My first AB book in three years... oh dear.

[pandorasblog]

The last book I read was Incubus Dreams, and that was more than three years ago. Even it was more fun than Danse Macabre, which I just journalled on BookCrossing when I got the book as part of a bookring (better than giving royalties to LKH)... this is my review:

Ah, the ardeur. It was trouble when it first appeared, but for a couple of books it managed to sit uneasily alongside the plot. Ah, the plot. That hasn't been seen in a while; not since before Incubus Dreams, the last Anita Blake book I read, and the first one to disappoint in a major way.

But this... for the first quarter of the book I actually thought about putting it down, which is most unlike me. I kept asking myself whether the grandstanding between vampire dignitaries had always been this elongated (I think the whole introduction to the visitors takes up two chapters, yet would be maybe ten minutes of realtime action at MOST), and whether there'd always been so many boring descriptions of hair and eyes.

Then there's the author's apparent belief that we need to have her stock phrases repeated all the time, because we can't remember the contexts of the characters' little habits. If I ever see the phrase "Gallic shrug that meant everything and nothing" again, I'm afraid that I'll be forced to stake Jean-Claude if only to stop him from shrugging, so that Anita will stop describing it.

And staking Jean-Claude would be a pity, because he's one of the two characters who actually manage to develop here, in that he finally gives Anita grief about how he has feelings too. The other character who advances a little in my estimation is Richard, because at least he's trying in the good sense of the word, for a change. As for what happens with Asher, I'm not sure I'd call that development on his part...

What it boils down to is that there's no longer any danger. At no point did I think, "Oh crumbs, how's she going to get out of this one?" It was just one "metaphysical emergency" after another, where sex was, to borrow from Homer Simpson's opinion on beer, both the cause of and solution to all of life's problems. I miss the days when the preternatural politics had a point: that Anita was going to use either her gun or her mouth (not like that) to get out of a room alive, and always had to balance her natural flippancy with the ancient immutable laws of vampire interaction.

I picked up a few of the Guilty Pleasures comics the other day, and while the art is far from perfect, it was nice to be reminded that these used to be adventure stories with ambiguity and a tough-as-nails heroine. I remain very puzzled about what Laurell K. Hamilton thinks she's doing...

Comments

[pandorasblog]

Yeah; the only reason I got 'em was that they were 25p each in the bargain bin. I was so annoyed about the standard of the art; Jean-Claude deserves to be drawn attractively, by which I mean that his collarbones should look like those of a human being. Some of that stuff made Michael Turner's artwork on Supergirl look accomplished.

[christraven.livejournal.com]

Brett Booth: butchering the human form since 1992.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I roundly criticized his new work in Koontz's Frankenstein comic on amazon.

[pandorasblog]

They've turned that Dean Koontz Frankenstein book into a comic!? Oh boy...

[christraven.livejournal.com]

Yup. Saw it, and it gave me many smiles. It should have been named Poutystein.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

I still have no idea what it means to do a Gallic shrug. I always assumed French people shrug like everyone else. Unless they don't. Gah.

And omigods, Anita's sex really is the cause of and solution to all of life's problems in those books. Thank you, Homer Simpson, we now have an analogy that works!

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Wait... I think I figured it out.
http://french.about.com/library/weekly/aa020901g.htm

That's what Jean-Claude does that Anita keeps reminding us of?

[easol.livejournal.com]

I don't think that gesture means "everything and nothing." When I look at that, I think "I'm unarmed, don't shoot" (which might be useful around Anita) and "I'm making jazz hands!"

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Apparently you can also do a Gallic shrug without the hand gesture, but that looks like a temper tantrum or constipation.

[shalanar.livejournal.com]

Wow...that is just...wow. I always assumed it was maybe just a disinterested shrug, or some such. That, however looks rediculous.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

You think that looks ridiculous? Look at this hands-free version:


(http://hicsuntdracones.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/wwwtelegraphcouk_french-rude-gesture_the-gallic-shrug.jpg)

[shalanar.livejournal.com]

See, without the pouty lip it would be ok...the pouty lip really takes away from it. I never pictured JC pouting when he "gallic-ly" shrugged...but actually it makes so much sense, given how whipped of a character he's become...

