LKH Attacks Stephen King

[harlette.livejournal.com]

Well. This is my first flog. It's not really a flog since I'm not particularly funny. I incite riots, not laughter. So sorry if it bores you.

A few urls for all of you.

URL:http://blog.laurellkhamilton.org/2008/05/stephen-king-puts-foot-in-mouth.html
Link to Stephen King's TV appearance
Link to Stephen King's response to others who have criticized his remark



LKH needs to learn what phrases such as "putting your foot in your mouth" means before she uses them. Stephen King didn't have to do that at all. In fact, he kept his stance throughout.

In Imaginaryville, Population: LKH, I'm sure he's groveling for upsetting the diety and has his foot so far in his mouth that he's biting his knee.

The blog begins with a Stephen King quote that the supposed technophobic c&p'd directly from that website.

"I don't want to sound like an ad, a public service ad on TV, but the fact is if you can read, you can walk into a job later on. If you don't, then you've got, the Army, Iraq, I don't know, something like that. It's, it's not as bright. So, that's my little commercial for that." -Steven King

Stephen*, LKH. I hate it when people spell my name with a "k", according to Darla, you obviously hate it when people say "Anita Black" instead of "Anita Blake." So why spell his name wrong if names being wrong is obviously a pet peeve of yours. AND IT'S NOT LIKE HIS NAME ISN'T RIGHT THERE IN THE ARTICLE.

When I first heard the unfortunate statement that Stephen King made on Book TV on CSPAN 2, I was angry. I felt that I had to defend the honor of our nation's military, but you know what? I don't have to defend their honor because they do a damn good job of defending themselves.

I think she gets angry just for the sake of being angry. I'm an Aries, so I'm all for the anger if it's logical. The other day she got mad at Jon for offering to drive home. She gets mad at Trinity for breathing. She was mad at those girls for leaving behind the leaf the dolphin fetched from the pool.

I R TEH LKH.

HEAR
ME
RAWR.

The sad part about this is that Darla was just campaigning that everyone is allowed to have their opinion on the LKH forum, and now LKH is pretty much saying that Stephen King isn't allowed to feel the way he feels.

OHHH. I forgot all about that one tiny clause in the agreement. You can have your own opinion but it must not differ from our diety THE LKH.

First off, the friend that brought the statement to my attention, Charles, is ex-army. He really enjoys reading. He's one of the few people, outside my writing group, that knows more esoteric quotes than we do. In fact, when he was stationed in Iraq in a forward area, he joked that he couldn't get away from me. Why? Because, of the four books available, two of them were mine. When he got back to St. Louis and ended up being assigned to be my security, he told me the story. I loved the idea of my books, set here in the Midwest being out in the sand box for our soldiers to read.

Please. Shut the fuck up. No one gives a fuck about Charles or what he thinks or how he feels or how he felt or how he looks or how well he drives or how he stroked your precious ego until it purred like how you imagine your Foose will when you learn how to drive it properly.

Besides, if there were only four books available, they were pretty much forced to read your drivel.

Anyway, she goes on and on and on, somehow trying to make a point about how Stephen King is wrong when we hit this:
Maybe Mr. King never had the pleasure of being friends with anyone in the military. I have both very good friends, and family that are ex-military. My father-in-law, Art, is one of the most intelligent men I've met. He has a master's degree in Theology; forgive me Art for not remembering the exact degree. He retired as a Major from the Air Guard.

How very assumptive of LKH. Not for the Stephen King remark, but for believing that someone having a degree automatically makes them smart. Let us not forget that LKH double majored in English and Biology. To be quite honest, I don't think LKH is smart at all. I actually believe she's pretty slow, to put it lightly.

Not to mention that one Psych 101 course would tell you that intelligence isn't measured on IQ alone. I could break out the different intelligence theories, but I have a point to make and it'd take too long.

He's a policeman now, but he was a marine, though I'm not sure past tense actually applies to marines. You never really get it out of your system.

Yes, LKH. You would know... since you're a marine and all. You'd know how every now and then you revert back to the days that you were a marine. Out in the trenches. And repeating those smooth limericks. "This is my rifle, this is my gun" and "G.I. Beans and G.I. gravy, gee I wish I joined the navy" are both so second nature to you.

Once a marine, always a marine. That's the saying LKH. You should know it since you're so in tune to your troops.

Okay, here's my dilemma, everyone. It's not that she didn't understand that Stephen King meant that without a proper education, your chances of getting a job other than the army or Burger King are slimmer than the short-story-passed-off-as-a-novel Micah. He didn't once say that everyone in the army was uneducated, so her whole blog was useless, one-sided, maniacal bullshit that I expect to hear from... well, no one really.

