LKH, Gamer Girl

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

LKH wrote something today about Gary Gygax's death and what D & D had meant to her. Okay, I game. I have no problem with this. But she got some choice lines in there, which I had to comment on. Laurell's in bold, I'm in plain.

I was having one of those days yesterday where you question why you aren't out there researching a cure for cancer, solving real murders, or trying to find a solution for the middle eastern violence.

I can only say that I hope she's joking. I mean, I know why I'm not out there doing these things. I'm not trained in science, microbiology, radiology or medicine; I'm not a cop or a private investigator, and, aside from not being an expert on any country in the area, I'm neither a politician nor a diplomat. Oh, and LKH...it's "Middle Eastern violence." Proper nouns need to be capitalized, remember.

Then I heard about Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons and Dragons, dieing at the age of 69.

That's "dying." I suppose I should be glad that you didn't spell it "dyeing."

First, I was surprised that he was close to 70, that seemed wrong, somehow, that the ultimate gamer had grown old.

So he got older. That's better than not getting older and staying the same age, isn't it? There's only one way to do that without lying, and that's dying.

Then she starts talking about D & D. Okay, playing D & D was important to me too. But she has to make gaming holy:

It was damn near a conversion experience, I don't mean religion, but that moment that you find something that just fills up a piece of you that was empty before.

Okay, I could get that, though I think she's being hyperbolic, but then she goes on...

There is certainly a God, or Goddess, shaped hole in each of us. (All you atheists out there just puzzle me, so sorry.)

Well, speaking as an agnostic, let me just say that I don't feel any God- or Goddess-shaped hole in me at all. People have been trying to tell me since I was twelve that everyone feels a need for [fill-in-the-blank-Deity/religion/spiritual belief of choice]. At this point, I'm quite sick of having such people tell me that my lack of religious experience or need is invalid simply because it doesn't conform to their theory. And yes, Laurell, this does include you.

SNIP! as she then talks about gaming, making friends and having a place to belong. She doesn't seem to realize that D & D is a sign of geek cred, rather than edginess--but no matter, I can relate. But then she gets started on books vs. gaming.

...we adventured together to the kind of places we could only read about in books.

I'm with her so far.

The reading was great, and most of the gamers I knew were voracious readers,

Agreed and agreed.

but reading is a solitary act,

*puzzled* Isn't this like saying that water is wet?

and D & D let us do out loud in a group what was usually private and alone.

I'm pretty sure that I never had to make a saving throw after the villain attacked in a book. Or had to roll up a character sheet, either.

D & D is the bookworm's triathlon.

I...you know, I can't even translate that into English.

My first book NIGHTSEER, grew out of a campaign I Dungeon Mastered (I know it's Game Master now, but I'm old school and it will always be DM, to me). Alright the book grew out of my frustration with my gaming group. They just wouldn't cooperate in this great world I'd created for them.

LKH: Darn those gamers and their free will! How dare they not do what I want them to do!

I looked up the book Nightseer and found a review of it. Basically, it's about Keleios, who is...*takes a deep breath*...an herb witch-journeyman sorcerer-enchantress-halfelven princess who is a trained fighter and a survivor of demonic torture. She's only twenty-one, but she's lived a very full life. Oh, and there's a dark sorcerer who wants to screw her, and some nominal relatives of hers who want to kill her. I don't blame them. I'd like to kill Princess Sparklypoo myself.

Finally one of the guys said, "Fine, then go write it as a book, and stop trying to use it as a campaign."

I wish I knew this guy's name. Obviously we can blame him for LKH's entire career.

My grandmother hated that I played. She didn't think it was a suitable occupation for a girl.

Granny would have much preferred that LKH do something useful, like solving real murders or finding a solution to the problems in the Mideast.

Years later when my first book came out and it was magic, elves, and dragons, she apologized to me. "How was I supposed to know it would be so important to you?"

Laurell? "Well, how was I supposed to know...?" is not an apology. It's a justification for previous behavior.

The apology was nice to hear, and if you knew my grandmother, you'd value it for the truly rare moment it was.

