Let's pray she never visits Paraguay

[surcia.livejournal.com]

So my sister lived in Paraguay for a month last summer and while there, learned about a folk spirit called Kurupi. Kurupi is a short, hairy man who has a prehensile penis which is so immense that he wraps it around himself like a belt. He's also considered, according to the Wikipedia article, to be 'lord of the forests and protector of wild animals'. He's also supposed to be ugly, but... y'know... selective reading happens.

> Short
> Hair (I'm sure 'hairy' could be translated to 'ridiculously long hair')
> Supernatural
> Powers that make it sound like every lycanthrope could be at his beck and call
> And last but certainly not least, hung like a horse whose junk has been on a rack for the past hundred years.

I'm sure that says it all. I think I'm going to go pray that she never finds out about him and thus doesn't ruin poor Guaraní culture.

(If I had any writing talent at all, I would write deathfic about him hanging Anita with his prehensile penis. That seems like it would be an incredibly poetic end for her, don't you think?)

Comments

[graesea.livejournal.com]

That is fantastic! Thank you for getting my morning off to a great start.

[fizzylizard.livejournal.com]

ARGH!

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

OR she would choke on it^________^ Gag reflex or not, some things are NOT supposed to go thereXD

[surcia.livejournal.com]

...and given that it's long enough to wrap around her waist several times... imagine the sex scene. His immense manhood spilled down my throat, winding its way down, through my stomach and into my large intestine. His face bled to an exquisite synergy of pleasure and pain as my digestive juices spilled over the sensitized flesh until I felt his member poke its head out of my anus, tasting air again. It wrapped under me to thrust into my deep, tight, wet cavern, and

I need to go shoot myself in the head now. (additionally, according to my sister, it's actually forty feet long.)

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

AGGGGGGH! *bleaches YOUR brain!!!* Good God! I want to ask you how you could do that, but I'm afraid!

[easol.livejournal.com]

KILL ME!

:-P

[syrinx.livejournal.com]

Bad! Bad surcia for making our minds go there!

[pastygothchick.livejournal.com]

Amazingly still more romantic than LKH.

I only have to use a 10% brain bleach solution for this.

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

I hate you. Hate you with the intensity of a thousand burning passions which are suppose to exude from Anita's crotch.

I'm going to throw myself against a wall repeatedly, head first.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

If Galen's penis is as big as Kurupi's I think I finally figured out how Merry got pregnant from oral sex/

[surcia.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's a direct route from the digestive symptom to the reproductive system. Although maybe supernatural beings have supernatural semen that can burrow through mortal womens' bodies and reach the eggs that way.

[ladymuttly1.livejournal.com]

I was thinking that the super penis punched a hole through the stomach into the womb.

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I think I've seen a hentai like that beforeXD

[swiftgold.livejournal.com]

Ghastly's Ghastly Comic has that in one of the later comics for a tentacle monster joke - I remember it because it took me a minute to figure out how it was even possible!

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

Well... it wasn'tXD That's why it would be possible in AB bookXD

[swiftgold.livejournal.com]

Hehe, well, she's already in comic book form, I guess it wouldn't be much of a stretch at all to jump to hentai...

[lucky-ninja.livejournal.com]

Unless Kurupi naturally reek of stale cooking extracts, Marshall Doomcrotch might not be interested.

[surcia.livejournal.com]

Obviously he would smell of the forest and of all of the strains of lycanthropy that Anita has.

[easol.livejournal.com]

Maybe selective flowers. Where does jasmine grow?

[surcia.livejournal.com]

According to Wikipedia, "tropical and warm temperate regions of the Old World". So that wouldn't be in Paraguay, and my sister can't remember any specific plants. But apparently there are large, spiky flowers.

[burning-nova.livejournal.com]

He will smell like the forest, fresh rain (rain forest get it?), nature, and show now interest in banging Anita. Anita will go into rape-sex mode and then he'll suddenly want to do Anita. Anita will protest. He will show her that that thing is in fact not a tail but his wang. Anita will compare it to MIcah and relent. Crappy sex will ensue. Micah will get booted as Anita's #1 sex-slave. Micah will be jealous and wang contents will ensue. Anita's crotch will make everything better. Micah will accept it. Everyone lives happily ever after until which ever next big bad vamp comes into town and demands to have sex with Anita.

[surcia.livejournal.com]

Oh, and there might be Nazis. All those stories about the Nazis going to South America.

[easol.livejournal.com]

And we'll be reminded that Nazis are evil and bad, and that because Anita is just the kindest sweetest bestest person EVAH, she has nothing in common with them. No, she is a shining saint who would never rape, enslave...

Excuse me, I just sprained my face...

[morriganscrow.livejournal.com]

By the sounds of it, he could screw Anita, Micah AND Nathaniel simultaneously - from Anita's anus (thanks for that image, surcia!) to Nate's vanilla scented arse, pop out his mouth, then repeat to whichever of Tripod's orifices you prefer. A true daisy chain!!

[surcia.livejournal.com]

I got clarification from my sister -- apparently, his penis is forty feet long. He could do the whole cast at the same time.

[easol.livejournal.com]

But some would enjoy it a lot more. ;)

[surcia.livejournal.com]

Asher and Jean-Claude at the same time!

[easol.livejournal.com]

On one giant penis! Wonder if they dream about that.

[easol.livejournal.com]

More like a kebab skewer.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Since he's the god of sexuality, the forest and all animals, I'd like him to deal with Anita by miraculously removing all strains of lycanthropy from Anita's bloodstream, freeing everyone from Anita's sexual influence, and turning Anita herself into a short balding fortysomething male eunuch. And all these transformations would be permanent.

And then he would disappear, leaving the former Anita to scream with rage while the former harem looked at each other, blinked and said, "Why the hell are we here again?"

[acostilow.livejournal.com]

"Duuuuuude, that was some awesome weed, duuuude...."

[surcia.livejournal.com]

And then their original personalities would remove and they'd all thank Kurupi, who would then head out to find some young Guaraní maiden to ravish.

[jeza-red.livejournal.com]

"and turning Anita herself into a short balding fortysomething male eunuch"

I would PAY to read about that!! Pay a looooot of cashXD *here, take my life savings*