It's her inability to have foresight, empathize, comprehend, or convey emotions properly. I could go on and on, but I think most of this flog is the tequila talking.

Sorry for the long post, chicas.

Comments

[lilacwire.livejournal.com]

Heh, don't say you're not funny. I giggled all the way through that.

[harlette.livejournal.com]

Thank you. XD My sense of humor is just a little... off target. Everything makes me chuckle, so I have no clue what things are actually funny and what's not.

[kessie.livejournal.com]

I wish LKH wouldn't attack other writers. It smacks of unprofessionalism. :/ Or at least she could remain neutral or calm about things, like Neil Gaiman and other writers.

[harlette.livejournal.com]

I wish it too.

[sharkbytes.livejournal.com]

Ah, dwg brought this to my attention earlier, and I had to laugh because of course LKH had the typical knee-jerk reaction. Obviously I can't speak for Stephen King, but I think he was implying that reading brings you more options in life. I doubt it was an indictment of the armed forces. Even if it was, why did LKH feel the need to blog about it?

Btw, this post made me realize that I should order some really good books to send to our troops. They deserve a lot better than LKH, lol.

[harlette.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I just have no clue how I would even go about donating books to troops, though. I have a plethora I don't need and was thinking about giving to the library. But if they are seriously stuck with LKH, I rather give them to the troops.

[drho.livejournal.com]

Perhaps she wants to gain media attention by picking a fight with Stephen King.

[a-proclivity.livejournal.com]

Oh, I would love to see Stephen King pwn her ass. It would be amazing. But I'd hate the attention she'd get to promote her latest pile of shit book.

[ayako.livejournal.com]

WTF? She spelled his name both ways in one blog. I mean, that's just batshit.

I've lost track of the number of military men and women, who have said that reading my books helps them forget where they are, what they're doing, and how far from home they are. That I help them escape, for a little while. What higher praise is there, than that?

-_- The speed at which LKH turns something around to make it all about her is astounding...and sneaky too. Every blog is an opportunity to tell you that LKH knows better than you and LKH wins at life.

[harlette.livejournal.com]

I totally missed that. It really does sneak up on you.

Everything she touches turns to gold. She's Midas, I tell you. She's the Mary Sue of real life!

[christraven.livejournal.com]

He's one of the few people, outside my writing group, that knows more esoteric quotes than we do.
Is that really saying much? Honestly? And is that the magisterial 'we' in that sentence? Does Laurita think she's royalty, or is she trying to include Jonboi in this little farcical proof-of-intellect that she's attempting to display?

Because, of the four books available, two of them were mine.
Oh, great. Now the conspiracy theorist in me is thinking that the Dubya Guvvunmint is trying to keep our soldiers brain dead by forcing them to read her pablum.

My father-in-law, Art, is one of the most intelligent men I've met.
Again, not neccessarily a ringing endorsement, LKH my dear.

"G.I. Beans and G.I. gravy, gee I wish I joined the navy"
LOL! I'd forgotten that one...

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

"G.I. Beans and G.I. gravy, gee I wish I joined the navy"

I have to admit to never hearing this one, and dad always likes to quote his pithy Marine quotes. "Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet" is always a favourite. :D

LKH's Reading Comprehension = Zero

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

What got me was how completely wrong LKH was.

King wasn't talking about the military being poorly read. He was talking to a bunch of high school students. And...well, it's not generally the kids who are getting full scholarships to a university who join the military. It's not even the kids who have pretty good grades and who have tuition-paying parents or student loans. Except for the boys and the occasional girl entering a service academy like West Point, Annapolis or the Citadel, most of the kids entering the armed forces after high school graduation are the poor, the minorities and/or the non-academically minded. These are the kids who haven't got the grades or the money, and who are hoping that the Army/Navy/Marines/Air Force will give them, after X many years of service, the education or training they need.

Were the kids who were listening shocked? No. High school students are given the advice to read more on a regular basis, and Army recruiters certainly come to schools. King warning kids to read and study more so that they'll have more options and don't have to join the armed forces and risk getting sent overseas to fight in a seemingly endless foreign war—well, that's pretty much what I'd expect of a guy who came of age during the Vietnam era.

In fact, the kids applauded King's sentiment, and went on to the next question with no fuss at all.

But was this good enough for La Laurelle? Nope. She says she doesn't have to defend the honor of America's military, then proceeds to—what else?--defend the honor of America's military.

