Blog Flog: The Speshul Snowflake Complains Some More

[alondra-del-sol.livejournal.com]

Her most recent post awoke the urge for some snarkiness from me. A very *head-desk* response.

The post is here, for those who want to be subjected to the full insanity.



LKH in Bold. Myself, normal.

The first sentence struck me.

People ask me, how do I write on days when I don't want to write?
Sit down, suck it up, and do it? Oh but wait, the speshul snowflake must use every excuse to complain about how oh so difficult her job is. *sigh and eyeroll* My head doth protest already.

What do I do when the muse is not only not whispering in my ear, but it feels like she's taken a vacation without me?
Rejoice that the meds have finally taken hold, and the world can declare you sane??

Well, below is part of that answer. I will hit cap lock and give myself permission to complain. To state why I can't possibly work today.
Oh LKH, as if you need permission. We know that only lowly mortals such as ourselves need such permission, especially since you must demonstrate your speshulness by complaining 'round the clock.

LKH then graces with a long, windy rant in all caps which she 'resisted' the urge to edit, because all know how dedicated she is to editing, continuity, and the like. Let us pause here to collectively roll our eyes. In any case, in short, the dog named Sasquatch pissed on her new chair, and the dog that is blind (Phouka) knocked some stuff over. Then she goes on to equate Phouka to a bull-dozer since apparently she'll run full on into anything. Now I must say that I do feel sorry for the doggie running into everything, but there are certain remedies one could think of for such a problem, including leashes and fences.

So to re-cap, she is bitching about the dog peeing on something and the other knocking things over. Would it kill her to, you know, put the dogs out in another room? Of course if she did this then poor Laurel would have to complain how wonely she is with just her darkity-darkness to keep her company. Give me a break. If the cat is driving me nuts then I'll put her out no matter how adorable her little face is. It means she wants to be out running around, tending to her own business anyway. Then she complains about how she is out of tea, but she can't go get more tea because then the doggies will follow her and thus she'll mess up the order and peace in the universe...I mean, her office.

Then there is some angsting and darkity-darkness about the doggie that passed on.

Another reference to the tea and messing the peace and order of the universe.

Okay, this is me again, and not the unstopping of the creative clog. After I wrote the above I did three pages on the new Merry book.
Only LKH could relate the muse to drain imagery, but I think it needs more than a little venting to unclog said creative piping. More like a max dose of draino, now if only she would drink it...I kid! I wouldn't wish such a thing on anybody, though her writing has been shown to cause aneurisms in sane people.

Oh and we should probably pause here to be amazed at the page count of her greatness after such an oh so difficult day. If I had a dollar for every mess or disruption my kitties caused me, I would be a very rich woman and yet I somehow manage to get things done...a shocking concept, I know.

Then we end on an inspirational note.

Some days the free form writing is nothing but a list of why I can't write, but sometimes, like today, it's a rough blog, or a thought, or the beginnings of an essay, or some stray thought caught and put on paper when I'm trying to catch a very specific thought that eludes me.
Unfortunately, many specific thoughts elude Laurell. Like plot, characterization, the list goes on.

Anyway, hope this helps any of you would-be writers to find your own way to prime your pumps, and get the clog out of the way so the muse can whisper sweet somethings in your ear. I mean, who really wants sweet nothings whispered in your ear?
Prime our pumps?? Once again with the drain and piping imagery. Not to mention as far as I know priming one's pump and removing a clog are somewhat unrelated processes. Of course Laurell's similies and metaphors are always fantastic and make things easier to understand... *scoffs*.

Silly Laurell...mistaking her muse for the long haired, vanilla scented, sex fiends lurking about in her mind. Also how silly to think they actually have something worth saying, because as far as I can tell they are 'nothing' but pointless. Of course she's the speshul snowflake who must listen to the voices in her head.

*Sigh* It never fails, reading her blog just makes me roll my eyes. Anyway, enjoy the flog. :)

Comments

[atypia.livejournal.com]

I don't understand how she manages to feel that her life is so terribly, terribly hard.

As you just summed up so well, the dogs were annoying her and she ran out of tea. That's it. THAT'S FUCKING IT.

The caps lock did make me laugh a lot though.

[alondra-del-sol.livejournal.com]

I know, it really annoys me. She takes minor annoyances as an excuse for the disruption of an entire day. I mean I can understand that some days you can work and work and work on things and you get nothing you like. Sometimes it just happens, but she doesn't even bother to put effort into it and then she complains. She's a headache waiting to happen.