Yeah, I'd say that a nonexistent apology counts as rare, all right.

I went to a Christian college, because it was the only one close enough to home for me to commute. But on the campus you didn't dare confess to reading fantasy or science fiction and playing D & D was considered Satanic worship. No, really, no joke, I had that said to my face.

So did I, and I went to Catholic schools from seventh grade on. What's your point? That you didn't have the guts to contradict people when they criticized/attacked something you loved?

So all of us that gamed kept it pretty quiet, just safer that way.

Why? Were the teachers of Marion going to burn the sci-fi fans and the gamers at the stake if they dared to contradict the ignorant?

At least this explains why LKH thinks that she's so darkity dark and edgy, though. She evidently heard so often at her evangelical college that she was dark and Satanic that now she believes it.

My first husband and I fell in love partially because we both played. I still remember the day we admitted to each other that we were both "evil" and played D & D.

I swoon from the sheer horror.

SNIP!

Do I game now? No. I've tried, but whatever part of the mind is used and happy during gaming, is the same part that writes for me.

Gee, it must be nice to have a part of your mind that writes for you--sort of like having a brownie who does your housework.

SNIP!

Jon and I tried to game together, but I've grown too cautious. I'm the person who carries that extra twenty feet of rope, and a host of poles, so I can tie it all together and poke at things.

Or have the poles poke Anita Merry you all of the above.

My longest living character, Sidon the Cautious, well, I chose the Sidon part, but my high school gaming group chose the latter.

A) That's "longest-lived."
B) Wait, didn't she just say that she'd GROWN too cautious? And now she's saying that she was cautious even back in high school when she started playing? Is anyone else seeing a discrepancy here?
C) Her longest living character, Sidon the Cautious...what? Is there a predicate in there? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

SNIP!

So on the day when I was wondering if what I did for a living actually mattered, I was reminded how much what Gary Gygax created meant to me.

Of course, whether D & D means something to her does not necessarily mean that her writing matters. Or, in fact, that the two have anything to do with each other.

Is it an exaggeration to say that I found my career, my first love, and good friends through D & D? Maybe, but if it's not absolutely true, then it's close, so thank you Gary Gygax.

Close to true? So basically...NOT true?

Comments

[dwg.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I brought that up in my journal and it's been irking me ever since. Not just the typos, but how it all focuses All About Laurell rather than talking about Gary Gygax and his contribution to the world. I'm not a huge gamer (mostly online, tabletop confuses me - TRUFAX), but it would have seemed nice if she'd told us more about what he did and how that influenced her life rather than going on and on about her D&D days.

Not to mention, that anecdote about Nightseer being based on a campaign that nobody would "cooperate" with just makes me headdesk. I've GMed enough online games to know that you spend most of your time looking after the players and making sure they're having fun. If they're not cooperating, then it's not entirely their fault, you know?

I will never get tired of seeing "dieing" turn up in things. Never. *twitch*

[librarista.livejournal.com]

All the responses to Gygax's death I've read have been personal reflections on what gaming meant and means to people. That's no surprise here. The surprise is the utter horror that is LKH that shouldn't surprise me any more. It must be my Goddess-shaped hole keeping me from accepting the glory of LKH.

[coolbyrne.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but the "dieing" typo is the best ever, considering, you know, how much rolling is involved in D&D. Thanks, LKH, for the best unintentional laugh you've ever given me. (And considering how much hilarious shite you've written, that's saying something.)

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

They should just be thankful her books started out decent! Imagine what they might have said if her first books resembled her later ones.

Interesting that she doesn't bring up her second and third books:

Nightshade (http://www.amazon.com/Nightshade-Star-Trek-Next-Generation/dp/067179566X) (1992) (Star Trek: The Next Generation authorized novel #24)

Death of a Darklord (http://www.amazon.com/Darklord-Ravenloft-Covenant-Laurell-Hamilton/dp/0786941227/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204867216&sr=1-1) (1995) (TSR's Ravenloft series.)