Which King didn't impugn in the first place.

***

Other LKH quotes that were SPESHUL:

He's one of the few people, outside my writing group, that knows more esoteric quotes than we do.

Presumably, therefore, these esoteric (http://www.answers.com/topic/esoteric) quotes known only to Charles and her writing group are quotes intended for or understood by only a particular group, quotes of or relating to that which is known by a restricted number of people, quotes confined to a small group, or quotes not publicly disclosed.

There is a thing called a dictionary, LKH. And another called a thesaurus. Please to be figuring out how to use them.

When he got back to St. Louis and ended up being assigned to be my security, he told me the story. I loved the idea of my books, set here in the Midwest being out in the sand box for our soldiers to read.

THE SAND BOX? I'm sorry, did she just call Iraq a sand-filled place for children to play in? *fumes*

Maybe Mr. King never had the pleasure of being friends with anyone in the military. I have both very good friends , and family that are ex-military.

Uh, excuse me, Laurell...but if all the friends and family you mention are EX-military, doesn't that mean that you're not actually friends with anyone IN the military?

My father-in-law, Art, is one of the most intelligent men I've met.

My apologies to Art...but honestly, Laurell, that's not saying very much.

Shawn, who has been my friend for eighteen, or is it nineteen years now, is one of the people that I call for advice. He's well-read , and thoughtful, though he might deny it. He's a policeman now, but he was a marine, though I'm not sure past tense actually applies to marines.

If he's been your friend for eighteen to nineteen years, shouldn't you know that you capitalize the word "Marine"? Unless you're seriously claiming that Shawn is "of or relating to the sea." Tell me, do his fellow cops know that Shawn is a merman?

You never really get it out of your system.

Nope. Once you're a merman, you're one for eternity.

And then she makes the most outrageous claim of all:

They have been generous with their time, their experiences, and helped add a level of reality to my fantastic fiction, that wouldn't have been possible without their input. Thanks again, guys.

Reality? She thinks that reality exists in her books?

Oh, Laurell. You so crazy.

[moonsinger.livejournal.com]

While I can agree with her about King sticking his foot in it, I think her implementation was bad. I don't think he really meant to insult the men fighting in Iraq although he certainly did. I think being PC all the time is utter crap, and if I were going to go after a cultural icon like Stephen (see I have the ph) King, I'd at least have the decency to spell his name right. I might also check and see if it was a simple foot in mouth problem or if he really is liberal in his viewpoints. In other words, I don't know, research what was said. Because let's face it if King bothers to read her blog and write a rebuttal, he will more than likely tear her up one side and down the other and not in that Micah hitting the spot way that she so likes to describe in her novels.

But other than misspelling King's name and the oh, all the troops like my books because my military friend had two of my books in Iraq thing, I can't really criticize her.

Still until I get to be as big a hit as someone like King, I wouldn't go after him especially if I'm LKH. I guess she really doesn't realize what an easy mark she really is.

I haven't read a King book in a while, but I'm willing to bet since no one has talked about his latest stuff sucking and it is still on the NY Times Best seller's list still that I wouldn't have much work to do with a red pen and one of his books. I can't say the same for LKH's books since Narcissus in Chains. She should probably pick a writer who is worse than she is to pick on like, I don't know Talia Gryphon.

[gwynethfar.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly certain Stephen King was giving a quote he didn't think all the way through, with no thought to how people might perceive it.

But it's good to know that St. Laurnita, Patron of the Armed Forces, is a bigger supporter of our armed forces than anyone this side of Toby Keith, all because she sends her promo material to them.

[amyheartssiroc.livejournal.com]

Well, King did put his foot in his mouth, even if he didn't mean to. And I can understand the attitude that among writers, it would be rude for her to write up a blog post criticizing his writing, but I don't think any kind of writer camaraderie should mean that people who say stupid things can't get called out for it.

[harlette.livejournal.com]

I disagree with you on two things.

The first being that Stephen King didn't say anything stupid. He told the truth. The second being that Stephen King did not put his foot in his mouth. When you're putting your foot in your mouth, you've pretty much said something that you regret saying. Stephen King doesn't regret saying it. In fact, he stands by it.

I'm not trying to be rude. I'd honestly like to know why you believe what King said was stupid and why you believe he put his foot in his mouth.

[dominanefret.livejournal.com]

I actually agree with King completely - whichever way you choose to interpret the quote.
But that isn't the point of this post.

