lkh_lashouts | I Got the Green-With-Envy Blues!

You're viewing

lkh_lashouts
Create a Dreamwidth Account Learn More

Reload page in style: site light

I got to thinking about this after reading as much as I could stomach of the Blood ~~Puke~~ Noir teaser and that totally non sequitor line that goes from Nathaniel short-shorts, Anita's modesty, and jealous haters. It seems like the new major meme seems that not only are critical readers prudes but they have a touch o' the green eyed monster.

What exactly, pray tell, are we supposed to be jealous of? I know the only thing I really envy her is her impressive ability to instantly translate everything into strawman!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

gehayi.livejournal.com

Basing this on the observed behavior of Suethors over the years, I'd say that LKH believes the following:

1) Her critics are envious of her skill.

Every Suethor born thinks that she has outstanding skill at writing, and the worse the Suethor is at writing, the more convinced she is that she is an undiscovered genius.

2) Her critics are envious of her success.

Suethors all say this, too, regardless of how unsuccessful the Suethor or how successful the critic is. By the Suethor's definition, the critic cannot truly be successful, because the critic is dissing the most important person in the universe, and that is against all the laws of God and man.

3) Her critics are jealous of the fictional characters' love lives/sex lives.

Suethors do not differentiate between their Mary Sues and Gary Stus and themselves. Since the Sues and Stus come in for a great deal of criticism for unbelievable behavior, and since the characters spend a lot of time romancin' and sexin', it follows, in the mind of a Suethor, that the reason the critics dislike the characters is because the characters are loved and having outstanding sex. The critics, clearly, cannot be loved by anyone, and no one in their right mind would dream of having sex with such odious creatures.

4) Her critics are jealous of the fictional characters' virtues.

Since critics are, by definition, odious, it follows that they have no courage, mercy, justice, kindness, compassion, strength, honor, truthfulness, etc. Since the characters are authorial avatars, the Suethor presumes that her characters have all the virtues known to mankind in spades. Clearly, those who despise such characters MUST recognize their own lack of virtue and envy its possessors, rather the way that demons are said to envy angels.

5) Her critics are jealous of her family/friends/spouse/etc.

Suethors invariably feel that their lives are envied by all and sundry, even when their lives are tragic, or even dull. They cannot conceive of anyone being happy with a life unlike their own, as to a Suethor, this would not make sense.

6) Her critics are jealous of her depth.

Suethors tend to be shallow bints...but they all claim to be sensitive souls, vastly moved by the ongoing tragedy of life. Everything touches them, because they are artistes, and artistes are SUPPOSED to be sensitive, don't you know.

Obviously, their critics cannot be emotionally deep or, perish the thought, sensitive, because look at all the horrible evil insensitive things that they say to the Suethor! Er...I mean, to the artiste.

Edited Date: 2008-03-05 05:09 am (UTC)