Nightshade sounds like an average Star Trek novel, but Death of a Darklord...well, listen to this and tell me this doesn't sound familiar:

Death of a Darklord focuses on a young woman [Elaine] who finds that she has a talent for magic in a land and a family unforgiving of such abilities, and her tragic attempts to redeem herself in the eyes of her family by aiding them on their quest to end the dark magic that has destroyed a neighboring town.

Young female protagonist...check.
Talent for magic/supernatural abilities...check.
Family/society not understanding appreciating her and her abilities...check.
Tragedy and ANGST...check.
Battle with the forces of evil...check.

Basically, Elaine is Keleios is Merry is Anita.

Oh, and you have to see the reviews on Death of a Darklord, because those are funny.

[easol.livejournal.com]

"not able to comprehend that some people can function in the world without imaginary support telling them they're speshul."

I don't think that that is a tolerant or fair thing to say.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I hereafter nominate that we always call Merry "Princess Sparklypoo."

In other news, it's unintentionally hilarious that she considers herself dark, edgy and devilish because she went to an evangelical school (by the standards of some evangelicals -- and some Amish -- that I've met, I'm a dangerous hussy with Satanic tastes in movies, music and books. Color me unimpressed)

She must have gone to a VERY, VERY tightassed school.... where her speshul liberality could shine through. Or else... one crazy fanatical student called her the devil's whore for playing D&D, everyone pointed and laughed, and this was another opportunity for her to play the victim card.

And they admitted to each other that they were both "evil"? I would like to ask Gary if she said it with a straight face, while he laughed...

And I think it's a sign of how her fantasy overlaps with reality that she feels a need to be cautious in D&D. Ye gods! Despite its complexity, it's a fricking GAME -- that's like saying you're too cautious to play Monopoly. Loosen up! Have fun!

[notadoor.livejournal.com]

To be fair to LKH, I understand that D&D = Satanism was a widely held belief in America, oh, 20-30 years ago.

David Barr Kirtley mentions something similar here:
http://davekirtley.livejournal.com/132458.html

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Overcautious in D&D? Her inability to kill characters is showing.

Also, frankly, her inability to separate that IC/OOC line, and honestly, she's sounding like a really half-assed DM, in that she's got a script written out for the players...

Not surprising. (Aside, I played for 25+ years, also personalized what I had to say about Gygax's passing, but that was just to show how much what he made meant to me.)

-Dira-

[pith]

Modly: Please edit in the link to the blog entry.

http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/03/gary-gygax.html

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (All I had was http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/.)

[christraven.livejournal.com]

Dear LKH,

Gary Gygax created something that millions of people enjoy, and still do to this day. He created something that allowed imaginations to flourish, worlds to grow, and decades of fun to be enjoyed. At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, he created an entire paradigm of entertainment.

All you do is recycle the same tired storyline interspersed with un-arousing, un-amusing, unreadable pornography, whose characters are far more one-dimensional than even the most basic beginner's first PC.

Gary Gygax showed what true genius looked like. Look at his works and weep, and know that nothing you create will have as much of an impact on the world as he did, no matter how much namedropping you do; no matter how many fluids your supposed "heroine" gushes; no matter how many pantheons and mythologies you butcher in the name of 'The Edgy'; no matter how many plotless, tree-killing, brain-eating wastes of time you squat out; no matter how many skinny, androgynous, long-haired, doe-eyed, foppish, emotionally damaged, borderline children you want to bang, you will never deserve the same level of respect that he did.

And to answer your question... no, what you do makes no difference in the world. Well, except perhaps it does in one way: at least we can rest assured that you give a lot of lost and hungry commas a home.


Your Gran'ma was right the first time,


Christraven

[easol.livejournal.com]

Nooooo, it's the malign influence of the One Ring!

[cherith.livejournal.com]

When I read Nightseer last year (http://cherith.livejournal.com/440689.html#cutid3), I actually wrote: "LKH's first novel couldn't read anymore like a D&D novel if she tried".

Knowing now that I was spot on, just makes me even sadder about her than I was when I finished the book.