Assuming King has never been friends with anyone in, or formerly in the military is absolutely absurd. How many people, especially people of Kings generation, HAVEN'T been friends with someone in the military at some point in their lives? I think that if one were to make an assumption one way or another, it would be safer to assume that he has had friends in the military than has not. Knowing people in the military does not prohibit a person from having issues with the military.

And has been said multiple times, more than likely King wasn't intending to make any negative implications about the military.

[crimsonpacific.livejournal.com]

Actually, in his book 'On Writing' it mentions that when he was younger he was seriously considering joining the military so as to gain life experience (or something to that effect, I haven't read the book in a few years).

So despite LKH's flames, I don't think he'd jump to diss a choice he once considered for himself.

[judaistic.livejournal.com]

She's just hating because King gets more publicity because he's just so much better than she can ever hope to be.

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

~nods~ While not all of his books are great, most are, and his worst one is way better then hers.

[knowthyself.livejournal.com]

I think it boils down....

Stephen King vs. Laurell K. Hamilton

And most of the world says, who's this Hamilton chick?

Stephen King FTW!!!

[moonbeamdancer.livejournal.com]

Damn right! And if you're going to quote someone, please get their name right...

[thetathx1138.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the misinterpretation of King's remark was intentional or not.

Either way, I suppose King will just have to take what little solace he can in his millions of dollars and burgeoning critical respect.

[sevariusjr.livejournal.com]

I came into this thread thinking, "What? LKH criticizing King? Man, he's lost a step (quite a few, actually), but she only wishes she was half the writer he used to be."

And then I read his actual words, and hers, and I have to agree with.....LKH.

Pardon me if show some political bias here, but the idea that our military is for those too dull of mind to get a worthwhile job, is just pure crap.

(I'm tempted to say "just liberal horseshit" but won't.)

In today's modern age, you need intelligent men and women serving in any modern military, and the U.S. military is no exception. We just don't take any idiot who can hold a gun and shoot straight.

The only fault I find with her remarks is that she makes sure to get in a plug that her books were available to the military......which shames me, because I do imagine we can provide them with more entertaining literature.

[bludflower.livejournal.com]

"Pardon me if show some political bias here, but the idea that our military is for those too dull of mind to get a worthwhile job, is just pure crap."

If that was what he was getting at, I'd agree, but I think what he was getting at was a lack of education, rather than a lack of intelligence. I know quite a few people who are sharp witted and full of common sense, yet uneducated and not big on reading.

[daphne-gateau.livejournal.com]

Hey y'all. Don't hate. Obviously Laurell feels strongly about expanding career options for those young people who can barely read by letting them edit her books. So more power to her.

Seriously, I wonder if she's ever visited a literacy program in her city, or volunteered time for a panel at a high school. If Laurell has something better to say to high school students about the importance of education and literacy then she should go right ahead. We're all listening. No one is stopping her from volunteering her time as other authors do.

King is speaking the truth. Unpleasant? Sure, but there it is. He didn't insult the military or even people who unfortunately can barely read. That was tough love.

[alondra-del-sol.livejournal.com]

It doesn't seem that insulting to me which maybe I'm biased because I think going into the armed forces is insanity as I'm an academic for sure, but 5000 points King and -2 million points LKH.

[astronauta.livejournal.com]

Thanks to Darla, who first brought it to my attention, we've been sending books to our military men and women for years. We've actually sent to all branches at this point. Libraries on ships; deserts; bases in Europe; anywhere that someone wrote in and asked. But, not just my books, as much as I'd love to think that I'm every one's cup of tea, I'm not, and also you can't reread just one series forever. Everyone wants a change, so we send other books, as well. The solider that we just sent a box out to, requested action/adventure, and mysteries. Mine qualify, but we also sent him others. A book can be a very good friend when you're far from home.

Gah. Confused. Is she referring to a program the US has set up or is she actually saying that she has a program that ships books out to soldiers and.. didn't.. know about it. I mean, I can geniunely see Darla doing all the work and reminding LKH every one in awhile of how fantastically generous she is.

[bludflower.livejournal.com]

My dad was in the army in the late 60s. He got his GED while serving. Uneducated? Yeah. Unintelligent? Not by a longshot. Some of the guys he served with were given a choice--army or prison--and one guy was borderline retarded.

Exactly what point is LKH trying to prove by babbling about how she knows intelligent people in the milatary? Big whoop. Just because a few cashiers at Wal-Mart are college students, doesn't mean that they're not also willing to hire a mentally challenged person as a greeter or a high school dropout to push carts.

