Book Flog: Key to Conspiracy by Talia Gryphon

[missamii.livejournal.com]

Because two people asked for it, the book flog for Key to Conspiracy is here.

 http://missamii.livejournal.com/3217.html

If Gryphon and LKH were to have a "Who's the Sue-iest" Deathmatch, it would be close.

Comments

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

The rape fantasy thing in general is just getting out of hand. When will these authors realize that it's NOT OKAY and it's NOT ROMANTIC and NOT SEXY? I mean, for fuck's sake! When I heard about Hamilton changing the rape scene to consensual sex in the paperback version of "Narcissus in Chains" I got a pounding headache. I'm sick and tired of it.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

You should read the romance boards at amazon sometime.

A lot of the women there seem to want more rape or "forced seduction", and "abusive alphas", not less.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

If I read those boards, I might turn into She-Hulk. Hell, I had a "forced seduction" and I'm still angry about it eleven years later. It makes me wonder if the women who want this sort of thing have ever been assaulted.
Makes me wonder if LKH has ever experienced a situation where a man didn't take No and Stop for an answer.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Oh Lord, this sounds almost as ghastly as the first, if nothing else because she is trying to improve a few aspects of it, yet cannot fix what is fundamentally wrong with it.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Were-moose?


(Somehow I can't imagine that a were-moose is cooler than a sabertoothed moose lion. Bah. And also fie.)

[karmyn75.livejournal.com]

I remember reading once that the reason it's werewolves, weretigers, etc, is because those are creatures that are dangerous/feared. You never hear about wereturtles. That's an almost direct quote from the book.
Yet somehow LKH and her minion seemed to have missed that. I mean, LKH has wereswans. Swans are really not that dangerous/fearsome creatures. Unless you're in a Sue Townsend novel. Then they can break your arm.

[easol.livejournal.com]

You know, I was reading Jim Butcher's latest, and I think he was poking fun at LKH in the scene where Harry is practically freaking out over the idea of "weregoats," because he thinks it's so STUPID.

Oh, and does the weremoose travel with a wereflyingsquirrel?

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

Fearsome... maybe not, but a grown swan can easily drown a grown man^^ And if the pair have youngs then there's nothing that will stop them from chasing away potential danger^^
But putting swans with wolfs and tigers? Puuuhllleeeeasse-___-

[phyrra.livejournal.com]

I would almost say the swans come from some celtic myth about people turning into swans. I can't think of what it's called.

[bluebanrigh.livejournal.com]

Hard to top the cuteness coolness that is Mr Foo Foo Cuddly Poops.

[othellia.livejournal.com]

I miss Foo Foo Cuddly Poops. He needs to make another appearance... like destroying Ozai with his cuteness.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

I cannot bring myself to believe that review. Surely nobody got that kind of aimless, retarded bullshit published. Nobody thought "magic portal in a tree" was good plot development. Please, God?

[missamii.livejournal.com]

Magic tree portals are standard Dark Elf powers in this book. Mr. Dark Elf also used magic tree portals to get from Russia to England.

[cicipsychobunny.livejournal.com]

... Okay, that makes it slightly better. But only because hell, what isn't a "standard [insert fantasy race] power" in her books?

[gothgoddessrhia.livejournal.com]

I loved this review. It was freaking hilarious. Yet, at the same time, it really made my head hurt.

It's amazing how this crap gets published.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I've had a crappy day and this review made me laugh. So thank you, and also thanks to Talia Gryphon for writing the "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" of paranormal romance.

[plum-arden.livejournal.com]

You poor, poor thing for having read that. My head spins thinking about the actual book, but your reivew was really good. :) Holy cripes...were-moose? And a loup garou? No, I'm going to stop thinking about it now. I have to.

[kerame.livejournal.com]

Awesome review.

Are you a professional writer? If you ever write a full length satire of the LKH-inspired, mary-sue porn genre, I'll certainly buy it.

[missamii.livejournal.com]

Me? Professional? No.
I guarantee you that most people could have created something amusing because there is so much to riff off of. Gryphon is a joke that writes itself.

I am working a little something that like a grind-house urban fantasy thing, but as for a full length parody... well, I think there should be like a variation of Poe's Law or something because I think the genre has reached the point that I don't think we could separate satire from the real thing.

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

That book was just utterly insane...
Spectacular review. Kudos for not only reading one of the worst books written, but for being able to write about it. You're a brave soul.

It's as if everything vaguely related to fantasy/ancient mythology/paranormal urban threw up into a garbage disposal. And Talia Gryphon found it, re-heated it in a microwave, and added some of that special LKH sauce to spicen it up.

[gator-grrrl.livejournal.com]

Trocar? She has a dark elf character named after a piece of equipment (long, thin, sharp, hollow-pointed needle) used in mortuaries to extract bodily fluids from corpses and replace them with embalming fluid??? Sweet...

I am appalled by her blatant pirating of Moose, Boris and Natasha, and guessing that she's saving Squirrel and Fearless Leader for the next book. Perhaps Morticia and Gomez will also make an appearance. Apparently this bint is blissfully ignorant/uncaring about copyright issues.

Let's hope that she never gets together with LKH to create a shared-world series, although that would make the brain bleach manufacturers rejoice because they would triple their sales.

Thanks for the great flog--an excellent reminder not to buy these books!

[longtail.livejournal.com]

You know, I can't even come up with my own personal fantasies about bishonen men (and I love my bishies, yes I do) that come out this...aimless and retarded.

Damn the muses, they give this woman a book deal and condemn me to impotent inspiration?! BAH!

[kerame.livejournal.com]

You could always apply for a position as one of Laurell's corset-clad bodyguards.

That's how Gryphon got her deal.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Seriously? Wow.

Hey, is there any photo evidence of LKH's cronies, like Jon and Darla and all? Or LKH and Jon's wedding?