Book Flog: Key to Conspiracy by Talia Gryphon

[missamii.livejournal.com]

Because two people asked for it, the book flog for Key to Conspiracy is here.

 http://missamii.livejournal.com/3217.html

If Gryphon and LKH were to have a "Who's the Sue-iest" Deathmatch, it would be close.

Comments

[easol.livejournal.com]

Oh Lord, this sounds almost as ghastly as the first, if nothing else because she is trying to improve a few aspects of it, yet cannot fix what is fundamentally wrong with it.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Were-moose?


(Somehow I can't imagine that a were-moose is cooler than a sabertoothed moose lion. Bah. And also fie.)

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

I remember reading once that the reason it's werewolves, weretigers, etc, is because those are creatures that are dangerous/feared. You never hear about wereturtles. That's an almost direct quote from the book.
Yet somehow LKH and her minion seemed to have missed that. I mean, LKH has wereswans. Swans are really not that dangerous/fearsome creatures. Unless you're in a Sue Townsend novel. Then they can break your arm.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I cannot bring myself to believe that review. Surely nobody got that kind of aimless, retarded bullshit published. Nobody thought "magic portal in a tree" was good plot development. Please, God?

[missamii.livejournal.com]

Magic tree portals are standard Dark Elf powers in this book. Mr. Dark Elf also used magic tree portals to get from Russia to England.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

... Okay, that makes it slightly better. But only because hell, what isn't a "standard [insert fantasy race] power" in her books?

[easol.livejournal.com]

You know, I was reading Jim Butcher's latest, and I think he was poking fun at LKH in the scene where Harry is practically freaking out over the idea of "weregoats," because he thinks it's so STUPID.

Oh, and does the weremoose travel with a wereflyingsquirrel?

[missamii.livejournal.com]

He travels with kidnappers named Boris and Natasha. No weresquirrels I'm afraid.

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

I loved this review. It was freaking hilarious. Yet, at the same time, it really made my head hurt.

It's amazing how this crap gets published.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Please tell me that was a joke. I need to know that that was a joke... with most authors I could tell right away, but with Gryphon...

[missamii.livejournal.com]

No joke. Dead serious.

Discovering Gryphon was like striking buried treasure and by that I really mean stepping on an active land mine.

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

Fearsome... maybe not, but a grown swan can easily drown a grown man^^ And if the pair have youngs then there's nothing that will stop them from chasing away potential danger^^
But putting swans with wolfs and tigers? Puuuhllleeeeasse-___-

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

Boris and Natasha... excuse me, can we get any more cliche? I guess no...
Well, at least it's not Tanya *shudders*

[easol.livejournal.com]

Is Natasha tall, thin and dressed like Morticia Adams, and addresses everyone as "darlnk"? Is Boris tiny and round and wears a weird little mustache?

Masochism makes me ask.

[phyrra.livejournal.com]

I would almost say the swans come from some celtic myth about people turning into swans. I can't think of what it's called.

[bluebanrigh.livejournal.com]

Hard to top the cuteness coolness that is Mr Foo Foo Cuddly Poops.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I've had a crappy day and this review made me laugh. So thank you, and also thanks to Talia Gryphon for writing the "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" of paranormal romance.

This isn't Celtic, but it's an old story

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

"The Seven Swans

Seven brothers were turned into swans by an evil spell cast by their stepmother. It could only be broken if their sister would weave them each a shirt, with not a sound passing her lips.
The little sister sat up in the tree, intent on her work. She was discovered by the King of that land, who was so taken with her beauty that he married her.
The King's mother, jealous, could not find anything good to say about her. A year after, when the couple's first child was born, the mother took it away, and told the King that his wife was a murderess, but the King would not believe it. This happened again with a second and third child.
By this time the whole kingdom was upset, and the King was obliged to let her be tried, and sentenced to be burned at the stake. It happened that on that day, the shirts were ready, all except the seventh which was lacking an arm. Her brother's restored to her (the youngest with a swan's wing instead of an arm), she was at last able to speak in her own defence. The King's mother took her place at the stake, and was burned to ashes."

This was done on tape in a book of fairy tales, and when I listened to it as a kid I got goose bumps.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's also called "The Wild Swans" -- part of the Brothers Grimm stories.

[plum-arden.livejournal.com]

You poor, poor thing for having read that. My head spins thinking about the actual book, but your reivew was really good. :) Holy cripes...were-moose? And a loup garou? No, I'm going to stop thinking about it now. I have to.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Holy CRAP, I thought that was reviewer snark! I was wondering why the piece didn't make more jokes about it.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

Awesome review.

Are you a professional writer? If you ever write a full length satire of the LKH-inspired, mary-sue porn genre, I'll certainly buy it.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

I knew there was a were-moose and a Boris... but Natasha too? The stupid hurts. Thank God she didn't taint Rocky's name, otherwise I would have had to smack her somehow.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

I miss Foo Foo Cuddly Poops. He needs to make another appearance... like destroying Ozai with his cuteness.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

The rape fantasy thing in general is just getting out of hand. When will these authors realize that it's NOT OKAY and it's NOT ROMANTIC and NOT SEXY? I mean, for fuck's sake! When I heard about Hamilton changing the rape scene to consensual sex in the paperback version of "Narcissus in Chains" I got a pounding headache. I'm sick and tired of it.