[saadiira.livejournal.com]

Actually, there is nothing wrong with some D&D novels. Some of them are quite good, really. (Those by Gygax himself, in fact, were quite excellent).

Sadly, Nightseer was not, though having read it, I was very aware that LKH had been gaming.

[vmisery.livejournal.com]

My first book NIGHTSEER...grew out of my frustration with my gaming group. They just wouldn't cooperate in this great world I'd created for them.


So she was that (http://llbbl.com/data/RPG-motivational/target144.html) GM. With a little of this (http://wiki.rpg.net/images/c/c7/MPost23-149476169_5d40f30f06.jpg) thrown in, I'm sure. Gah. (and yes, images are worksafe.)

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha! Excellent!

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

There is certainly a God, or Goddess, shaped hole in each of us. (All you atheists out there just puzzle me, so sorry.)

Many things puzzle you, Laurel. This is because you're not very bright. Allow me to try and explain: many grownups actually don't feel that they need to have an imaginary friend to get them through the day. I realise that this is hard for you to relate to, since for you, God was not enough - you had to go and create a few dozen additional imaginary friends to get by.

So on the day when I was wondering if what I did for a living actually mattered, I was reminded how much what Gary Gygax created meant to me.

Oh, for the love of the God I don't believe in! Why does it always boil down to this for you? A guy died! It's good to pause for a moment and think of what he meant for you, and you were doing a half-decent job of it, but why, oh why, does everything always have to end up with some kind of validation of your own life? Can't you praise someone else without ending up praising yourself? Can't you muster some humility and treat something as not being about you?

...

Not being about you? You know? Because not everything is? Because the entire universe does not revolve around your angst? Because...

... oh, never mind. This is another notion that'd just "puzzle" you, isn't it?

[fadeinthewash.livejournal.com]

I went to a Christian college, because it was the only one close enough to home for me to commute. But on the campus you didn't dare confess to reading fantasy or science fiction and playing D & D was considered Satanic worship. No, really, no joke, I had that said to my face.

This kind of explains a lot about her. Now, I don't know what her excuse is for not enlightening herself in the 25 years she's had since this time, but there it is.

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

Well, speaking as an agnostic, let me just say that I don't feel any God- or Goddess-shaped hole in me at all.

God, I can't believe you don't believe you have a Diety shaped hole in your body. Laurell says it, so it MUST be true. HOw dary you argue with her?!

Actually, upon further reflection, that's actually kind of gross sounding. THANK YOU, LKH, FOR THE HORRIBLE MENTAL IMAGE.

[vmisery.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, too. Ech.

[artemis-rex.livejournal.com]

Forget the existance or non-existance of a higher power. The thing that bothers me about that statement is the lack of a needed hypen.

[estllechauvelin.livejournal.com]

and D & D let us do out loud in a group what was usually private and alone.

You know, I didn't spend that much time with RPGs before I decided that I was happier with miniatures gaming, but in my experience there's a pretty significant difference between RPGs (for the player, not the GM) and writing/reading, besides the ones already mentioned: in a book, writing or reading one, the idea is not necessarily for the main character (considered for the purposes of this comparison to be the equivalent of the player's character) to succeed. True, a gamer who is really interrested in the role-play aspect will likely at one time or another do something because it's the only logical thing for the character to do, even while knowing that it is probably not the smartest thing to do. However, in general the idea is to make calculated risks in order to accomplish whatever your character is after, because you're only really affiliated with the one character. There isn't the "some drama like this would make things more interesting here" option of making things unpleasant simply for the sake of the story, at least unless you're the GM, while although the main character or characters might be more easy for the author to identify with, s/he has some investment in the world overall. Playing is being the brain of the character, writing is being the god of the character. And sometimes that god inflicts the book of Job even on his/her favorites.

On the other hand, we know that nobody significant in Anita Blake will ever die, which might be indicative of a desire for the "player character" to succeed which is more appropriate for a playing an RPG. Maybe it is a campaign that's desperately in need of some dice, just on the chance that somebody will get a one and there will be actual repercussions.