[duchym.livejournal.com]

I can actually understand how a dog peeing on the furniture can make for a bad day. On the other hand, peeing and pooping in inappropriate places is part and parcel of owning elderly dogs - who are not noted for their continence. We actually have this problem now with my fourteen year old black lab. We just keep him in one area of the house where he can do the least amount of damage, spend time with him as much as possible and love him while we still have him, and plan on replacing the furniture and flooring when nature eventually takes its course.

This is just something you have to live with sometimes...at least Hamilton has housekeeping help and probably did not have to clean up the dog's mess herself.

[kethryvis.livejournal.com]

I have found that when I'm working on something (esp. writing a paper), and I find that any series of little things cause me to NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING (fan blowing a little piece of hair in my face, can't get comfy, my books aren't in the right place, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, oh my favourite tv show is on, etc.), it's because I don't want to write. In other words, it's procrastination. I don't like my topic and don't feel that I can expound upon it well, so I fiddle around and do things I want to do instead of this thing I don't (like catching up on LJ when I'm supposed to be working on stats homework!)

There's a part of me that wonders if LKH really *enjoys* her job anymore, enjoys writing, loves what she does. The way she complains about it all the time makes me think that she's lost the joy of writing (happens when you write multiple books in a year I'd imagine). I think she needs a vacation... and then a re-evaluation of if this is REALLY what she wants to do with her life.

[atypia.livejournal.com]

I think she might enjoy the writing, but she doesn't enjoy the work involved in making her writing appropriate for publishing.

I think she is more suited to just writing for fun, for her own pleasure.

I think you're right as well, though. It often sounds like it's gotten to the point for her that she enjoys very little of what she does.

But maybe she's just a chronic whinger ;P

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

sometimes, like today, it's a rough blog, or a thought, or the beginnings of an essay

Julia Cameron (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Cameron) does, in fact, recommend writing something, anything, to get yourself through a block. She does not, however, tell you to go on the internet and inflict it on others. :P

[wonderbink.livejournal.com]

Pretty much what I was going to say. A good headdump, especially to release any resistance or frustration you may have, is an effective tonic to get one writing again. She's capable of getting at least some things right.

But you don't share it with the rest of the world, for fuck's sake. That's like showing people your poop.

[skahi.livejournal.com]

EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

(Phouka)

Please tell me that isn't pronounced as 'fucker'. O_O

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

o_O I thought it was pronounced "Pooka". Where on earth did you get that idea?

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Because 'ph' is pronounced as a 'f'? O_o

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

It probably is "Pooka" and the "h" is silent.

[windiain.livejournal.com]

If this were anyone but LKH, I wouldn't doubt that for a second. XD

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "Poo-ka" like, uh, a pooka. *is randomly reminded of Harvey*

[alondra-del-sol.livejournal.com]

Random: I <3 that icon. FFVII for the win ;)

And I concur with Pooka, like Pookie, or whatever. :)

[easol.livejournal.com]

Very fond of rumpots, crackpots, and how are you, Mr. Wilson?

[surcia.livejournal.com]

I did the sound design for that show. There are so many telephones in it. But yeah, I think that's just a fancy spelling for 'pooka'.

[jazzymegster.livejournal.com]

I'd pronounce it "Fooka" myself. But your alternative crossed my mind as I read it...

[windiain.livejournal.com]

Hooray! Someone else as crazy as I am! :D

[jazzymegster.livejournal.com]

Haha, I blame it on crazy Irish phonetics! That and I am seriously foul-mouthed. Besides which, all the best people are crazy *g* (well, unless they're like, scary crasy, in which case they're...scary).

[cheeky-duckie.livejournal.com]

THE INCENSE IS GETTING IN MY EYES.

Oh my god, really? Wow, just... move the incense. I mean, you'll still smell it if it's on the other side of the room. *shakes fists*

[hesper-m.livejournal.com]

I am using THE INCENSE IS GETTING IN MY EYES as an all-purpose excuse from now on. No, I can't make dinner: THE INCENSE IS GETTING IN MY EYES. You want me to do WHAT with you: THE INCENSE IS GETTING IN MY EYES. How can I possibly pay taxes when THE INCENSE IS GETTING IN MY EYES?

[zombiexbunny.livejournal.com]

OMG YES

[surcia.livejournal.com]

I have pretty sensitive eyes, so for me, even if I have incense on the other side of the room, it still stings. So I don't burn incense. If she absoultely must have everything smell nice, she could just get scented candles. Then again, I don't suppose I should expect fancy right-brained author types whose subconscious isn't separated from their conscious mind to have logical problem-solving skills.