She's just another prime examble of blind, ignorant patriotism. She's too dim to understand what King really meant by his comment. Maybe she should join the military. *snerk!* =P

[ever-obsessed.livejournal.com]

Oh, LKH, your jealousy is showing.

And so is your stupidity.

I agree with King completely even if the guy could have worded it better - in no way is he saying that the military is made up of idiots. He lived through enough that I don't for a single second think that, ooh, he has no grasp of what he speaks. One, he has a full handle on what he's saying and, two, he's not pulling punches just because of the mess of patriotism we're involved in now. You cannot say a single word right now that weighs even slightly negatively against the US, and this is a perfect example of that, as well as an example of LKH's rampant belief that her shit truly does not stink. In her mind, clearly, King is to be made the evil one because he can actually write beyond "fuck me while I'm tight!" and she knows it even if she can't come to terms with it.

So we get this kind of nonsense.

There are people who cannot read past 'cat' and 'dog' and can only do the basics in math, if that - if you want to get somewhere, you need an education, even if it's just the basics. What are the options if you don't have that education and if you're not that one in a billion who wins the lottery? The military is one, and after what he's seen in his life (the draft being a biggie), King knows exactly what he's saying here. Was the wording perfect? No, but he was speaking what most people don't want to say out loud because that's unpatriotic. He's trying his hardest to make young people understand just important an education is.

And this is what follows, ugh.

King said he supports the troops but believes the war in Iraq is "waste of national resources ... and that includes the youth and blood of the 4,000 American troops who have lost their lives there and for the tens of thousands who have been wounded."

"I live in a National Guard town, and I support our troops, but I don't support either the war or educational policies that limit the options of young men and women to any one career -- military or otherwise," King said.

"Go King" is pretty much all I can say right now.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Well, as sad as it is, Stephen King is kind of right. He was making an example; a point. He chose the military but he could have said, garbage man... or cleaning lady; or employee at "The Work Bench".
He wasn't demeaning any profession, especially not the military, he was just stating that education is the way to the best jobs... let's face it, you can't possibly be the CEO of a big company if you don't have a proper education. I never heard him say that militaries were all illiterate. Heck, even people with higher degrees of education end up as garbage men and women!!
It's kind of hard to find work nowadays and education is a good thing to have if you're fighting that battle. That was King's message and if I could get it (I am not even english, so it would be okay if I misunderstood some words, right?), why didn't LKH?

[dreamstrifer.livejournal.com]

Dear LKH,

As a future member of the United States Air Force (I swear in next week), we don't need your sorry butt to defend us. Stephen King is entitled to his opinion, and it's pretty much spot on. A lot of people, my boyfriend included, have considered the armed forces because they flat out don't have the money to complete their education. This is sad, that they can't get an education because of lack of funds.

And I hope to God that the troops have more stuff to read than your sorry drivel. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!

Die in a Fire,

Future Arabic Linguist

[brandiweed.livejournal.com]

A lot of people, my boyfriend included, have considered the armed forces because they flat out don't have the money to complete their education.

Too bad the military (and presidential candidate McCain) doesn't think they deserve a GI Bill. (http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=4652517&page=1)

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

I get what Stephen King was saying, and agree with him. Why LKH is having so much difficulty understanding him, is beyond me. I've seen recruiters target the kids who don't have a chance (or the monies) to get a complete education. Michael Moore pointed it out in his movie, 'Farenhiet 9-11'. In fact, I suspect that this was one reason why one very tenacious recruiter kept calling me (repeatedly, even after I said 'no') after I graduated from high school. Coming from a single parent home with no college funds set aside, and no extra money for that in the first place, perhaps the recruiter thought I would leap at the chance to join them. Unfortunately for them, I am simply going to work my ass off at whatever job I can get here, and slowly finish college that way.

Not to say that every recruiter works like this, or everyone in the armed forces is a poor uneducated soul in need of money for education. But as dreamstrifer pointed out above me, it is sad that people can't get an education unless they have money. Someone needs to tell LKH that poor people do exist, and yes, we like to go to college too.

"To be quite honest, I don't think LKH is smart at all. I actually believe she's pretty slow, to put it lightly."

That reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Peter found out he was retarded. Perhaps LKH is just slightly above being developmentally disabled.

[roguetailkinker.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have to go against the crowd here and say that King's comment comes off like yet another wealthy neocon saying "Anybody can get a job, and if you don't, you're just lazy!" - in blatant defiance of the fact of rising unemployment rates and the difficulty of getting a job in most areas.

If he actually intended it to mean anything close to that, then he is a bigger overprivileged asshat that LKH ever was, and he fails at life.