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Apparently, the pout is very specific to the Gallic shrug. Not sure why.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

I think it's because the person doing it is aiming to look innocent, like "who me? I don't know anything". Actually, I do it a lot when I don't know what people are talking about... I shrug, pout (thoughtfully for a moment) and at the same time raise my hands up. I never knew this was called "gallic shrug" but it's a gesture done when people simply don't know something or just plainly don't care. LOL.

[plum-arden.livejournal.com]

So, what JC is saying, but isn't saying is that none of it is his fault, which he doesn't agree with, but he doesn't know, and doubts it can be done? And that look...if I were to see it, I'd have to agree with easol that good ole JC was about to break out into jazz hands. But he might not agree with it! ROFL

[katekat]

i actually think this exemplifies it much better:

http://thejeffreytaylor.blip.tv/file/494395/

(video, so you can see it in action).

[gwynethfar.livejournal.com]

"He gave a Gallic shrug, that meant everything and nothing, and also looked like he was about to raise the roof."

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

"And bust out in a cheesy hip hop song."

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

Noooo, anything but that!

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

*gives you a classic Gallic shrug*

[watersheerie.livejournal.com]

That's it? The way LKH describes it, you think it's this wonderfully magical and sexy gesture that defines pretty much everything Jean Claude, and is (that sexy beast).

How hard would it have been for LKH to write "Jean Claude shrugged, raising his hands in the air in a gesture of dispassionate neutrality (insert any other word for 'I don't give a flying fuck')"

Instead we get the 'Gallic shrug' that leaves readers wondering what the fuck LKH means. For some reason, everytime I see that phrase I think of 'Gaelic'...a 'Gaelic shrug', as opposed to the 'French shrug' or the 'American shrug' ::does an American shrug that means 'fuck off, I don't give a damn'::

One phrase that bothered me the most was Anita's overuse of the 'who me?'. Scared, who me? Angry, who me? A whore, who me?

[lilacwire.livejournal.com]

The phrase that got me was always, "I heard someone screaming/panting/crying/etc, and it was me."

[deadroman.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! I agree completely. This is the one that drives me nuts every time.

[pandorasblog]

Yeah, that did get overused. At least she didn't "relearn how to breathe" this time. Perhaps she's got more used to having Micah down her throat...

[alucard66.livejournal.com]

I've said this before, but "doing himself" was the most annoying thing I've ever read in an AB novel (it appears in the beginning of ID). It sounds so immature, like something a middle-schooler would say. Then again, given Anita's emotional maturity . . .

[tylergrrls.livejournal.com]

"Kissed me like he was going to eat me from the mouth down" and "Glowed like a captive star" are my two AAAAAAARGH phrases. Oh my God I am so sick of both of them. Not that I've picked up a book in years, but seriously. I still wince.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Kissed me like he was going to eat me from the mouth down"

That phrase shows up more than once?!

[amamelina.livejournal.com]

Icon twins!

and yes, that phrase shows up a lot. I think she has a quota of at least once a book now.

[plum-arden.livejournal.com]

Well, by using the phrase "Gallic shrug" it can do a two things for LKH:
1) Make her look smarter than us, cuz neener-neener! she knows a phrase we, her unsophisticated readers don't.
2) Makes JC look/sound sexier because it's not just a shrug, it's a Gallic shrug. And if it's French, it's sexy!

Now having seen both pictures supplied by the lovely and talented rosefox8, my liking of the character of JC has gone down about 59%. I loved him at first, he was wonderful. Smooth, corrupting, the "bad boy." And now? He's totally coming off as poutier than a kid who was just told they can't have their way. I'd be mad at him too for being such a whiney ass bitch.

[slayra.livejournal.com]

Ooh... now I understand what she means with "Gallic shrug". But the girl in the pic is doing it wrong, I think. The hands shouldn't be positioned like that, but "palms UP", perpendicular to the shoulders. At the same time, you shrug and pout a little, like saying "Hey, it's not my fault" or "hey, don't look at me". More like this (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/206/491107354_92fb9113ff.jpg?v=0) (ignore the girl's weird face expression, though and imagine the sexy pout in Jean-Claude's lips). ^___^

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Okay, that makes a LOT more sense there. In the link I found it looks like the girl is saying, "Don't shoot me, I'm cute!"

