art is decent, though; better than the previous issues.

[skeezix74.livejournal.com]

I still can't figure out why JC & Anita have the exact same hair and why they all seem to be unable to keep it from falling over one eye!

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

GODDAMN I love Chris. These issues are just that much better for his snark. No shirts. No shirts.