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

Incidently, that quote, out of context reminds me of thebooks and not in a good way. Because Merry and Anita? Tend to do things in groups that usually done in private and alone.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

All you atheists out there just puzzle me, so sorry.

People like this drive me crazy. I've heard it used so often as an excuse to be intolerant and bigoted toward atheists-- I mean, they're just so aberrant, what do they worship then, Darwin?-- and the idea that a writer won't even pretend to understand the mindset of a fairly large sector of the population makes me squirm. Sure, I don't know what it's like to be religious, but that doesn't mean religious people puzzle me.

Isn't the point of coming up with a solid, varied cast being able to understand different perspectives?

Oh right. That's why everyone in the book is pretty much the same, except someone might have a shorter temper or something.

[entropyastaroth.livejournal.com]

No, no, we atheist worship Richard Dawkins these days. A guy on internet told me, so it must be true.

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

Why am I not shocked that LKH tried to railroad her gaming group? She would be the type who completely ignored the interactive aspect of gaming in favor of the "walk through plot" model. Having been stuck with GMs like that, I can't blame them for saying "Go write a book."

[entropyastaroth.livejournal.com]

I wondered in the past what kind of DM LKH was. I think I got the answer now.

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

D & D is the bookworm's triathlon.

~cough~ Not exactly, sorry. Out of the group of 8 people I know that play D&D, only two of them read like crazy, my mom's married to one (the GM) and I'm dating the other. So yeah, you don't need to be a bookworm to do D&D, the rest are just game geeks.

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but I have to agree at least in the South, gaming especially D&D is connected to Satanism, and in certain crowds you just don't mention it. In fact, my husband and I stopped attending a church because a youth minister in the youth group he worked with actually equated D&D with the occult.

Plus, for those that are familiar with the World of Darkness, there have been books about psycho vampire believing folks and that has been less than 10 years ago.

LKH's attitude is legitimate.

Plus, while her spelling sucks and she should use spell check, I see nothing wrong with her talking about what Gygax meant to her rather than some the God of Gaming is dead post.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Sorry, but I have to agree at least in the South, gaming especially D&D is connected to Satanism, and in certain crowds you just don't mention it.

Sorry, but I have to disagree. If people are convinced that gaming is evil and Satanic, then obviously they're not going to come to the conclusion that it's not on their own. They have to be told--and shown--otherwise.

I had this trouble in college. I remember having to explain gaming to a nun. Sister Mary Patrick was quite convinced that gaming was evil, and only agreed to listen to me with a great deal of trepidation. (I'd include the conversation, but it would probably be tl;dr.)

Plus, for those that are familiar with the World of Darkness, there have been books about psycho vampire believing folks and that has been less than 10 years ago.

Are you talking about the vampire sub-culture (which I don't get), or the vampire murders in Florida in 1996?

Plus, while her spelling sucks and she should use spell check, I see nothing wrong with her talking about what Gygax meant to her rather than some the God of Gaming is dead post.

I don't have any problem with her talking about what gaming means to her, either. Most posts in the aftermath of Gygax's death discussed what gaming had meant to the writers. I think what irked me were her comments about feeling that she should be out there solving real murders, and how dark and edgy she was for gaming, and how WRONG WRONG WRONG her grandmother and her gaming group were about everything. Oh, and the Goddess-shaped hole. Can't forget the Goddess-shaped hole.

[surcia.livejournal.com]

Regarding 'Satanism', two of the members of my D&D group are Catholics. They have no problems with it. But that's just my personal experience and I do believe that some people could be stupid enough to think that.

That being said, the biggest thing that bugged me about that blog post was that thing about how she wrote a book because the players wouldn't cooperate. Speaking as a DM for a group where I encourage the players to break my game and come up with creative ways of doing stuff, I honestly found that offensive. She goes on about how D&D is a group activity, and then talks about how upset she was when the players treated it as such and didn't just go along with her gaming masturbation? That's just hypocritical. In my opinion, the players are the more important part of the game. The DM may be necessary, but he serves the players, not the other way around.