[lilacwire.livejournal.com]

I wonder if Laurell knows what a Gallic shrug actually is or made up her own meaning, assuming it was just a shrug....

[eldestmuse.livejournal.com]

Oh! It's French! It must be awesome!

I must use it!

For JC, he is teh suave, teh sexy, teh FRENCH!

/i dunno either.

[easol.livejournal.com]

I sort of wonder if the vampires do silly things like jazz hands when nobody else is looking."

"Bon! Now it is time for the chicken dance, mon ami! Ma petit is so easily impressed by a few slithers and sways that I cannot help but string her along!"

[othellia.livejournal.com]

I sort of wonder if the vampires do silly things like jazz hands when nobody else is looking."

Damn it! You made me spit milk on my computer. There are specks all over the screen now... D:

[nightangel486.livejournal.com]

I just got a great mental picture of JC doing a straightfaced chicken dance

[easol.livejournal.com]

"As for what happens with Asher, I'm not sure I'd call that development on his part..."

I'd call it development for the first few paragraphs, where he's talking about how he's desperate to be somebody's one'n'only (implication: not you, Ms. Harem-owner). Then Anita plies him with her crotch, and emotional booboos are magically all better!

[pandorasblog]

You're right; I'd forgotten that part! As with Jean-Claude, nice to have Anita reminded that vampires have feelings too. I mean, Jean-Claude would have to have a heart of stone not to worry about how much more at ease she seemed around Micah and Nathaniel.

And Asher... when the three of them thrashed out how Jean-Claude wasn't doing him because Anita would bitch, I foolishly thought there was hope; the way that scene closed gave me the impression that she was in effect giving them permission to be physical with each other. But later on something about their behaviour or dialogue gave me the impression that no such implied agreement had taken place. If anything, after what happened with Asher biting Anita, it seems like there's even more reason for Jean-Claude to give Asher some private time... :S

Also - do the police come back in the next couple of books? I really missed them...

[kerame.livejournal.com]

"I foolishly thought there was hope; the way that scene closed gave me the impression that she was in effect giving them permission to be physical with each other"

What's worse is that she continues to string readers along, then backtracks. At the end of TH there was a throwaway line which acknowledged that JC and Asher were finally together, but I knew Laurita's ego wouldn't be able to handle it. In BN they're frustrated, unrequited, born-again ass-virgins, AGAIN!

[pandorasblog]

Oh, damn!!

[easol.livejournal.com]

Hell, as punishment for that throwaway line, their development has been shunted back to CS! They were doing the same "trying the date-a-trois" back at the end of THAT book.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I'm on page 300ish out of 400ish. I think we're finally getting to the "plot". The thing is, there's not much room for plot left.

[pandorasblog]

There is a smidge of plot towards the end. But yes, it takes a damned long time to get going.

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

Tasting pulses "like candy on my tongue" shits me, as does the "let me test my understanding".
And if I have to read one more kitty cat eyes, ankle length auburn braid and/or vanilla scented skin, I'm going on a rampage with napalm and a flamethrower.
Ultimately - the real bottom line is how sad, frustrated and deeply disappointed I am over what the books could have been.
This parallel world LKH envisioned could have been brilliant, the vampire/were/human politics could have been fascinating, the animator/necromancer training, work and moral quandaries mind boggling, the magic, crime and secret governmental interest enthralling.
The opportunities that go begging for true character development drive me nuts!
It's that the books are badly written, smutty trash - AND THEY JUST DON'T HAVE TO BE!! {/end rant}

[pandorasblog]

Exactly. LKH wonders why we get so upset, but it's because we feel something taken away from us - something that was good and is now crap. To my knowledge she was the first author to effectively parallel the experiences of preternaturals and real-world legal minorities; she set up all kinds of interesting situations there.

What makes me sad is that I don't feel she's interested in exploring that stuff any more. If she really wanted to, she could write herself out of the corner that is the ardeur - it's been made clear in this book alone that finding strong enough "food" is a good way to control it. Let Anita have sex a bunch of times a day, but let the references to the sex that's about practicality and not about psychological interactions be perfunctorily referenced - just like how she can write about drinking coffee or taking a shower without going into major detail. And let us get our paranormal cops'n'robbers stuff back!

[openidwouldwork.livejournal.com]

YES, EXACTLY. So much YES